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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate people going on about how beautiful my house is

261 replies

DyslexicScientist · 15/01/2016 09:03

When its absolutely freezing inside, costs a fortune to heat and its still not particularly warm or comfortable! This is for about half the year. I've done lots that I can do but it is listed.

I dream of building a modern but boring house. I've packed my suitcase and am staying in my friends modern house this weekend and I'm really looking forward to it.

Anyone else suffering in an old house and having to deal with people just commenting on how nice it looks despite bing very impractical?

OP posts:
ComposHatComesBack · 15/01/2016 11:57

I have an old Skoda if you are interested? It has Ambience

Believe it or not, I would genuinely love a Skoda Fabia. My dream cars are well made reliable family hatchbacks.If and when my 20 year old Toyota dies (does that qualify as retro chic yet?).

totalrecall1 · 15/01/2016 12:01

Well, the op wasn't worded very well but that's what you get when you live in an old house. We have a different leak everytime it rains, it costs a fortune to run and is draughty, but it's beautiful so I put up with it. You make your choice comfort or beauty but either way it's your choice.

iamnina · 15/01/2016 12:02

I live in a 100 year old house it's cold in Winter in the rooms which don't have the woodburners.

I've found a hot water bottle about my person (ie in jeans waistband, under jumper or in trackies) helps to keep my body temperature up - sounds ridiculous but works for me.

I also bought a fleece onsie from
Marks and Spencer almost as an afterthought on an order. I laughed when I opened it, I never thought I would wear one, until I put it on and it's toasty with the hot water bottle in too Wink

Sukkii25 · 15/01/2016 12:05

In 1988 when we had no kids DH and I bought an upper two storey flat which was built in 1900. We loved the character and huge rooms and high ceilings. We moved overseas and rented out our house for about 17 years then four years ago our kids were back in the home town for University/College.

Four years ago I actually saw my 4 bedroom flat as it really was. It was huge and old and quite ugly. My kids are living there and I spend 6 months a year there and it is a Money Pit - I hate it. We have spent thousands of pounds on a leak in the staircase.

We had an old gas fire with a back boiler to get that changed to a Combi boiler was 8,000 pounds, to get any floor or wall smooth enough either takes a lot of time or a lot of money.

I want to sell my 4 bedroom home with high ceilings, mouldings, high skirting boards and period detail and buy a small 3 bedroom house that I know is watertight but my DH is stubborn.

So OP YANBU to feel annoyed but YABU to feel annoyed. I get it all the time, oh what a lovely big house, wish I had a room as big as this!

TheWitTank · 15/01/2016 12:10

I adore period homes, and always thought I would live in one until I moved into my brand new build (which luckily isn't a typical 'box' and is on its own with some unusual features). Underfloor heating, modern kitchen, always warm, very economical, easy upkeep. I love it. I still hanker after the beautiful listed properties I see in the village, but I realise just how much hard work they can be!

yolofish · 15/01/2016 12:28

I like it when people say how beautiful our house is... it is beautiful, 450 years old in parts and part Edwardian. it is also so so much shabbier than chic. we've always bought doer-uppers, but with this one, 17 years on, the doing-up has ground to a halt through lack of money. it makes me laugh when the kids tell me their friends think we are rich because we have a big house - big old house=no money. the friends live in houses that are warm, decorated, they go on holidays once or twice a year... I too fantasise about a modern box, but when I go into one I practically die from the heat, so must have got used to the draughts and the inconvenience!

wickedwaterwitch · 15/01/2016 12:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnonymousBird · 15/01/2016 12:34

I have lived in old houses for 18 years, I am about to move into a gorgeous, unique but completely new house and I simply cannot wait.

I don't mind people saying my house and garden are beautiful, so YABU on that count, but I see your frustration as they have absolutely no idea how much effort it takes to maintain/fix/deal with.... and to us, all that hassle totally outweighs the "beauty" etc.

We feel like we are having a weight lifted from our shoulders with our move. No hassle, no maintenance, no gardening, hardly any mortgage. Deep complete and utter joy. I will miss the views, and some of the space, but won't miss much else.

I can just lock the door and go somewhere without thinking something needs fixing, replacing, it's cold, it's drafty, etc etc etc... can't wait.

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza · 15/01/2016 12:36

Nothing puts me off a person more than if they are unable to accept a compliment gracefully.

It just comes across as so insecure.

