To think 'friend' was being a bitch.

[Vickymumof4]

Long story but will try to keep it short. Met up with some friends yesterday for coffee and one of the girls really upset me. There's four of us, all ex work friends who usually meet up a couple of times a month for coffee and we all get on really well. We were talking about the torrential rain and storms that we had a few weeks ago and one of them was saying about how her fence had blown down and roof tiles had come off etc, so I told them about what happened to me. Driving in this awful rain with dd and we saw a woman walking along a very very busy duel carriageway with no coat on in this horrendous rain. Drove past and I remarked to dd how awful and I bet her car had broken down etc etc so we came off road and drove back round and pulled in a lay-by to offer her a lift, or the use of our phone. Turned out she was a 12 year old girl ( hard to tell with the rain) who had run away from home and was going to meet a man she had met on the Internet in a town 40 miles away. Obviously I couldn't then just drop her off somewhere so I called the police and then took her to my home to wait for them. Police came and took this girl home and then followed up with a lovely call to tell me what had happened, as did her mum to thank me for stopping. My friend then said in a very bitchy way " oh your a proper Samaritan you aren't you" I asked what she meant and she said " well only you would stop fgs everyone else would have thought aww what a shame and gone about their day, but your always adopting waifs and strays" ( I have an adopted dd as well as fostered children over the years). I didn't tell the story to receive any kind of praise but was just telling them what had happened in the context of the conversation. This comment has really upset me, as it was the way in which it was said.Dh has just said ignore it and that she can be a real bitch sometimes with everyone, but I can't get over the WAY it was said, in a sneery, bitchy way.Aibu to want to phone her and speak to her about how much it upset me or should I just ignore this comment as she has never been like this to me before and we just carried on as normal after it was said.

Worra makes a good point.

Worraliberty I'm not sure whether she believed me or not tbh, I hadn't thought of that, which only makes matters worse for me as not only does she think I'm some sort of do-gooder, but also a liar.

Worra does indeed make a good point.

She sounds like a particularly poisonous person to put such a spin on things, especially the dig about 'waifs and strays' when you foster children (and adopted your daughter). That's a horrible way to describe children in need of care- although I bet if you confronted her about it she'd pretend that wasn't what she meant at all. Someone who can be a 'real bitch sometimes with everyone' isn't worth knowing. I'm not sure if I would bother speaking to her about it, but I definitely wouldn't want to be around her in future. You know what she thinks of you now.

Hmmm, she sounds unpleasant. I'd give her benefit of the doubt this time but be cautious and avoid if it happens again. You'd don't need a friend like this.

Don't call her back. Never call her again!

I don't understand why the police let you take her home. You could have been anyone!

See I don't know the procedure here.

But I just wouldn't have thought the Police would deem it ok to allow a runaway child, to go off with a stranger in their car to their home, to wait for them.

I'm absolutely not calling you a liar, but I will admit to being shocked that the Police thought this was OK.

You could have been anyone - at the very least an uninsured driver.

Still, at least it all worked out well so I'd forget about your 'friend's' comment.

The story does come across as a bit odd. If that had happened to me I would have surely mentioned it in a "You won't believe what happened the other day" way rather than it coming up as part of a conversation about the weather. And the way you have posted here makes me think you want everyone to say how super you are, really. So if it came across the same in RL, it might explain why your firing was a bit rude.

I would imagine that the OP phoning the police to tell them about the girl would have been sufficient grounds to show her good intentions, surely?

OP - your friends reaction was totally cunty. Whether because she didn't believe you, or she thought you really are a "do-gooder", we can't say - but it was a very unnecessary thing to say.

Glad you found the girl and stopped for her. So many people wouldn't.

Take note, op: you are only allowed to do kind things provided that you never speak of them to anyone unconnected to the incident. Can't have you seeming to brag you know. Tsk.

I would find that a bit braggy tbh. Especially the part about the grateful phone calls. And it does sound far fetched. She was rude though.

Not a nice thing to say but the comment is probably best ignored.

