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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think work can't expect me to come in

151 replies

Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 17:33

Basicly my Ds has just come out in chicken pox
I have never had them even as a child. At work my collegue is pregnant and has never had them.
I am on probation as just started the job. I had to take a week off for a kidney infection earlier and have been warned about my absence. My overall boss has been great but we have trustees who are a stickler for the rules etc.
What the hell happens now, i can't go in and potential infect a pregnant lady but how would this be recorded. I am not ill. Any advice or has anyone been in this position.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 17:51

They are not big enough to have an occ health or a HR department.
Hmm over dramatic- maybe but I have seen many women on here called names and called selfish for potentially exposing a pregnant lady or someone with a low immune system to chicken pox. I least I am trying to think of the best way forward

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 17/01/2016 17:52

The best way forward for you is unlikely to be you deciding to stay at home.

AlwaysHopeful1 · 17/01/2016 17:53

The best way forward is to let your employer decide, not what some random people have said on mn. You are on probation, not the time to be making bolshy decisions on your own like this.

ThatIsNachoCheese · 17/01/2016 17:53

Ask for a weeks annual leave op and explain the situation, they can decide what to do after your weeks leave

ENormaSnob · 17/01/2016 17:53

Go to work.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 17/01/2016 17:53

I'm an employer, I would be removing the pregnant staff member from the risk

ghostyslovesheep · 17/01/2016 17:53

It's very very rare for women to catch it in PG and even rarer for their to be complications

She is aware - she needs to make a choice - she can LEGALLY do that

You will loose your job - or random strangers on MN might think badly of you Hmm

Jojay · 17/01/2016 17:53

You've informed the pg colleague and your boss.

You're not ill.

You should go to work.

Pg lady can decide for herself whether she should be at work or not.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 17:53

I have not said I am staying off I have asked my manager what the best course of action would be and let her decide. I don't want to get out work I love my job and am already in line for a promotion.
And yes I should think my boss does not give a dam about the advice on mumsnet but this is also NHS advice

OP posts:
TamaraLamara · 17/01/2016 17:54

So I may have the choice of losing my job or going in and potentially infecting a pregnant lady

That's a bit melodramatic. As many others have pointed out, the preferred solution may be for your pregnant colleague to work from home.

Given that your work-force is so small, if you're off that's 25% of your team missing, on the basis that you might infect someone who may actually be immune anyway.

I can see why your work would take a dim view of that on the heels of another recent absence.

ilovesooty · 17/01/2016 17:54

By the way, I'm management chair of a small charity with trustees. If you worked in my office I'd take advice but if there were to be a risk to your colleague I'd tell her to work from home and you to come into work.

RideEmCowgirl · 17/01/2016 17:54

I agree that you should still go to work and she has to be the one who decides what she wishes to do. You are not ill and can not stay home just in case.

What happens with the next virus that your child may get eg slapped cheek.....would you stay off just incase for that too?

fastdaytears · 17/01/2016 17:55

You've done everything you can. The PG lady might be asked not to come in or might work from home or something. You need to go in unless you're asked not to. Good that your DH can take leave.

redexpat · 17/01/2016 17:55

Youre very considerate if nothing else. But I dont think this is your call. Go to work and go straight to your manager. Let them decide.

JohnLuther · 17/01/2016 17:55

You need to go in, your manager can decide what to do after speaking to the pregnant colleague.

Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 17:55

Sorry the title should have been "what should I do" rather the the title I gave. I understand how that looks like i am going for a few weeks off work and I apologise

OP posts:
Original poster
Dollymixtureyumyum · 17/01/2016 17:57

Sorry I was panicking. Of course I am not going to phone up and say I am not going in. I have thrown the ball in their court and they can decide

OP posts:
EdithWeston · 17/01/2016 17:57

"but I have seen many women on here called names and called selfish for potentially exposing a pregnant lady or someone with a low immune system to chicken pox"

If you know you are infectious, then I can see why there might be a bit of name calling.

But you do not know yourself to be infectious.

There is, I repeat, no requirement to quarantine in these circumstances and your employer will would be entirely correct if they did not accept an absence for it other than annual leave or some form of unpaid leave.

If you do decide to quarantine yourself, that means staying at home for a full three weeks after the last day your DS is infectious. So as he's 'just' come down with it, you'd better allow for four weeks.

MuttonDressedAsMutton · 17/01/2016 17:58

You've been warned about absence but you're already in line for promotion? Wow. Shock

Just go to work. It's not your call to make.

TracyBarlow · 17/01/2016 17:58

Many, many people are walking around all day, everywhere, incubating the chicken pox virus. There's no way you can not go into work because you might not be immune to chicken pox so you might be incubating it and then might pass it on to someone who is pregnant who might not be immune herself and then might develop CP which then might harm her unborn child.

Six people in my son's class had CP before the Christmas break. Of the remaining children in the class, there are at least 8 who have not had it and have not caught it, despite close contact with the other kids.

You've done the right thing warning her, but it's up to her if she wants to not go in, not you.

eatingworms · 17/01/2016 17:58

You've done the right thing by telling your pregnant colleague, it's up to her now whether or not she wants to come to work. You should go to work as normal IMO.

expatinscotland · 17/01/2016 17:58

Go to work.

MatildaTheCat · 17/01/2016 17:58

I used to work as an antenatal midwife and this came up all the time.

Any pregnant woman can call the antenatal department and check this. A sample of her booking bloods is held in the lab and can be checked within an hour or so. The vast majority of people who swear they've never had CP have, in fact been infected at some point because they are immune. It can be a very mild infection for some.

So you will have to go to work. Ask your colleague to check her status. If she is not immune you could have a blood test to check your status. There's a very high chance that one of you will be immune already.

StealthPolarBear · 17/01/2016 17:59

Apparently most adults who haven't had it are immune anyway

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 17/01/2016 17:59

Pregnant people and the immunocompromised shouldn't be exposed to chicken pox - I am one of the second group. I would be the one allowed to make other arrangements to prevent risk, though, and the same is true of your colleague. If you pose a risk to her, she will be able to stay home/work from elsewhere. The legal protection is on her side.

If you don't go to work, you will likely fail probation. You are not ill, and as such, the NHS quarantine advice doesn't apply to you.

Be careful that your email doesn't look like you want your manager to say you should stay home - it'll either look like you don't have childcare or you are workshy, which is a problem on probation.

It sucks that it's worked out like this, but you have to go in. You've done your part by telling your colleague.