To ask desperately what really worked for you with fear of flying?

[hippowithsuncreen]

I have flown several times. It terrifies me. I need to know what really worked for you.

Only going to the Channel Islands but had a panic attack last time

I fly quite a lot and hate, hate, hate it. Valium didn't really work for me (either made me sleepy, or aggressive and gave me a horrible headache when it was wearing off). I'd really like to do a fear of flying course. I do get email updates from Captain Tom, an ex-Pilot does fear of flying courses. The most useful info I read from him was about turbulence. He said that pilots with no passengers - cargo/FedEx pilots, for example - don't bother flying around turbulence as there is no need. Whereas in a passenger plane someone might get injured, I guess, in bad turbulence.

Turbulence bothers me less but I still worry that I'm going to just die.

kittymum, Air Crash Investigation is still on and I watch it too. Why? Why?! I'm just tortutung myself!

For me it was a flying lesson! I had a one off lesson in a little Cessna a few years ago. I was terrified beforehand, but it was so exhilarating, a fantastic experience. I think the behaviour of the instructor helped with my fear, he was so relaxed, he explained all the little noises, so I started to see that it wasn't a big deal. I do still get nervous before flying, but am no longer jumping out of my skin at every little noise and bump.

Wine and a fatalistic attitude. I also have the wonderful luck that every time I have to fly one of the TV channels shows an air disaster film, and I, of course, have to watch it.

Flying with the kids meant I had to suck it up because I didn't want them to have my fear over it.

I know someone who as emigrating and when she got to the airport refused to get on the plane!

Katedot, I sgree, wine does help a bit. OP, sorry, my post was not helpful! I do hear good things about fear of flying courses. and check out Captain Tom

This isn't actually helpful as you can't do it intentionally, but a relative of mine was coming on a holiday with in order to conquer their flying fears (it had been 20+ years of avoiding flying).

We arrived at check-in only for them to discover they'd forgotten their passport, argh. Cue a mad dash back to get it and returning just as check-in had closed (they were thankfully persuaded to let us on). Then another mad dash through the airport and last onto a waiting plane. The whole saga served as a fantastic distraction and the back-up valium wasn't needed!

Low dose Beta blockers and alcohol
Even at 9am

I'm terrified of flying - I had last been in May 2008 and 10 years again before that... I went last year with the realisation that if I didn't then my children would never have a foreign holiday. We did a two hour flight to Spain. I cried, cursed (under my breath) and drank lots of but I did it. I had to do it on the way back because I wanted to get home!

Pal had a lifelong fear of flying.... She was so pleased when she had had therapy to overcome....

The second flight she took was hijacked.... Luckily all OK.... Just amazingly bad luck!

teethief, yes, it is true. the turbulence while scary for us is not dangerous (assuming the plane is under power) nor does it mean the pilots are losing control of the plane. Just as large ships are designed to handle rough seas. It's just hitting bumps in the air.

The tests these aircraft undergo are incredible. Check this out www.flightglobal.com/news/articles/picture-boeing-completes-787-ultimate-load-wing-flex-340014/

In testing the 787 wings were bent upwards 25 feet - yes, feet! -- so bouncing a bit in turbulence is nothing to them.

Google airplane wing flex for more info, and read this excellent BBC article on aircraft testing, it will make you feel better

www.bbc.com/future/story/20140319-stress-tests-for-safer-planes

Those worried about rough or rocky landing, this may make you feel better: I read a book by a pilot once and he said that those "rough" landings are actually safer because the tires are hitting the runway with enough force to grip and get traction, as they bounce.

It's those slick, gliding-in landings where the tires skim the runway that are actually slightly less safe. Not unsafe, but mainly practised to appease passengers. Something that quickly places a strong vertical load on the tires helps them generate traction and braking force better - i.e. slamming down to the runway.

Think of how much faster your car brakes when you stomp the pedal vs. how you slide/hydroplane skimming on a slick surface.

So take heart - those "rough" landings are really the pilot getting you to the ground safely and efficiently. Those gigantic shock absorbers are in those planes for a reason!

Haha. I am a bit of a nervous flyer myself so I read a lot about it. The nerves have more to do with my innate anxiety than the realities. It's really a fascinating field and I love to watch planes and even often enjoy flying. Especially the take-offs!

Google 787 vertical take-off if you want to see how tame and wimpy our ordinary passenger flights really are compared to what the aircraft are capable of! They are awesome machines.

Valium.

Getting on the plane relaxed rather than in a crazy panic getting ready to go away.

Flying more.

I'm nowhere near as bad as I was.

Teeththief yep, bumpy not dangerous was my turbulence mantra last flight!

The pilots will fly round the worst turbulence just because it disturbs in flight service etc but will fly into normal amounts of turbulence if it's a quicker route just because it's totally normal. Even if the plane is shaking up and down by tens of feet it's still not dangerous. One of the best BA pilots with cumulative three years in the air flying time told us that on our fear of flying course.

Also google 707 roll and find the YouTube of the test pilot doing a barrel roll in a 707 passenger aircraft. "No hazard whatsoever" he says. And that was rather back in the olden days; planes are even safer now.

Here is a video of a pilot doing a barrel roll and his iced tea does not spill, and to top that he does a barrel roll with one hand on the steering wheel and one hand POURING a new glass of iced tea.

www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=9ZBcapxGHjE&t=127

Again, what you experience in a normal passenger flight is only a tiny fraction of what the planes and the pilots are really capable of. Imagine if you were a famous dancer asked to waltz with a grandpa at a wedding reception. It might be a big deal for grandpa but for the dancer, a no-brainer compared to performing the opening night of Swan Lake with the Royal Ballet. Same for these pilots and planes.

I'm not saying it's not scary at all, don't misunderstand - totally empathize and sometimes I am frightened as well - but putting it in perspective with facts and such does help.

So does Valium.

ghosty I guess it would depend how much Valium affects you. I can take quite a lot and drink and be okay but some people get really zonked out.

Other alternative is beta blockers. They don't stop you being scared like Valium but they stop panic attacks by not allowing your heart to race

I completely hate flying after being in a plane fire: I have run down the aisles screaming on quite normal flights. And yet am now a gold card holder with BA and fly without (much) worry.

For me - a fear of flying course was really helpful and I really recommend it.

But the real solution to my anxiety is a homeopathic remedy called Arg Nit 30c. I take 2 about half a day before flying, then 2 more about an hour before, and then some whenever I get nervous. Somehow it moves me to a relaxed, calm state - I have sat quite calmly through terrible turbulence, an engine blowing up on take off, and go-rounds. Only downside is it gives me a slightly upset stomach but its a small price to pay. I used to lie awake worrying for months before a flight and now I just worry a bit on the day.

For me it was a mum of a child in my class. She was a full time cabin crew member dropping her 5 year off in the morning and reminding the staff who would be collecting her that day and for the next couple of days. It just put it in perspective and made me feel a wimp. . Would she have flown several days a week if she thought she wasn't coming home to her three children?I have been a lot braver since then!