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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is horrible and selfish?

123 replies

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 18:06

Now I know it's none of my business. I know people parent different and have different ways of looking at things.

Now, I'm all for parents having time away from their kids, kids having quality time with their grandparents etc

BUT

If you were planning a kid free long weekend away, just you and your DP, would you choose to go to DISNEY?

Woman in work did. Has only been with her DP for 3 months. Left her 5 year old DD at home with her nan and went to the place most kids dream of going. Wasn't a case of no money as she paid for the holiday.

I just couldn't do it. Barcelona or Florence, yes I probably could. Eurodisney, no.

Am I being too sensitive? pulls up judgy pants

OP posts:

TheCatsMeow · 18/01/2016 21:28

But Disney isn't just for kids. OP a better comparison would be it's like an adult getting excited about putting the Christmas tree up or dressing up for Halloween.

Some people have a childlike magic, there's nothing wrong with it

Original poster

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 21:34

Cats I agree somewhat - for my 30th About 15 of us went to Chessington world of adventure for 2 days and stayed in the hotel. It was amazing - there were zebras outside our window in the morning. My kids had an amazing time and still reference it as one of the best weekends ever.

OP posts:

TheCatsMeow · 18/01/2016 21:38

Clueing yeah that's really cool. I don't see Disney as any different really. I mean it would be weird to go away as a couple instead of as a family but in addition to it I think it makes sense

Corygal1 · 18/01/2016 22:07

Adults love Disney too. Why wouldn't that be OK?

GreatFuckability · 18/01/2016 22:15

3 months after meeting someone they wouldn't be meeting my child, so if they want to go to disney as a couple, then its fine by me.

LynetteScavo · 18/01/2016 22:19

No, DIsney isn't just for kids, but you wouldn't celebrate Christmas while sending your kids off to stay with relative who didn't, just so you could enjoy it with out your kids.

Well, I wouldn't.

Damselindestress · 18/01/2016 22:19

I wouldn't judge an adult for wanting to go to Disney but I think it is sad to leave her DD out at an age where she would love it.

LeaLeander · 18/01/2016 23:13

Well as GF pointed out it's too soon for boyfriend to be in the child's life so either way it's not going on the trip. So what diff does it make whether the adults go to Vegas, Paris or Disney? That doesn't preclude the child from going at another time.

KERALA1 · 18/01/2016 23:22

Adults going to Disney - very weird. Leaving your 5 year old at home whilst you go?!? Just....peculiar.

We endured a day for dds (5 and 7). We felt it was tired and emperors new clothes. Kids enjoyed it but no more than any other theme park/treat. They had more fun at Antwerp zoo.

Original poster

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 23:23

Lynette that's it exactly.

I'm pretty sure her BF has met her DD. They're moving in together next month so would presume so anyway. But that's not what this thread was about.

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 18/01/2016 23:27

Just to add to my prior post. There is NO WAY in hell that I'd pay for a trip anywhere for someone I'd only been seeing 3 months. Buy them dinner, sure, but fork over cash for a holiday? Nope, not after 3 months.

AcrossthePond55 · 18/01/2016 23:30

Wait, WHAT? She's moving her child in with someone she's only known 3 months? Oh HELL no.

NinaSimoneful · 18/01/2016 23:44

I would have loved to go to Disney with a boyfriend in pre-kid days. Now that I'm married with kids I wouldn't go and leave DC behind.

Original poster

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 23:45

across you don't have to tell me - I've been a single mum for 10-ish years and my kids have never met any of my friends with benefits dates.

OP posts:

ColdTeaAgain · 19/01/2016 00:06

So she paid for a disney holiday and took her new boyfriend instead of her own daughter who would of loved it plus he is already moving in very soon.
Yep, my judgey pants would be pulled right up as well as feeling quite worried for the little girl.

AcrossthePond55 · 19/01/2016 00:17

Clueing I just hope this little girl has close family members to keep an eye out for her. Sounds as if her mum has a screw loose, or likes a loose screw. Whatever.

Sounds as if she really could use a Disney trip, bless her.

Oldandfallingtobits · 19/01/2016 13:17

My ex husband went a two week holiday which included Disney world with his girlfriend, this was the man that could afford nothing for his 12 & 13 years old ! But they did bring them back a teeshirt each !!! needless to say 10 years on neither of my kids speak to him or her ! I would judge massively !!

Damselindestress · 19/01/2016 20:05

It's going to do nothing for family harmony to take the new boyfriend on a fun holiday to Disney instead of her DD shortly before moving him in after only a few months of dating! I wouldn't like to break that to a 5 year old! Moving a partner into the family home is always a difficult transition but this woman is setting up tension from the start by handling it badly.

Andthentherewasmum · 19/01/2016 20:25

Sounds like she is setting up a lot of resentment for the new boyfriend in the future. Not a wise move.

I personally think there's no problem with a couple going away for a break on their own. But to go somewhere like Disney without including the daughter is sending a very powerful message to the little girl. We don't care how you feel our enjoyment is more important. That's really a horrible way to behave and as a mum there's no way I could do that to my child.

BTW I love Disney! Took our little boy there when he was a baby. Okay so I was using him as an excuse to go but it was brilliant! We went at Christmas and it was magical. I had such a lump in my throat seeing the castle lit up to songs from Frozen and all these little girls dressed up as Elsa singing at the top of their voices having the time of their lives. Plenty of 5 year olds there having a wonderful time!

RoboticSealpup · 19/01/2016 20:42

Wow, that's both weird and a bit cruel. Eurodisney is for children. Fine, if a childless couple want to go, but a parent of a five year old would surely just look at all the other kids having fun and think what their child was missing out on? Maybe she's trying to please her new boyfriend. Perhaps he didn't want to take her child on holiday.

RoboticSealpup · 19/01/2016 21:02

Oh... Except I just caught up with the fact that that she is paying for him ...

blackheartsgirl · 19/01/2016 21:05

My ex did this with his new girlfriend of 6 months, he came back and showed my then 6 and 10 year old the pictures on their next sleepover weekend with him. Kids were upset and he couldn't understand why. Twat

MissBattleaxe · 19/01/2016 21:10

What kind of git goes to Disney without their kids and then shows them the pictures?

In the case mentioned in the original OP the colleague is not only lying about where she is going ( Scotland! FGS), and therefore having to always keep it a secret, but she is clearly prioritizing the new man over her child. At three months in!

She will always have to pretend she has never been to Disney and if she does take her DD one day, she will have to pretend she doesn't know her away around and hasn't been before. What a crappy thing to do.

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