Wibu to 'forget' dh's food ?

[IamSantaClaus]

Dh and I have a bit of a battle with the heating in our house . I have inflammatory arthritis and tend to be more sore when it's cold. I also take beta blockers which make my hands and feet cold.

I had started setting the heat to come on at 5am so everybody isn't getting up in the freezing cold . I asked dh to set it last night and he just didn't ( deliberately ) dcs and I are now freezing.

It's a bit of a silly thing to be annoyed about but it has really annoyed me . The house takes forever to heat up.

Wibu to 'forget' the food dh likes when I do the food shopping today? Too petty?

I felt very bad for you reading this thread. I hope your talk goes well. Is it possible he has money worries that he hasn't shared with you? If he is otherwise good it's very strange that he's cruel in this one regard.

I'm afraid I do see it as quite cruel which is why I hope there is some "explanation" for you why he acts like this. I have similar health issues (including Reynauds) so I like to be warm. For comparison for you (and I don't want to be insensitive but maybe you could share this with your DH) I keep finding DH turning the thermostat up to 26 (and we do have money worries!) and he will often come over and feel my hands to make sure I'm warm and offer blankets etc. I also get a hot drink in bed in the morning before I get up.

One practical thing that really helps is microwave slippers, if you haven't got any they are wonderful . About £15 on Amazon, worth every penny! Also electric blanket and hot drink before going out/getting up. On my worst days I wear hat and gloves all day.

I hope your talk goes well and things improve. Cold fingers are crossed for you.

I have an apology ! Thanks everyone .

He often gets quite stressed about money so I think that is the problem . No money worries as such just a bit of stress. Microwave slippers sound fantastic

An apology that comes with a clear agreement that the heating comes on at 5 every morning from now on?

We've settled on 6 and a hot water bottle

Sounds like the timer wouldn't make a difference as the horrible man would just turn it off. YWNBU but talk to him first. Make him justify his desire to turn the heating off and therefore over riding the timer -why?- is more important than your health.

What was it set to this morning OP?

So you suffer so he gets to feel he is still in charge .

Will it be warm enough then?

A hot water bottle at 5am?

No at 6 , he's usually up around then anyway , he's not in charge . I wanted 5 am he wanted nothing in the morning , we settled on 6 . I'm
Happy to compromise I'm just not happy being frozen in the morning

I'm surprised your house takes 2 hours to heat up. Our timer comes on for 15 minutes before we get up. I like being cool whilst in bed. 1 hour before you get up seems more sensible but agree if you're fussy about timings you do it yourself.

Half an hour isn't long for a house to warm up (if you're up at 6:30). I'd have stuck to my guns if I was you!

Thanks conundrum

He's a bit daft though isn't he, I mean you get a bad flare up and it means GP costs wouldn't it? Unless your health insurance covers of course.

He's very 1980s dad isn't he - does he turn back during a car journey to check the emersion is off?

I've got one of these www.tado.com - you can rent it and install it yourself, then it runs the hearing off your smartphone and when it detects nobody is home it turns the heating down automatically. Has saved us loads of money, and you can turn the heating up or down from bed/work/the pub.

I'm in the north so we don't have gp costs but yeh it does mean a trip to the consultant .

Leaving the emersion on?? That's a cardinal sin . I think he'd fly home from holiday to turn that off

It's definitely very important to compromise when your health and comfort is at stake.

A man with children who doesn't want the house warmed up in winter before they get up is a bit of a cock before you even get to the sick wife situation.

What kind of a father thinks his family should be cold because he prefers the hearing off?

Seriously.

My Dad is a generation older Irish heat dodger, and he'd have a thing or two to say about a man like that.

I'm often frozen in the day. DH immediately tells me to turn the heating up. He would never want me to be cold to try and save pounds never mind pennies. And he is in charge as you haven't got what you want. Who is making the 5am hot water bottle?

This reminds me of the Bernard Manning gag [might not be Manning, I heard Noel Gallagher tell it - paraphrasing]...

Husband 'I'm going down the pub, get your coat on'

Wife [excited] 'Ooh - lovely'

Husband 'No not you - I'm turning the heating off'.

Wife

I'm glad he has apologised. Obviously you don't have to say but do you receive any PIP/DLA? Money is very tight here so I worry about the heating bills (which are large) but DH takes the view that this is exactly the type of thing the PIP is there to assist with. You could raise this if you get PIP - although you shouldn't really be having to "persuade" someone to heat the house for someone with arthritis. Personally I find it hard to imagine how he can justify his behaviour here. I don't think you're being in the least unreasonable and you shouldn't have to "compromise" on your health.

I would definitely get the microwave slippers, honestly they're one of the best things I've bought! I'll see if I can post a link.

Hm I'm
Going to leave this thread here. My dh is not a monster . He has apologised and things have been sorted out.

Cross post op. I hope you're ok and that you see this - I found an offer on them too

http://www.findmeagift.co.uk/gifts/ruby-wine-cosy-boots.html?gclid=CM3e-tL8ssoCFRFmGwodXU0Gww

I have been working from home for around 15 years now. I have a rule that I don't put the heating on until 3. When my OH is here, I try and instigate my rule but he turns the heating on when he gets cold. And he tells me to put it on if I want when I am here, but I think that having it on means I'll do less work to keep warm...it encourages me to move about.

But I do not have a condition that causes me pain if I am cold...

I cannot believe that he is so stingy that his wife and kids have to get up in the freezing cold - that is particularly nasty.

Don't go yet!!

Watch this first