What are people's thoughts regarding home education? I myself have strong feelings about it. Wondering if AIBU

[HomeEdwoes]

I have personal experience of HE. I went to primary school but didn't go to secondary school at all. I was home educated primarily by my mum during those years. While I don't think of it as abuse, I feel that I missed out on a crucially important part of life by not going to secondary. I view those years of my life as an empty space where school should be. I consider not going to secondary to be the biggest mistake of my life and feel it still affects me as an adult in my twenties. I very rarely discuss it with anyone as it's a very sensitive subject for me.

Though I am sure that there are plenty of HE children who are thriving, I do find myself questioning the motives of parents who do decide to HE. I can understand doing it if the child has special needs that a school would not be able to meet, but that didn't apply to me. I did not have any SN. Also, it concerns me that parents who HE are not required to inform their local authority of their decision, and LAs are not obligated to monitor HE children in their area. I feel that all parents who HE should be required to register as home educators, and they should also be subject to occasional inspections as schools are. I feel the current system allows children to fall completely off the radar, with no monitoring taking place to ensure they are receiving a suitable education. Can I ask what people's thoughts are about HE generally, and whether you agree or disagree with my points?

I did not particularly enjoy SS, just trudged through it without working as hard as I should and without making a wide circle of friends. I only met one home schooled person - and on the sample of one, think it is a very bad idea. He attended our maths class for a bit as his mum had reached the point where he had equalled her knowledge. The boys took the mickey out of him - he was totally oblivious - and then disaster happened when he tried to touch one of the girls as she brushed past him - the consensus being that his hormones got the better of him and a teenage breast was not something he was used to being near

Thinblueline - there are many ways to HE. Some people go in for autonomous education, others don't.

What was so bad about your experience op? I think you are generalising here

It's all about the experience and yours wasn't a good one. Look to your mother for answers

And believe me school isn't all that! Surely if you wanted to experience it you went to college, uni??

Most of the people I know who home ed at secondary have been through hell to get to that point. Many are on the autistic spectrum & have had a very difficult time at school - to the point of raging anxiety & mental health problems.

I tend to point the parents in the way of online schooling & for many it seems to work. Interhigh does arrange weekends & has online social activities - and for the kids I've pointed in that direction it has saved their mental health (which personally I think is more important than anything).

Mine are currently very happy in school, but if they were starting to disintegrate (& ds3 is quirky, not streetwise & about to start secondary) I wouldn't hesitate to HE.

devilish - and many don't have a clue.

Is this your experience thinblueline? It's not been mine, the people I've met who home ed are fairly boringly rigorous about it (mind you I live in an area with a wide choice of alternative schools).

I know many home educators. Most are "rigorous" when it comes to what they see as important stuff to know- crafts, the arts, arithmetic. Science is usually skimmed over, except dinosaurs and astronomy.

I would not hesitate to HE if my child has SN or an unresolvable social problem. I don't think it can ever be a first choice.

Millions of children across the world would love the chance of the free education we have in this country. I see HE as very self indulgent.

Registration could hurt, just think how much teachers complain about the box ticking and paperwork they have to do that interferes with the teaching they want to do.

My DM was an Education Welfare Officer for many years specialising in HE.

For many, it's a perfect solution. Special needs, culture, certain either short or long term circumstances. Many of the people my DM visited were doing a great job in difficult circumstances.

Why were you HE'd?

A genuine question about HE at secondary level. How do HE parents ensure that their children get the breadth and depth of subjects needed for them to make decisions about which career they want to pursue? I'm a secondary teacher myself, and good at my particular subject. However, if I had a child who wanted to be a doctor, there's no way I'd have the ability to teach Chemistry up to the A* standard required for medical school.

My worry is that home ed would pigeonhole children's future careers into the parents own interests. So, if the parents are good at arty things, the focus would be on art and the child who wanted to be a doctor wouldn't every be able to do this.

However, well-off parents could pay for tutors for a level subjects and this could work. I think its important that the students can pursue whatever interests they have, and be taught to a high standard in these, rather than possibly being limited by their parents abilities and interests.

My cousin was home educated by his mum, he's one of the most normal, well adjusted, socially popular kid's I know. He got into a prestigious music college one year earlier than most, and by age 18 he's written 3 albums and teaches other children himself.

But he is in fact the only person I know who was HE so a rather small sample, I wouldn't say it works for everyone.

harsh- exactly my concerns too. We all have aptitudes in different areas. I found GCSE French very challenging , but A level Physics easy. Even those HEs who "learn along" with their older children can't assume to in all areas that their children want to pursue.

I loved secondary school. I wasn't particularly clever (grade c student), I wasn't popular but I had a group of 8 friends and spent my time doing every club/ society I could. 20 years later I still have a couple of good school friends too.

I know two people who were home educated. One is in their mid twenties, didn't do any post 16 qualifications and is still at home (no diagnosis of special needs) and the other couldn't wait to leave home and get to university, has two children and will no way in any circumstances HE them because she doesn't want them to be the 'weird kid' like she was.