Xmasbaby11 · 15/01/2016 12:36

Yanbu but I sort of understand. We have a beautiful Victorian house which is spacious but draughty and expensive to heat and maintain. We are always spending money on dull things like new windows and damp proofing. Some rooms are dark too. All these problems are fixable but costly. I wish we'd looked into the maintenance costs when we bought it.

Having said that, I am always happy to receive compliments about our home! The space means we can entertain easily and I understand why people are envious of that.

AnonymousBird · 15/01/2016 12:38

Holdmecloser - I agree, it's rather ungracious, but suspect OP has worded her post a bit awkwardly in a fit of pique, rather than that actually being the case (giving the benefit of the doubt here!)

cressetmama · 15/01/2016 12:40

As a kid and until 1990-something, my grandma and great aunt (both widowed) lived in a 14th century half timbered house on the top of a hill. It was beautiful, and we loved it but... there was a hole in a timber right at chest level above the bath in the north facing bathroom, and by the time hot water reached the heavy 1920s cast iron bath it was not longer hot.... to keep the plumbing from freezing up, there was a tiny paraffin lamp behind/below each loo cistern.... the dining room was so cold it was only used on Christmas day when there were about 20 for lunch and lighting the fire could be justified -- it was an inglenook fireplace that required whole trees, but the only place it was possible to be warm-ish was sat in the inglenook (where one was choked by smoke). Every year in cold weather, they went to bed fully dressed and with fur rugs on the beds, and woke up to frozen water in the glass by the bed. My grandma was so happy to move to a warm modern box for her last days, but still missed her "lady of the manor" summer moments!

To be a real aristo requires a cavalier contempt for comfort.

cressetmama · 15/01/2016 12:43

Oh, and when the house was sold and the millionaire new owners installed central heating, it woke up the death watch beetle which crunched through the 14th century timbers!

ppeatfruit · 15/01/2016 12:43

ABetaDad We have friends who have moved from a lovely old Edwardian house and they are saying they miss it. because their new, modern, place also needs looking after , they all do.

wol1968 · 15/01/2016 12:48

I still remember the time when my DB and his wife and son used to live a few miles from us, and we babysat DN one winter evening. Their house was a chocolate-box thatched cottage affair with a massive garden that took a lot of maintenance, and I remember how cold and damp their sitting room was and how it took about an hour to light a proper fire in it. (DM also remarked more than once that DN's clothes often smelt musty in the winter as it was impossible to dry them properly and there was nowhere to vent a tumble dryer). We came home that night with a new appreciation of our new-build where we could get the house warm with the flick of a button.

HoneyDragon · 15/01/2016 12:52

People tell me my house is lovely and I go "thank you,it is isn't it?" And after they've gone I enjoys its lovely warmth and low outgoings because it's one of those dreadful soulless new builds with its horrible 2000+ square foot garden. You're looking at the wrong new builds.

(I also took my diamond shoes to the charity shop because diamond shoes are sooooooo 2015 Wink)

SoupDragon · 15/01/2016 12:52

Another bizarre thread from the OP.

GreenishMe · 15/01/2016 12:53

This is in danger of turning into one of those "it's harder to have than not have" threads

HoneyDragon · 15/01/2016 12:54

Oh sorry, I just ruined it by being insufferably smug

AnUtterIdiot · 15/01/2016 12:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MitzyLeFrouf · 15/01/2016 12:55

I live in a lovely toasty and warm period property.

mellicauli · 15/01/2016 12:59

I know what you mean. People are always telling me how beautiful I am. Sometimes I wish I was just a utility model instead of a supermodel[flicks hair]

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 15/01/2016 13:00

wol1968

I hate period cottages! dusty, damp,dark, cramped, small windowed and low ceilinged little fuckers they are

I am appreciating my ex council new build more now

not my 1980s kitchen though

ppeatfruit · 15/01/2016 13:03

AnUtter Yes (most of us) live too far north to have floor to ceiling windows and open plan houses. It makes me laugh when I hear people on these property programmes saying how they want lots of light and big windows. The windows are small in old houses for a reason.

wafflerinchief · 15/01/2016 13:22

I live in a 200+ year old basement flat - even in high summer we have flannel bedsheets and at least 1 quilt. Currently I've got a duvet, quilt, and a really thick blanket. DD sleeps under about 5 blankets + her quilt. It's like being in a cave - dark, thick stone walls and daylight out there somewhere! Period living...