AIBU to think my DS teacher needs to think about her language?

[Rinoachicken]

Some background: DS1 is in Y1 and has an assessment coming up soon for ASD, he was referred by school. DH does most dropoffs and all pick ups due to my working hours. By the time I get home at 4 school phones are closed.

So today I get home and find out that DS1 has wet himself at school. DH says that DS1 misunderstood an instruction by his teacher to use the toilet at break times only and so waited and didn't make it in time. DS1 one had apparently told the other Y1 teacher that his teacher had said he couldn't go to the toilet. So at home time she told my DH that DS1 had lied. So used that word.

AIBU to be angry that she is accusing him of lying? For the record I don't think she said he couldn't go to the toilet, I think he just misunderstood. But he wasn't lying. It's like she thinks he was trying to get her Ito trouble or something.

It's not the first time she's used language like this. A few months back she said he had been 'making accusations' about classmates. I called the school and the headteacher answered the phone - he apologised for her words used and I explained that DS misreads his peers, so someone having a joke around, he would see that as being mailicious - so he's not making stuff up its just that he interprets it in a different way.

It seems to me that whatever she said to him, he has obviously misheard/misunderstood since he would not deliberately wet himself (he was very upset about it). So AIBU to think she should think about how she phrased it to make sure she's clearer next time, she should not be calling him a liar, and WIBU to call the school tomorrow about it?

Yes that's a fair point thank you echt

How stressful for you.
I have a much older child with ASD.
I think you need to ask for a meeting with head of year, or head of special needs or the head.
If the school are concerned and have encouraged you to have your child assessed, then they must be aware that he finds social communication difficult. Therefore it's up to the teachers, class room assistants to be more understanding.
Sadly you sons teacher seems to show a lack of understanding.
ASD kids take things very literally and often misinterpret.

but he didn't lie- he remembered the instruction from his teacher not to go to the wc until recess. That is why he did not ask - as the ct so disingenuously exclaims. The teacher had already made this a rule -he was not given the option to ask. This rule needs to be challenged as it is unrealistic for all small cc. This teacher is being dishonest and turning it around on a small c. She is not a suitable person to be teaching this -or perhaps any-age group.