I did this once - 30 years ago. Coming home in the early hours I saw someone sitting in a shop doorway. I went past - it was central London and I was on foot BUT instinct told me to go back and ask if person was ok. Discovered 13yr-old who had run away - no money, no coat, nothing. Did same as you - took her home and rang the police.

She was a very troubled child and ran away many times. Used to come and visit and we built a strong relationship. 30 years on I am still in touch - it is nice.

It is also a story and we tell stories in social situations. YWNBU. The friend - maybe she does have a problem with you for other reasons. I wouldn't make a thing of this but I'd think again about my interaction with her. If you see more of this then as others have said - disengage.

I agree about the good intentions, but surely if the OP had an accident with that child in the car or anything else went wrong, the Police would be in trouble for allowing her to go off in a car to the home of a stranger?

Again, I'm not doubting the OP. I'm just very surprised at the Police.

Either way, if the friend had a problem with the story, she should have questioned her instead of making nasty comments.

Without going into the minute details of the conversation she didn't just get in the car and announce that she was meeting a man from the Internet. She said she had argued with her mum so was going to see a friend so I offered her my phone to ring them then she said HE would be at work and she didn't know the number etc. her story just didn't add up. She was in my car and I asked her how old she was ( I could then see that she was very young) and once in the car I couldn't then just tell her to get out. The police were lovely and very thankful that I'd stopped to help her, as was her mother who phoned me later.

The woman has no heart. I applaud your kindness. I once had one of those young people come to our home selling home wear stuff (ironing board covers, dusters etc). He was on some kind of offenders programme. It was pissing down ...real torrential stuff. He was wearing a T shirt and a cardi ffs. I bought a pack of wipes or something and gave him my umbrella. Least I could do.

I got a load of flack about it for being a "do-gooder".

You're a lovely person and you could have saved this child from a quite dreadful outcome.

Sorry - just seen that people might think I am bragging too. I don't mean to.

I was out for a walk in the fields on a December day many, many years ago - and I fell on the ice into a ditch. I couldn't get up. (No phones in those days and no-one knew where I was as I lived alone). Some time later a wonderful women walking her dog saw something and came over to investigate. If she hadn't taken me home I don't know what would have happened as it was starting to get dark and it was a little used path. Always grateful.

Last month some one lovely brought my elderly mother home after a fall. again - so kind and I am so very grateful.

It makes society a better place for all of us.

She was a bee-yatch and doesn't sound like much of a friend.

I don't think I'd ring her about it, but I'd be a bit cooler towards her from now on.

I agree with worra.

I've known people who talk about all the things they;be done and situations they've been where they are almost always hero of the hour where they've rescued/stepped in/confronted/done something spectacular with expressions of so much gratitude at the end of it all. TBH I think that most of the time they're just fantasists who crave some kind of validation.

having to listen to people talking about all the good they have done constantly gets a bit wearing after a while, especially when the details sound so completely far-fetched as this one does.

The police would surely have wanted someone with a child to wait at the scene so to speak, no way would the police have agreed to take her to your house - they would have wanted her to go the station if anywhere...

She's shown herself up as a bitch with that comment, saying she would ignore someone in distress and implying children in care are waifs and strays. I would definitely want to distance myself from the friendship but the problem is that this would affect the group dynamic. Then again, they didn't stand up for you when she was insulting you so you have to decide how much you care about that.

Thank goodness for people like you.

You did a wonderful thing, and you should be able to share that with your friends.

Your "friend" has issues.

Eliza22 there seem to be mixed views on the people selling door to door on the youth offender programmes.

The confusion seems to be over who is sponsoring them, I have a friend who works for the probation service and she says that these people are not out there with the knowledge of the probation service so it's a bit questionable. MY DP has bought from them in the past but I never do, although they are pleasant enough.

Wow, what a spiteful woman she is.

I think she was envious your other friends were saying positive things (did they say the positive things first?) and annoyed that you were in the limelight.

Sod her - you sound amazing and she sounds a jealous bitch.