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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ex won't change address

31 replies

VivienScott · 16/01/2016 14:58

Not really an AIBU, more of a what the f can I do!

My ex moved out of MY house last year. It was always my house, I paid bills, it was mine before he moved in and he's not paid anything towards it, it is my house.

He has got into debt since moving out and because he's still registered at my address with the bank, the banks and credit companies he's with are chasing him at my address. I've had debt collectors round previously and now he's getting demanding letters from his bank here.

The debt collectors take his new address off me and move on, but the bank won't.

I just can not handle the stress of yet another round of debt collectors coming round as he will not change his details with his various bank accounts. He's refusing to saying why should he have them round to his home chasing for money he hasn't got when they can come round here to chase me for his money which serves me right for dumping him and kicking him out.

I've told the bank he is essentially using them to harass me, and he's done it before, but they don't care. They won't change his address without his authority which he won't give so they will keep chasing his debts here.

I've had debt collectors threatening to force their way in before, it's only because I know my rights I've stopped them. I don't know what to do, I can't see an end to this at the moment.

Does anyone know of anything I can do to force the bank to take his new address?

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 16/01/2016 14:59

Maybe a solicitor? I don't know...

But good luck.

CatThiefKeith · 16/01/2016 14:59

Send it all back marked 'return to sender' or 'No longer at this address'

shadowfax07 · 16/01/2016 15:03

Have you tried sending everything back, unopened, with 'not known at this address' on?

I know it's a pain, but it does eventually work. I bought a repossessed house, and had similar problems.

Original poster
VivienScott · 16/01/2016 15:04

I've sent them all back to the bank, they won't accept that as good enough. It has to come from him.

OP posts:
Original poster
VivienScott · 16/01/2016 15:05

I even called the bank this morning in tears and explained to them he's doing this as a way of harassing me and they said there was nothing they could do.

OP posts:
Fourormore · 16/01/2016 15:07

I'd call them again and ask to speak to a manager. This happened to my ex and they stopped his debit card so he had to ring and tell them his new address.

TheFrendo · 16/01/2016 15:09

You can't force he bank to change his address.

You can mark all his mail as "not known" and simply re-post them.

Betrayedbutsurvived · 16/01/2016 15:16

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=1103667

Have a look at this thread on money saving expert, there's some good information on there.

britnay · 16/01/2016 15:25

You could pay for the post office to redirect his mail?
www.royalmail.com/personal/receiving-mail/redirection

Print out a load of sticky labels saying return to sender/not known at address and stick them on each one.

Put anything with his name straight in the bin.

HermioneJeanGranger · 16/01/2016 15:27

Can you talk to the CAB?

Catzpyjamas · 16/01/2016 15:29

You should register with Mail Preference Service to stop the mail and also look at Experian's advice on how to remove an ex from your credit history.

19lottie82 · 16/01/2016 15:32

I can't advise re the bank, but re everything else, Open each letter and PHONE whoever sent it and tell them he no longer lives there, and give them his new address. Returning to sender is often useless. And before anyone says it, no, it's not against the law to open someone else's mail, unless "there is no reasonable excuse", or "you do so to intend to act to the adresees detriment".

Foslady · 16/01/2016 15:38

When I worked at a bank if post was returned 'not known at this address' and was sent back to the main address a stop would be put on the account......

TeaStory · 16/01/2016 15:39

Try phoning the ICO - they've very helpful when someone was using my address.

WickedWax · 16/01/2016 15:42

Can you seek advice from your local police station, surely what he's doing is fraud of some sort, giving the bank a false address?

notquitehuman · 16/01/2016 15:49

Send letters back as 'gone away'. I'd also write to the bank's fraud department with a formal complaint. Warn them that you will pursue things with the ombudsman if they don't stop contacting him at your address.

I assume he's off the electoral roll at this point? If he's registered to vote at his new address then you could tell the bank to check the details.

hefzi · 16/01/2016 15:52

Anything at all that comes for him, mark as "not known" and "return to sender" and stick it back in the post box.
Make sure he is no longer on the electoral roll at your address.
The bank won't take a new address from you, but if you return everything they send back to him, they will - eventually - stop sending it.

With debt collector letters, either open them and call them, giving him his new details, or RTS - they use the electoral roll for finding people, which is why it's important to make sure he's no longer registered with you.

TeaStory · 16/01/2016 15:52

^they were very helpful

wowfudge · 16/01/2016 15:53

Definitely make sure he's no longer on the electoral roll at your address and contact the credit reference agencies and create a disassociation so that your credit records are separated from his.

You must continue to return to sender all mail addressed to him.

NeedsAsockamnesty · 16/01/2016 15:56

Register a dissasocation with credit check agencies

HappyGirlNow · 16/01/2016 15:59

Return letters with a note saying he no longer lives there and they are breaching information security and possibly the Data Protection act by continuing to send information on someone's account to an address they know the person does not live at. Threaten to report them to the ICO. That should stop them.

TheBouquets · 16/01/2016 17:27

Trying writing to the Bank advising that P has not been a resident of your house since (whatever date). State the bank has been advised of this situation several times during telephone conversations, mail has been returned to the bank. Any further communication from the Bank,or any other party acting on their behalf, will be considered harassment and action will be taken.
I had a similar problem and spent years telling them that the person had left the household, letters kept coming, so I wrote to them in similar terms to the above and they seem to have stopped now

GruntledOne · 16/01/2016 17:33

Tell the bank that sending debt collectors to an address where they know perfectly well their customer doesn't live is harassment. If they don't stop immediately you will be reporting them to the police, Trading Standards and the Banking Ombudsman.

maimune82 · 24/02/2019 22:30

Hello there I'm new on here ,I need some advice because I don't have a good knowledge about my rights and laws.
My ex wife has changed a month ago the address we have a 6 years old girl and I have requested for the address to know where my daughter is living and the GP address where my daughter is registered but she is refusing. Any advice please

Thanks Niko

Greywalls12 · 24/02/2019 22:35

ZOMBIE
@maimune82 make your own thread, you'll get more responses.

Swipe left for the next trending thread