To think my colleague is being a bit precious about people coming into work when they're not well?

[Cerseirys]

I'll start by saying that I hate it when people who are clearly ill come into work and infect everyone else. However, sometimes people will have a cold or cough that lingers, and it isn't really practical for them to stay at home for weeks on end.

However my colleague, who is about 20 weeks pregnant, has been getting quite confrontational with people who cough or sneeze, telling them they should go home as she can't afford to get sick because she can't take any medication. This would be fair enough if these people were severely ill with flu, for example, but I think that in the case of a run of the mill cough or cold, if they feel well enough to come to work after a few days at home, then it's up to them to make that decision.

For example, one colleague had taken a day or two off with a sore throat but came in on the third day, even though he wasn't completely 100% better, as he had a very important meeting that he couldn't move. She even had a go at me the other day when I had a sneezing fit, although that was down to allergies and not a cold!

Said pregnant colleague has also refused to get the flu jab and says she'll be turning down the whooping cough vaccine too because none of her friends with kids had them and they never contracted either illness. So is she BU to give people a hard time over coughing or sneezing at work?

You can cough and sneeze without being actually Typhoid Mary.

I'd go on with listing symptoms from now to the birth

Ridiculous. When you have young children in daycare or preschool, the first several years it seems to be that they give you a cold every 3 weeks or so!

And coughs can linger like you say.

Her career will be over if she practices what she preaches once her baby is born and maybe goes into nursery or whatever. Geez!

Her stance would only be logical if she never, never goes out in public, as she can't dictate that people with colds don't go out to the shops.

She sounds like a grade-A dick.

Maybe if she got the fucking flu vaccine she wouldn't have half the worry of getting ill to begin with

I think some of the comments on here about your colleague are harsh. Your colleague is clearly worried about becoming ill and it affecting the baby. I was terrified during my pregnancy of any harm coming to my unborn baby and got very anxious if I came into contact with anyone who is ill. You don't know the full background to your colleague. Maybe she has had previous pregnancy losses or maybe struggled to conceive. Perhaps she is pregnant through IVF and feels this might be her only chance to become a mum. Maybe she is suffering pre-natal depression which is making her particularly anxious. I think you should show compassion towards her.

If she's struggling she needs to talk to her manager not tell her colleagues how to manage their health. I'm fact if I worked with her I'd be referring her comments and attitude to a manager and asking that the manager talk to her.

Grunted going round the Co op knowing there's a chance someone in there will have a cold is not the same level of risk as sitting next to a colleague all day who is sneezing and coughing.
I'm not on this woman's side at all! Just arguing the "on the buses" argument that seems to come out on these threads

Yanbu... People who don't vaccinate themselves and their children

pregnant not invalid, yanbu

Do people really take routine meds for a cold, coz her grievance is she believes she can't??? I missed that memo. There were a few OTC meds I could take when pg (eg paracetomol, some others I'm sure).

She is being very unreasonable, and she is just going to have to deal with the fact that she can't control other people's sick days, but maybe she has some reason you don't know of to be particularly anxious about this pregnancy.

YANBU OP but I fear this is just the beginning... just wait till the baby is born! I guess everyone who wants to hold it will have to do so in a clean room. Very strange to not want to vaccinate.

Ah she's suffering from Worlds First Pregnancy syndrome coupled with a big dose of stupidity about the immunisations. She will get over the first eventually but the second is worrying.

YANBU, although I can understand where she's coming from. I got very anxious about that sort of thing when I was pregnant too. But it's simply unrealistic and unreasonable to expect people to confine themselves to their homes if they've got ordinary coughs and colds.

I agree that she's daft to refuse the flu and whooping cough vaccines. Her logic for refusing them sounds bizarre, and those illnesses would be much worse for her and her baby than an ordinary cough / cold would be.

Maybe she gets very ill when she has a cold? I do and I don't appreciate people coughing on me because my immune system is crap

I didn't vaccinate while pregnant either. I still didn't want people coughing on me.

When I was pregnant a colleague came to work saying child had chicken pox and he had shingles. Boss told him to go home as me another pregnant staff member were not happy. He refused and then his wife came in with chicken pox child after going to doctors to have lunch with him. Boss was cross and sent me and colleague home. It was Wednesday and he said go and I'll see you Monday.

I just wouldn't put up with a colleague being confrontational as she's being. I'd expect a manager to take this up and get it stopped.

If she's genuinely worried about getting ill and the risks of being ill when pregnant why the hell not have the flu jab and WC vaccine which are recommended

Anti-vaxxers being idiots, news at 11. YANBU at all to think that she's being a bit precious if she won't take steps that are freely available to her to help prevent illness.

Maybe she's anxious about vaccines? Maybe she has a phobia of needles/medical procedures? Maybe she's had the flu jab before and had a bad experience?

There are loads of reasons, I think she's being a bit dramatic but to have a go because she doesn't want to be vaccinated is unfair. I never vaccinated myself whilst pregnant for my own reasons

at your colleague Murphy

Well if she won't have the vaccine that's her choice but it makes the treatment of her colleagues even more unacceptable.

Before I started getting the flu vaccine each year (due to asthma) I would get a lot of sore throats. My GP told me that it's not a very contagious illness and I'd have to be regularly kissing all of my colleagues to pass it on. So if I was feeling like I could work when I got a sore throat (or, indeed, tonsillitis) then I'd go to work. None of my colleagues ever caught my bug.

I can understand being worried about illness when you're pregnant because it's even more horrible to have a cold then, but your colleague is definitely being a bit precious.

She's being over the top definitely but pregnancy is an anxious time for a lot of us

Yanbu. Her behaviour sounds awful. Who on earth confronts colleagues about this sort of thing? Maybe if a colleague came in with a tummy bug I might raise an eyebrow and steer well clear of them whether I was pregnant or not, but a cold? She sounds very OTT and I'm surprised nobody has reported her to a manager of she's going around randomly confronting people for coughing .

Dictating what her colleagues should do regarding minor illness such as a sore throat or cold is very unreasonable. Cp, shingles, d&v I would say are all reasoanble but not a common cold.

As for not immunising yourself and your unborn child with illnesses that could/would require a huge amount of medically invasive procedures and needles etc is stupid beyond words. Op says she has opted to not have vaccinations based on friends telling her they didn't have them so don't recommend them?! Ffs maybe these same friends told her colds and sore throats were dangerous in pregnancy.