To feel this was a reasonable punishment for DS 16?

[needastrongone]

Here is what happened.

DS and his mates, usually a good, solid, sensible bunch of lads went out today to mess about in the snow. I am not sure how many of his mates were there, as I was out, and which exactly of his mates were involved as he refuses to say and grass folk up.

Anyway, they saw fit to run into someone's front garden and kick over the snowmen that the kids had made. To put absolutely correct, DS and 2 other mates stood on the drive and laughed and did not do the kicking, but I see no difference as he was involved and did not try to stop the action.

We live in a village, god knows how they thought they would get away with it. Anyway, I've found out. I'm pissed off that he thought it was ok to trespass and destroy someone elses property and upset some kids. I've told him this, but haven't ranted and raved.

He has been round to the house and apologised to the family in question for his part. He's also had his gadgets confiscated for the week. The two other parents who had DS's that stood and watched have done exactly the same, although this is coincidence, not something we agreed. I don't know about the other parents, I am not sure who else was involved.

Do you guys think this is reasonable? He's a generally good, solid kid, I promise!

[Waffles80]

I bet Shakespeare was an utter knob. Probably howled the Globe down if the candles weren't proper beeswax and his ale wasn't ice-box cold.

Doesn't make his plays rubbish, though, does it?

People only ever use the "but they're really stroppy and demanding" and "my mate's aunt's cousin met them at Hay and said they were just vile line" to undermine successful women.

Don't care if she's rude, stroppy or demanding. She wrote Oppenheim's Cup and Saucer which is beyond genius

[Lauren15]

I would have made him do something nice for the children he's upset.

[Hihohoho1]

Sounds fine to me. He's 16! Most boys of 16 are knobs. Mine were but lovely now.

Kicking a snowman over was silly but hardly major crime.

[Babyroobs]

I have a 16 year old ds and think this sounds reasonable. He has apologised. My ds went to an away football match last week and as him and his mates had time to kill before the match they went into a local supermarket and started kicking a football around and ended up getting chucked out of the store. he thought it was funny but I was fuming. Just making a point that , at that age when they are with their mates they get carried away and do stupid things without thinking of the consequences.

[Hihohoho1]

Heart sore on a par with a child's joy from a thread earlier in the week.

People he laughed at a mate kicking a snowman. It's not on the par with laughing as his mate kicked granny.

Ffs.

[Birdsgottafly]

The most important bit was talking about how the children would be feeling, which you did OP.

Teen Lads do egg each other on to do stupid stuff, it's good, in a way that there's been an incident that hasn't been dangerous to anyone, so you can talk about it and the Lads can think before they act again.

They're all old enough to start going camping etc on their own and some of the stuff that Teen Lads get up to can land then with a permanent conviction (or as the Superglue girls showed, even girls), but also life threatening/permanently disabling, accidents can happen.

Stupid 'accidents'/ actions are the biggest threat/killer of Teen-25 year old young men.

[Lauren15]

I have a 16 year old ds and he's done some stupid shit in the last year or so but never anything mean or unkind. I'd be very upset at that behaviour. When my dcs were little some teenagers wrecked their snowman and they were really sad that people could be so thoughtless.

[Owllady]

I think maybe people saying he is 16 may not have one themselves
Mine got put in isolation at school last week for something quite similar, though he swears blind he wasn't laughing (or filming) said incident but was talking to a friend on skype
I took his Xbox, tablet and laptop for 2 days
Then I got fed up of him following me around and sitting in the lounge with me talking about football transfers and God knows what else :o

[needastrongone]

What exactly would you suggest he does Lauren, given that he has apologised in person and the family in question have accepted this and moved on and wish to draw a line under the matter?

What has your sons behaviour got to do with mine, other than to suggest your son is somehow less mean or unkind than mine?

Like I have said, we have discussed the unkindness of the act, he has apologised. The family have left it there, and so am I.

Owl

[Tamponlady]

Sorry you did right op what if his friends choose to do somthing against the law and he stands and laugh we have joint enterprises in the uk it's a good lesson in nit being a lemming

[Lauren15]

If you're so satisfied with how you dealt with it Op why did you start a thread about it? . I shouldn't be surprised. Lots of people start threads in AIBU just to hear that they are right.

[Lauren15]

And I brought my ds into it to show that I have an idea of how stupid 16 year old boys are and how they can be influenced by their friends.

[needastrongone]

Having read the thread and taken on board the comments made, I felt that there was a lot of validity with reference to the confiscation of DS's gadgets. Useful advice, and DS has his gadgets back. I probably didn't make the right call there, and was glad the posters suggested returning them. I mentioned that up thread.

I don't think I have been at all defensive, certainly not compared to some threads I read, so we will agree to differ I guess.

Thanks for all the contributions.

[Hihohoho1]

Look if the op posted that the teenagers had kicked the snow and head in whole there were crying toddlers pleading with them to stop then yes that would be cruel and nasty.

There weren't were there.

I an guessing this response is divided slightly between mums of toddlers and teenagers.

Seriously some 16 year old boys have similar traits to 6 year old boys.

16 isn't an adult and most develop massively by 18, thank god.