To think my colleague is being a bit precious about people coming into work when they're not well?

[Cerseirys]

I'll start by saying that I hate it when people who are clearly ill come into work and infect everyone else. However, sometimes people will have a cold or cough that lingers, and it isn't really practical for them to stay at home for weeks on end.

However my colleague, who is about 20 weeks pregnant, has been getting quite confrontational with people who cough or sneeze, telling them they should go home as she can't afford to get sick because she can't take any medication. This would be fair enough if these people were severely ill with flu, for example, but I think that in the case of a run of the mill cough or cold, if they feel well enough to come to work after a few days at home, then it's up to them to make that decision.

For example, one colleague had taken a day or two off with a sore throat but came in on the third day, even though he wasn't completely 100% better, as he had a very important meeting that he couldn't move. She even had a go at me the other day when I had a sneezing fit, although that was down to allergies and not a cold!

Said pregnant colleague has also refused to get the flu jab and says she'll be turning down the whooping cough vaccine too because none of her friends with kids had them and they never contracted either illness. So is she BU to give people a hard time over coughing or sneezing at work?

You don't know the full background to your colleague. Maybe she has had previous pregnancy losses or maybe struggled to conceive. Perhaps she is pregnant through IVF and feels this might be her only chance to become a mum.

No, no and no. I know that she's been with her partner about 14-15 months but they've only been trying for a baby since the summer. And no previous losses or use of IVF. She's always been a bit like this re illness but has taken it to new extremes lately!

OP sounds like she has health anxiety.

And how would you know if she'd had previous MC?

I don't think it's up to the OP to know about any background or history of health anxiety.

A manager needs to discuss any support needs while addressing her inappropriate behaviour you her colleagues.

*I didn't vaccinate while pregnant either. I still didn't want people coughing on me.

Who said people are coughing on her?

OP YANBU. She is being way OTT and quite frankly ridiculous.

I wonder how OP's colleague will deal with P+Toddler groups or other people's snotty brats at nursery.

I wonder how OP's colleague will deal with P+Toddler groups or other people's snotty brats at nursery.

Wrap PFB in cottonwool

Yanbu

Although a couple of weeks ago I had to spend the day sitting between two ill colleagues (full on snot/ temperatures/ hacking coughs) and by lunchtime I was feeling ill also .

I can't have the whooping cough vaccine. I was very antsy until my children were immunised. I really do not understand the mentality of fools who refuse to arm themselves on the say so of equally air headed friends.

Procrastinator I have a fear of injections and I also have had strange reactions to medications in the past, including hallucinations bought on by an injection. For this reason I didn't want any injections, although I had to have steroids anaesthetic and blood thinners in the end (i had to have a cesarean)

I wish people wouldn't paint those of us who don't want certain treatments as stupid. People have their own reasons.

Frankly if she's not planning to vaccinate against whooping cough, her baby's best chance may be if she isolates them from baby groups for a while.

DS was born during the last peak - we missed the opportunity to get vaccinated during pregnancy by a couple of months. Hearing about yet another tiny baby's death from pertussis almost every week was a fucking terrible way to spend his first two months. Not as terrible as for the parents of those 13 babies though. DS is 3.5 and the peaks tend to be every 3-5 years so not a good year to be a fuckwit, but it's her choice.

I would be inclined to gently suggest to her/her manager that it's probably a good time to review her workplace risk assessment with her manager. And that if she feels at risk, it's better to go and have a chat with her manager than approach people directly.

And my ds is vaccinated so I'm not anti vax, I just don't personally like having them because I react weirdly.

Crossposted, so feel I need to point out that TheCatsMeow, I definitely wasn't referring to you when I referred to fuckwits!

I assume she doesn't travel to work on public transport and wears a hazmat suit when she is in the supermarket or other public places.
She is bvu particularly if she is refusing vaccines for potentially serious illnesses.

Has anyone read my "on the bus" argument?

Cats I was referring to the reasoning for not vaccinating given by the OP's work colleague.

She is being unreasonable to not want to protect herself but expect everyoneelse to go to great lengths to. Having said that I'm with coffee on this - coming to work with anything more than a cold/cough etc is not fair.

I too have to take immunosuppressent medication and the amount of colleagues that come in with contagious illnesses because they only get SSP is really unfair. I understand it's a crap situation to not get decent sickpay (our company is quite generous so it's only if you've had a lot of time off anyway) but to come in knowingly with S and D or some other equally awful lurgi is not on to those who are vunerable.

friend caught whooping cough from her toddler, it was horrendous. She would randomly throw up after a coughing fits - weeks after she had gotten over the worse - she was off work for a month

Cats - there are of course valid reasons why some people might choose not to get vaccinated.

But the reason given in the OP - "because none of her friends with kids had them and they never contracted either illness" - sounds like a very silly reason not to have a vaccination.

I always think someone might not disclose the real reason. If she's scared of injections she might feel embarrassed or she might be like me and have strange reactions and just not want to tell anyone.

Whenever I've mentioned it people come up with weird theories for it lol. I even reacted to the blood thinners and the hospital was really confused.

Anyone who refuses the whooping cough vaccine is a fucking idiot in my book. When my friend's daughter was in hospital after an accident I spent a lot of time there supporting her, and there was a little baby boy in the bed next to her. The little boy died, and the sound of his coughing is something which I will never be able to forget.

CatsMeow I have a needle phobia but as I am a grown up and about to bring a child into the world I put it aside for the sake of my unborn baby's health.

tappitytaptap that's the kind of bullshit I'm talking about. "Well I got over it so everyone else should". It's ridiculous and ignorant.

In my case injections have made me borderline psychotic, I hallucinate and I've almost wondered into a road because I have no idea what's going on. They don't know why that happens, no one can work it out. It seems to be the fact something is going in as blood tests don't do it although they frighten me.

So I made the grown up decision that I didn't want to risk having that sort of reaction while pregnant. Stop being judgemental

There is a WHooping cough outbreak in Surrey currently

If your colleague cannot deal with normal office bugs, then she should take early maternity leave and stay home.

I think you should get some professional help with that. It is not 'bullshit' at all...if you were seriously ill and needed e.g. a cannula you would die rather than have a needle?! You must see that it needs to be sorted, surely.