WIBU to throw out my jumper because frankly it is a bastard

[MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours]

Nice looking jumper. Dark Grey, sort of an over jumper with 3/4 length sleeves. Looks nice on.

But the bastard catches it's sleavep on Every. Bloody. Door. Handle! Maliciously!

I am forever being jerked backwards in comedy fashion when attempting to enter a room and I've had enough.

The jumper is gonna get it!

Knobs do cause a lot of problems, it's true.

Liking the phrase (verb?) to Bobbit, a lot.

My jamas do this - murdering fuckers!

I had a heavy wool jumper that smothers me. But the kids gave it to me so I have to wear it.

I took a pair of scissors to my beautiful but very badly behaved FatFace scarf. It kept dragging on the floor, tripping me up, wrapping itself around things, getting stuck in my hood etc. I lopped about a foot off it and showed it who's boss . Now it gives me no bother (but is rather frayed..)

I have a belt which is fraying at the end. Earlier it hooked itself on the inside of the shed door which I had just slammed. Not embarrassing at all to be jerked back and have to try and reopen the door backwards... Not at all...

An elastic band on each arm above the elbow and hoik the sleeves up when in the house.
I've learned from experience :)

I have a death-wish dressing gown. Catches me on every door and cupboard door handle.

Fucker.

I have some beautiful irregular choice boots (cue chorus of 'no you don't'; shurrup, I like poncey boots).

The heels like to skid abruptly in opposite directions & put me on my arse.

Usually just as I've got the three glass of wine 'cor, I'm actually really very cool & devastatingly attractive' feeling going on.

I have recently discarded the bastard cardigan that not only catches on every sticky-out thing I pass, but adds insult to injury by covering every surface in browny-purple fluff. It's been unpopular with DH since he found its fluff in the baby's nappy. The baby is now 2, but the bastard cardigan keeps tempting me with its soft fluffiness. This time it has to go.

Sell it on a local site. It deserves it.

I have no mercy on clothing with attitude. I start by putting them on a long very hot wash in the machine to break their spirit and shrink them plus give them to my cat to sleep, fart and be sick on.

+1 the suggestion to give it new life as a vest, or whatever those sleeveless jumpers are. Not quite sure how one would style it tho...

Thank you for bringing this problem out in the open. I've just realized that I've had, over the years, a number of abusive garments and have just accepted that that was the way things were.

"My jamas do this - murdering fuckers!"

My cousin's pyjamas tripped her up going down the stairs, causing her to break her back.

She's okay now, but it was such a shock and worry at the time for DA and DU. Cursed clothing indeed.

So many murderous clothing.

They're all in it together.

Conspiratorial Cloth Bastard's!

I have a work too that on first wear caught on a door handle and ripped a little. It was expensive and makes me look half decent but every time I wear it I catch it on the door handles and the hole gets bigger. It won't sew as its too delicate. Unlike the owner.

I have skinny jeans that conspire to ride my knickers down.... I've had to hoick them (my knickers) up in public twice today.... Whilst my jeans snigger at my public humiliation. Feckers

DD3 would sympathize, Veda; her tights are always dragging her knicks down on the way to and from school.

liz my mum always wears a second pair of knickers over her thighs to keep her first pair up!!! she's 75, that memory just made me pmsl. She tried to teach me that technique when I was in secondary... (A long time ago) haven't thought about it in years, I bet she still does it

since my slippers tried to kill me on the stairs (went from top to bottom) I have decided that cold blue feet are the way to go.

Get rid!
I have a pair of shoes that were razor blades in a past life. I paid a fortune for them so tried to sneak them put in a charity bag. DH rescued the bastards for me.
Left them at a friends house after a bbq, DH rescued them for me.
Left them out for the dog to shoe, SODDING DH rescued them for me

Cut the sleeves off and wear it as a tank top?

"my mum always wears a second pair of knickers over her thighs"

I'm now picturing your mum with her secondary pair of knicks halfmast down her legs - bit like my DD.

I'm sure I read somewhere that the Queen stitches lead into all her hems to avoid this sort of thing. Keeps your arms heavy and out of the clutches of the bobbity knobs.

Sandbrook revive memories of schooldays by tying the laces* together and flinging them over a telegraph line. Leave the fuckers dangling there, like a corpse on the gibbet.

*or attach string if necessary