Many don't have a clue yes, in the same way many don't have a clue how to parent, many don't have a clue how to look after a dog, many don't have a clue how to do lots of things but you can't put everyone in the same box and say it's a bad idea because many don't have a clue. I think it's "some don't have a clue rather than many". I know many that do a fantastic job of home edding and I know some who do a very bad job of teaching in a school.
The boy who had the mickey taken out of him , do you not think he could have had SEN and that's what made him act in that way , not because he'd been home educated? Having the mickey taken out of him says more about the schooled children in the class than him I'm afraid. It's not appropriate what he did but I can guess that he didn't act that way because he was home educated.
My DD thrives in a schooled environment, socially she has lots of friends but also lots of sorrows as they can be mean, take the mickey out of each other and it's all about fitting in and being the same.
My DS thrives at home ed, socially he has lots of friends, we've yet to meet anyone laughing at him or expecting him to fit in, it seems a lot more accepting in the home ed community to be who you are without following the trend. Like I say, everyone is different and it's finding the right environment for the individual because if you expect everyone to go the mainstream way then you will always have some that cannot cope and therefore go through childhood with low self esteem.
There are feckless parents in every town in every country whether they are home edding or sending their children to school they are still failing their children but there are many great parents who are sending their children to school and some are choosing to home ed instead.

100% depends on the child!!! No right/wrong answer!

I am sure you have posted this before, op. In our area I have seen lots of regular meet ups and met lots of families. Some families are out and about regularly and their children have plenty of friends, lots of social contact. Others have less social contact and are less visible in the community. Many go to secondary school, some do not. Many schooled children are unhappy at school (I hated secondary, don't know many people who liked it to be honest!). Home Ed and school, there will be people who love the choice their parents made, and those who hate it.

I am sure you have posted this before, op.

Yes it does seem familiar.

You can't know what your experience of secondary school would have been, OP. You seem to be blaming HE for an awful lot of things and have a rosy view of school life.

My view of secondary schools is quite different and over my dead body will any of my children go to secondary school.

Bullying
Social pressure
Academic pressure
Pressure to conform
Being coached for exams at the expense of real learning.
Poor social experiences that reflect nothing of real life.
Being judged against a narrow set of criteria that are quite arbitary.
Poor treatment and lack of respect from teachers.
Lack of autonomy.
A didactic approach to education.
Lack of time for arts, music, sport.
Restrictive curriculum.
Damage to self esteem and confidence.

Those are the things I don't want my hildren to experience. As for not having the expertise to "teach". I don't teach my children in a school sense. They may choose to go to college to take exams, if they feel they need that kind of teaching - that option is always there.

Iris, OFSTED don't inspect individual children's educational provision and progress, what they inspect is the school environment and quality of teaching. It's completely irrelevant to Home Ed.

Let's see DD had head slammed by heavy doors due to corridors not being patrolled couple year 11 boys messing around

Beating in mind had neurological condtion told her teacher her fingers locking really hurt was told wait one hour later had to collect her with four dislocated fingers

Can't use a lift without adult present and lift pass

Was bullied for not fitting in with the girls (she is mature in lot of ways but not so street wise has no interest in fashion /makeup or pop music or boy bands
Bullied for being friendly with the boys

Struggles friendship wise never saw anyone out of school

She now HE we attend at least one meet up a week sometimes two they include science course trips etc at museums and she now socialises as she feels she not being judged

As for exams at 14 they can actually register and attend collage part time from 14 if want
Or can do igsce at home
Failing that you know what they plenty time to sit exams when a bit older and change careers

As for inspection let's not forget ofstead did not stop the girls that attended Bethnal Green from going if yo join Isis or the children that been abused ?

Exscuse the spelling.I am typing on a small phone keyboard,while trying to drink enough coffee to stay awake .

I'm inclined to agree that there should be some oversight somewhere of home education, but not sure what model would work. We are lucky enough to have been able to use independent schools for our children (scholarships and bursaries very much part of this); part of my preference for this was to keep "government interference" in their education a little further away as far as possible!

My daughter moves school next year; over the summer we were reviewing her choice and options. I am very keen that she feels she has a choice and at one stage pointed out that we could always pull her out of school altogether and HE for a year if she wanted. We then had a really interesting discussion about how we would approach that (year 9 level), what we could do, how we could make it work. I would certainly choose to enrol her in local French classes - probably we'd do that together in fact as my French is woeful considering the amount I supposedly did at school. Most other subject areas I probably could in fact teach her up to GCSE level without problems. In reality she is indeed happy with the school she's about to sit scholarship exams for, but she found it eye-opening to realise how broad her choices were and I hope it helps keep the pressure off to know that we can support her in different ways if necessary at any stage.

Have you read the other enormous thread on this at the moment? It covers most of what you're asking, many won't want to retype again.

OP I don't know about how HE should be regulated, but just wanted to say I felt quite resentful of my parents for sending me to a crappy and quite unpleasant (bullying, socially) comp during the same period. Perhaps whatever our parents do, they can't win!

I don't feel like that now I'm older, more life influences come in than just where you went to school. It's also easy to imagine you would be different if you had done or gone to XYZ, I'm not sure that is true. If say, you had social difficulties, they would be difficult in HE and in a secondary. If you find motivation problematic, again, this would play out in both places.