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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is horrible and selfish?

123 replies

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 18:06

Now I know it's none of my business. I know people parent different and have different ways of looking at things.

Now, I'm all for parents having time away from their kids, kids having quality time with their grandparents etc

BUT

If you were planning a kid free long weekend away, just you and your DP, would you choose to go to DISNEY?

Woman in work did. Has only been with her DP for 3 months. Left her 5 year old DD at home with her nan and went to the place most kids dream of going. Wasn't a case of no money as she paid for the holiday.

I just couldn't do it. Barcelona or Florence, yes I probably could. Eurodisney, no.

Am I being too sensitive? pulls up judgy pants

OP posts:

AcrossthePond55 · 18/01/2016 18:44

Actually, I'm one of those 'weirdos' . Let's not be too judgy, shall we?

I was raised near Disneyland (CA) and was actually there on opening day, a babe in arms. Growing up we went multiple times a year and it's a place of great happiness and wonderful memories to me. Although I live a 7 hour drive away now, we took our boys multiple times when they were young. And I still visit every year (at least once) for a week with my BFF. Don't knock a child free Disney vacation until you've tried it! There are plenty of things for adults to do.

Would I have planned a trip to Disneyland without my children when they were small? Probably not. But if someone had asked me specifically to go on an 'adults only' trip I would have leapt at the chance.

Alicewasinwonderland · 18/01/2016 18:45

YANBU, It sounds bizarre and incredibly selfish.

I don't even understand why you would want to go away without your 5 yo for a guy you barely know, but each to their own.

5 yo is the perfect age for Disney, when they still believe in magic, what a waste. (as long as you take a buggy!). Didn't she spend the entire time thinking how much her kid would have enjoyed it?

Sparklingbrook · 18/01/2016 18:45

That's really odd. But I don't see the attraction of Disney with DC or not. I have vowed never to bother to go again.

Bet you can't wait to see the photos OP. Mickey Mouse ears and all.

notmaryberry · 18/01/2016 18:45

I love Disney. Went before kids and on our honeymoon, but would never go without them now (until they've left home, then I'll go without them again - much cheaper!)

MiddleClassProblem · 18/01/2016 18:46

Horrible and selfish is very extreme.

I'd love to go to Disney child free as would DH but I think we would feel guilty. We were going to go just us before DD came alone.

MiddleClassProblem · 18/01/2016 18:46

Along not alone!

knobblyknee · 18/01/2016 18:46

Suggest she try Legoland next. Without the kid obviously.

Original poster

Clueing4looks · 18/01/2016 18:47

Her DD has not been before, no.

HP she lied to her DD and said she went to Scotland!

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 18/01/2016 18:48

Very odd when Eurodisney is a stones throw from Paris.

Very odd when they could have taken the DD.

I hope they don't tell the DD they went.

Bettercallsaul1 · 18/01/2016 18:50

Maybe they're just Disney parents?

ijustwannadance · 18/01/2016 18:59

I went to florida in my 20's with a friend. It was an amazing hol. I prefered Universal studios tbh but went out of season so no big queues for any rides. I wouldn't take DD until old enough to go on all the big rides with me as her dad is a wimp who goes on nothing.
We took her to EuroDisney last year, age 4, for a few days. She loved it but I was surprised how small it was. Lots of child free couples about though. Not somewhere I would go childfree there, not worth the money. To me, child free breaks are preferably away from all children, not just my own.

Nataleejah · 18/01/2016 19:01

Maybe better to leave kids at grandparents, than be THOSE parents who hide babies in backpacks

SuperCee7 · 18/01/2016 19:09

I know two couples who honeymooned there. Definitely not my cup of tea

LittleBeautyBelle · 18/01/2016 19:09

I think it's weird. Going to Disney with your new boyfriend and leaving your five year old at home? Disney is made for five year olds. Strange place to choose for a romantic getaway, especially when there's a five year old child in the picture that's being left at home. Bizarre.

Sparklingbrook · 18/01/2016 19:10

Honeymoon at Disney? Although I bet they do weddings too.

NeckingtheNightNurse · 18/01/2016 19:12

I think it would be a bit mean if she has not all ready taken her child and goes without her child. But if she is someone that loves Disney some people visit a fair bit then it's not too bad to have a separate visits. I love theme parks but hated the magic kingdom in Paris and Florida because of the crowds. Hopefully her child had not been told she is going because that would be extra mean !

MargaretCabbage · 18/01/2016 19:12

I don't think it's weird that adults would go to Disney.

But if I was that five year old I would be heartbroken that my mom went (with her new boyfriend!) without me. It seems mean to me.

LittleBeautyBelle · 18/01/2016 19:12

It's not so much they want to go to Disney, but that they want to leave the five year old child at home. My dh and I went to Disney before we had ds, but I couldn't imagine going to such a kid centric place without dc once I'd had dc. Weird!

OohMavis · 18/01/2016 19:15

Well I think it's fucking harsh, actually, though I see I'm in the minority.

Let's think this through. You have the obscene amount of money it takes to go to Disneyland.

Do you;
a) take the child you have loved and cared for for the past five years, who you know would absolutely LOVE to go and would create wonderful, lasting childhood memories for.
b) take your boyfriend of three months and leave aforementioned child behind.

So harsh.

wonderingsoul · 18/01/2016 19:27

1 couldn't go to Disney land and not take my children. D's are 7 and 10 and they both really want to go to.

How ever going away with kids is not a problem imo long as it's not every week etc.end

Me and bf are celebrating our first year aniversery together next Sunday and shock horror. . My boys are staying at there v much loved grandparents for the day and night so we can go London and do London dugons, sea life centre London eye and madam tusourds and staying over night.

Boys don't see there dad, and we do a lot of family outings so if people want to call me selfish for going away and getting some adult time for short break I couldn't give to fucks.

cantgonofurther · 18/01/2016 19:38

If the dc has never been before it is cruel.

I would have no problem going without my dc however I am a disney fan. My dc have been plenty of times. I would only go without them if they were doing something else so we were going to be child free anyway.
I wouldn't meet characters without my dc though as even I think that adults talking to mickey mouse like he is real is weird.
My dc have been to Paris too. If I was visiting a city, paris wouldn't actually be my first choice, with children or without.

OllyBJolly · 18/01/2016 19:40

Well - you know what....

IME, there are more unhappy, miserable, grumpy kids per square yard in Disney than anywhere else I've been. Adults push them around following some military like plan, make them stand in ridiculous queues (60 minute wait for a 2 minute ride is usual), usually too hot, poor food... I don't think it's a great place for kids at all, especially young kids. I do see lots of adults "living the dream". I'm with Tomato - it's odd.

Sounds like a single parent. Might not have had any respite for a long time. (Not rtft). The child will have a great time with GPs. Good luck to her.

(but I would say this isn't a DP, but a BF if it's 3 months. Not that this matters)

HPsauciness · 18/01/2016 19:42

She obviously knows it is the wrong thing to have done, or she wouldn't have lied about it to her child!

MiddleClassProblem · 18/01/2016 19:43

Maybe she said "I always wished to go to Disneyland as a kid but we could never afford it" and BF took here but hasn't met the kid yet

Maybe BF was going to go to Disneyland as a kid but his dad died and they never went so she took him.

Maybe they both love Disney

NotMeNotYouNotAnyone · 18/01/2016 19:43

I don't think it's weird for adults to go to Disney. But to go without her child who would've loved it, that's weird!

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