To think this comment was uncalled for?

[flanjabelle]

Took dd (2.3) to the park to ride her scooter. she was wearing jeans, long sleeved vest, long sleeved t shirt, woolly jumper, coat, helmet and knee pads.

We came across a woman walking on the path, dd stopped to let her past, all good. Dd was telling me that it was 'good fun mummy' and laughing. The woman stopped, and demanded to know why dd wasn't wearing gloves and told me that her hands must be far too cold. Yes her hands were cold, but in all other respects she was well wrapped up, and gloves would have made her slip her hands off of the handles, I thought. I found myself desperately trying to explain myself to this woman, but I really shouldn't have I don't think.

Was the comment really necessary? Would you have commented? Dd was happy, laughing and having a great time! It made me feel a bit crap and as if I had made the wrong decision.

I'm aware this is petty, but I'm having a shitty time with health problems and was proud of myself for getting dd out to the park. I was in severe pain and doing my best and it knocked me. Sad I know.

Silly woman obviously doesn't have children herself, or she would know that lots of small children dislike wearing mitts or gloves - why does she think you see so many of them dropped torn off and flung away on pavements!

I know it can shake you when somebody speaks like that, however irrational it is, but don't let it worry you.

The woman probably had cold hands. People (old people especially for some reason) often project their feelings onto children. I notice this a lot with my mother, when we go out somewhere and she's cold/hot/hungry/thirsty she says "The children must be cold/hot/hungry/thirsty" and even when she asks them and they say no, she still insists. It's a lack of being able to put yourself in others shoes, or a need to put yourself in others shoes. I can`t quite figure out which .

Don't worry about justifying yourself. Well done for getting out and it sounds like your DD had a great time, was well wrapped up and wasn't even cold.

None of her business.

But by the way, my DD loves her scooter gloves. Go over the handle so you can keep hands warm and scoot

I hate wearing gloves myself. Perfectly easy to be gloveless yet warm.

I literally cannot imagine having the brass neck to address a complete stranger with their obviously-happy child and offer my unsolicited opinion on their dress!

I've had some success with saying "Aww, what a cunty thing to say. Go you!" in a really "sweet" voice, as if accepting a compliment. However you run the risk of DD repeating it

I would have told her to back the fuck off! I realise this is my 'solution' to most things - I'm not very good at people
Don't let some idiot grind you down OP

How rude! My niece (6yo) won't wear a hat - she just takes it off all the time, usually drops it and stands on it. We were walking dogs over Christmas and she insisted on taking her jacket off. I carried it and kept checking if her hands were cold but no.

Nobody has ever said anything to me, but I'm storing up the comment of pocketsaviour for future reference but without the swear.

MrsAxewound "I would have told her to back the fuck off!"

Would you really?

Gruntfuttock

Yes, I probably would

A good put down is 'in what way is this a problem?'

Can't stand the glove police. I have several in my family. My dm is one. She doesn't actually approach people, but still makes me cringe with her muttering and head shaking and tutting.

My children are always appropriately dressed for the weather, but I've always made a point of never forcing gloves on my children if they didn't want them, but they know they're there. Both have ended up asking for them when they've been cold enough, and it's never been a big deal.

My dad nearly put my dd off wearing her hat, which she is usually very happy to wear, because he kept forcing it back on her when she got hot and took it off, until she was in tears and stopped playing. I mean, what's the point?!

My ds has always fallen over a lot, and when he was very small he used to get quite put off by gloves and wouldn't put his hands out to save himself, resulting in some nasty scrapes, so I only put them on him if he was in the buggy. One time we were going to be playing in the garden and MIL asked I needed to bring his gloves out, there was a lot of uneven gravel and we were only going to be out for 15 minutes so I said no, but she put them in her own pocket anyway, and didn't stop about how his hands must be cold the whole time he was happily playing.

Anyway, this obviously hit a nerve, YANBU!!

I gave my 10-year-old money yesterday to get gloves in the village shop on the way to school. By the end of school he had lost one. He doesn't care, so why should I bother if he has cold hands.

Baby balaclavas! I must head to dragons den immediately!

Everyone responsible parent keeps their baby's face warm with a beard balaclava.

I find that going without gloves means my hands are initially freezing but then suddenly my circulation kicks in and they become toasty warm. Gloves are for namby pamby busy bodies!

Roar at 'that baby's face will be cold'

My dd took her tights off the other day, 30 secs before my dm walked in, was just on my way up to change her and got "Where's hers socks?!" In outraged tones following me up the stairs.

She wouldn't have said it to you if you were a bloke, I suspect.

I had a similar thing in opposite weather condition whereby I was walking with my toddler on a very hot day, without a sunhat . We were walking all of about 200yds. Bloke stopped me in the street and proceeded to mansplain explain to me why I should have put a hat on said toddler. He hadn't approached my partner who'd walked past literally 30 secs before with our other toddler. Just me.

Who do these people think they are?

Are you sure she actually demanded to know why she wasn't wearing gloves?

Or did she just say, "Ooh where's her gloves. Her hands must be cold"?

Not that the second one is particularly called for either, but the 'demanding' thing makes her sound very hostile.

Like she's the park's glove police or something

I had a woman today tell me that my toddler should be taken away from me and given to "someone who will take care of her properly", because said toddler was not wearing a hat. Seriously. Those were her actual words. I was and and all at once.

What possesses people?

Some people just have to say something. It's like they can't help themselves. What matters is that your DD has been out and had a fabulous time. Don't let this woman's comments deflate you. I know all too well how easy it is to let a small blip knock you down when you've won what, to you, is a blooming big battle, but your daughter's the important one here and she had fun, so focus on that. Well done for getting her out and about

I think DD being safe and able to hold on properly was far more important than her hands being a bit cold, losing her grip at a crucial moment could have caused a serious injury so you did exactly the right thing. Dont let people with no idea and no right to judge or comment knock your confidence OP, bet DD had a great time

Just smile and wave. Smile and wave.

Dd2, up until recently, always refused to wear a coat and anything with long sleeves. She's a real hot bod though. It was a nightmare trying to wrestle her into her coat everyday so I stopped bothering but I used to carry her coat and hat on the school run so that people didn't think I was a bad mother! It would be practically snowing outside and she would be there in just a t-shirt but if you touched her she was warm. I'd be there with my coat, hat, scarf and gloves on, shivering! Luckily we know a lot of people on the school run so after the initial "isn't mini pickle cold?/why aren't you wearing your coat, young lady" comments people stopped batting an eyelid.

Now she's at school she puts her coat on every morning!