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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To make nanny and DC travel economy?

724 replies

BooAvenue · 17/01/2016 19:10

We are planning a trip to NY in the autumn and plan to take nanny, DD who will be 6 and DS who will be 16 months.

DH and I will be flying business, partially because I am a crap flyer despite flying frequently and partly because we have quite a lot of air miles that we want to make the most of.

The plan is to bring nanny on the 5 day trip so she can help out with the travelling and babysit for us on three of the nights. I've discussed it with her and she's very eager to come, and the plan is she will have 2 days and 2 evenings completely free to do as she pleases, plus TOIL of 6 days. We will of course pay for all hotels/flights/meals out and she's welcome to join in with us on her days off if she wishes. She also gets her own room whilst we have a 2 bed family room.

The difference between economy and club is about 2.5k per ticket, which whilst we are not poor is still a fair chunk of money.

So AIBU to fly business whilst she flies economy? And will DS need his own seat or will he need to go on one of our laps?

OP posts:
FishWithABicycle · 17/01/2016 21:34

Yanbu to have the kids + nanny in economy but definitely buy the toddler a seat.

Pay the extra to book three seats together for them.

If possible, get your dh to swap seats with her for 30 mins in the middle of the flight to give her a short rest and a taste of the high life and your kids a bit of parental attention.

neonrainbow · 17/01/2016 21:34

Wow load of jealous posters! I cant imagine ever earning enough to have a nanny but whats the nanny there for if not to look after the kids?!

AnthonyBlanche · 17/01/2016 21:34

rose you come across as irrationally angry and bothered about the OP's childcare arrangements which you know nothing about other than the fact she has a nanny because she works 4 days a week and has a husband who works away for long periods.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 21:35

Its not about jealousy at all, its about upper class weird shit Grin

SilverOldie2 · 17/01/2016 21:35

Providing the nanny is happy to do this, I don't see a problem. There's so much inverted snobbery as usual on here OP - ignore and have a great holiday.

Sidalee7 · 17/01/2016 21:37

YANBU booking the nanny an economy seat, but two kids would be quite a lot to deal with.

Maybe have the baby with you as they don't need their own seat, and the nanny have your daughter?

stealthbanana · 17/01/2016 21:37

Yes I'd do that in a second. Club class is wasted on the young with their little legs.

Give her a voucher for a nice massage when you're in NYC (cowshed or something like that). Also, if you can book day flights that will be much easier.

Business class is definitely not just for people on business! MNers have some very odd views sometimes.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 21:37

Anthony

I don't really need to justify my posts to you.

The OP was thinking she needed to decide whether she should be a bit better than even her kids. Grin

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 21:38

you win then. you carry on thinking in that way.

PandasRock · 17/01/2016 21:38

I certainly don't pay my nanny less than I pay my cleaner.

She's not even full time, yet she takes home (so, for clarification, after tax) over £25,000 annually.

Why all the chippiness? It isn't news that some families employ nannies. The majority (I think) of nanny employers on his thread have suggested ways to make the arrangement better for the nanny.

MrsDeVere · 17/01/2016 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

neonrainbow · 17/01/2016 21:39

What is this about the nanny being happy to do it? Thats what she is there for! Its her job!

AnthonyBlanche · 17/01/2016 21:39

Times have moved on rose, lots of people have nannies these days not just the traditional upper classes. All the people I know who've had nannies have been working parents,, just like the OP.

floooOoooatyfloooOooo · 17/01/2016 21:39

I can't say what I'd like to say as I'd be deleted. And my mother taught me if you can't say anything nice...

Business, economy, bloody cockpit, is not the matter.
Yabu to expect your Nanny to look after YOUR two young children who haven't flown before in their memory, for SEVEN hours on a plane, alone. Fuck that. It's not quite comparable to the school run/walk to park/shopping/whatever is it?

Writerwannabe83 · 17/01/2016 21:40

..."but whats the nanny there for if not to look after the kids?!"

And there I was thinking that was a parents role.....

PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/01/2016 21:40

So torn about this! I was expecting to come on, all guns blazing, telling you to stop being a dick. However, I honestly think an all expenses trip to NY Sounds amazing for your nanny. I'm a bit Hmm at leaving her with the two kids though. Perhaps discuss it with her? Obviously she's getting a free trip but it is your decision to take the kids and wanting her along, so that aspect sounds mean.

Have to say though, I'm fully Hmm at holidaying without the children usually. That's a different matter though...

RainOhJoyus · 17/01/2016 21:41

OP just do it.
Children love the nanny, nanny happy with a trip away.
But please book them 3 seats in economy, yes she'll need toddler on lap for take off, but it gives them an entire row and with arm rests up more space to okay/sleep. I.e. Can sleep across 2 seats and one be playing on the floor.

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 21:41

This poster hasn't.

Nor has most according to your answers Grin

rosewithoutthorns · 17/01/2016 21:42

I personally would want to look after my own child.

universallyhated · 17/01/2016 21:42

I wouldn't take the Nanny if we employed one, it's a family holiday and so I'd want to spend time with the children rather taking a Nanny to babysit.

LaurieMarlow · 17/01/2016 21:43

Think it's a bit much to ask her to manage both children while you get to switch off in comparative luxury.

A fairer solution would be taking the baby in business class with you.

SushiAndTheBanshees · 17/01/2016 21:43

Ignoring the brouhaha (haven't even bothered RTFT but I'm sure there's eye rolling galore): I think you would do better to buy 16mo a seat in economy (80% of fare but full taxes and fees so only marginally cheaper than full fare), and putting nanny, 16mo and 6yo in their own 3-seat section in economy on the plane. 16mo on lap would be awful, whosever lap it is. Wouldn't do that to my nanny for any flight longer than a couple of hours.

I've flown business, first and coach with small DCs. There's absolutely no point putting DCs anywhere other than coach - other passengers stress you out which children behave like children and fidget/ make noise etc, kids don't need the extr space, and in your own 3-seat section with screens and NOT bulkhead (so arm rests go up) there's actually plenty of space and privacy and freedom to deal with the 16mo (6yo will be fine). More than in other classes, almost.

Nanny is getting paid to do a job, this is part of the job. If she doesn't want to do it I would totally accept that and not hold it against her (she may not enjoy flying, especially with kids and having to contend with jet lag, it'll be a tougher week for her than usual). I would also go and see the kids only once or twice if necessary, any more than that could be more unsettling than anything else.

Finally, go overnight where you can (on the way back). Will make life a whole lot easier for everyone.

ImperialBlether · 17/01/2016 21:43

This is my favourite sort of thread!

The OP lights a firework and stands back to watch the responses.

Love the touch about the husband being away for three months so wants to sit separately from the children.

TendonQueen · 17/01/2016 21:45

TOIL is time off in lieu, for whoever asked..

The one thing that's a clear point of agreement here is that the toddler going on a lap in economy is not on. He will need his own seat at least.

Only1scoop · 17/01/2016 21:46

Thanks tendon