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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate people going on about how beautiful my house is

261 replies

DyslexicScientist · 15/01/2016 09:03

When its absolutely freezing inside, costs a fortune to heat and its still not particularly warm or comfortable! This is for about half the year. I've done lots that I can do but it is listed.

I dream of building a modern but boring house. I've packed my suitcase and am staying in my friends modern house this weekend and I'm really looking forward to it.

Anyone else suffering in an old house and having to deal with people just commenting on how nice it looks despite bing very impractical?

OP posts:
MadamCroquette · 15/01/2016 09:33

We have a beautiful, period-feature-tastic (though not big) victorian stone-built house. It's not cold really (terraced and mostly double-glazed) but I have definitely fallen out of love with this kind of house. It's really hard to put anything against the walls because there is always some period feature or other in the way. Bay-windowed rooms annoy me because they're an awkward shape. Stuff needs fixing all the time. It's hard to attach anything to old plaster walls. The rooms are an annoying mix of sizes, bedrooms and bathroom are tiny, kitchen is huge but impractical. I've tried to work out ways to rearrange the space but then it's expensive and difficult to start knocking bits through and remodelling an old stone house.

I never thought I would fantasise about a modern house but these days I do! I just want space, a garage for storage, a roof that doesn't need fixing, and a utility room, doors that fit, etc.

Trouble is they are v rare in our catchment and I'd rather not mess the kids about so we are stuck looking in our area.

MorrisZapp · 15/01/2016 09:33

Right. So in a fair world, it would go like this:

Visitor: wow! Your house is amazing! So big, and full of character, I love it!

Owner: well actually it is very cold, and expensive to run. I hate it.

Visitor: um, ok. Sorry.

Why on earth would you need to 'shut up' a friend complimenting your home? Maybe all people should just be silent now, in case saying wow what a nice home causes offence.

FannyGlum · 15/01/2016 09:35

Our house is 1895 and freezing. It does heat up, but only while heating is on high. And even then there are pockets of draughts. We have the maximum loft insulation, brand new double glazing and boiler 5 yrs ago.

I'd love to move, but we can't afford anything better in the area.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 15/01/2016 09:36

Anyone else suffering in an old house and having to deal with people just commenting on how nice it looks despite bing very impractical?

Yup, we live in a 100 yo 4 bedroom. People love how big it is! and how wide the staircase is!

But it's single wall, no insulation downstairs, and is fucking freezing. I love it, but I'd rather be warm.

MadamCroquette · 15/01/2016 09:37

I do get compliments on my house and I'd never say that! I just say thanks. There are bits I love, the tiled fireplace in the front room is beautiful so I can say "Oh yes I love those tiles too".

However if I was OP's visitor and we had that conversation I'd probably just want to chat more as I love talking about houses. "Oh what is it about it that annoys you? We're thinking of moving so I'd love to hear about it" etc.

Gobbolino6 · 15/01/2016 09:37

I know what you mean, having grown up in a beautiful, freezing Victorian money pit.

I then went through various lovely warm, hassle free new builds.

Now I live in a 1930s ex council 3 bed. It's also a freezing money pit....but no one tells me it's beautiful.

Sparklingbrook · 15/01/2016 09:37

Why on earth would you need to 'shut up' a friend complimenting your home?

But OP hates it and has to 'deal' with it so they clearly need to stop.

JerryFerry · 15/01/2016 09:38

Yes the charm of beauty can fade quickly in the cold light of every day.

Love, love, love my warm house...

MrsAmaretto · 15/01/2016 09:39

I understand about the coldness - is it Lath & plaster walls? The draughts seem to come from them! Love that we now have a modern house.

But your title is very silly so YABU

TheSecondViola · 15/01/2016 09:39

Are your diamond shoes too tight as well?

Wolpertinger · 15/01/2016 09:39

Dyslexic are you me?

I think I get worse with every property purchase. Well I'm stuck with this one as no fool would buy it from me and by the time I've afforded the refurb I'm bloody well going to enjoy it.

Cavity walls - not if your timber frame was built in the Middle Ages.

Loft insulation - done, but really it should be ridiculously expensive lambswool as period properties need to breath don't you know. I can see the sky through my roof but the rain doesn't seem to get in and like hell can I afford hand made clay peg tiles.

Single glazing - of course, and listing won't let you change it. I've got secondary glazing but it's shit, full of condensation, needs replacing, etc etc..

Am trying to have double glazing put in the modern bit - spent 2 weeks measuring every bit of the house to make scale drawings for my listed building application. I just want a double glazed window!

Living in a listed building is a love hate relationship. Mainly hate to be honest. The beautiful stained glass windows (broken obvs) have a lot to answer for.

In the winter we spend most of the day hiding under the duvet.

BaronessEllaSaturday · 15/01/2016 09:40

ChristmasCabbage no cavity insulation here but then I don't have a cavity for it to be installed in.

If I have the heating on and all the fires lit then the house does get warm, if the fires aren't lit then the chimneys can cause draughts. I have thick heavy lined curtains at all windows and when it's this cold a lot are just kept shut to keep the heat in. Currently finding lots of things to do in the kitchen since it's the warmest room in the house. I do love my house but yes it is cold and on days like this you can start to wonder what you see in it.

yorkshapudding · 15/01/2016 09:41

I can see how it must be unpleasant feeling cold all the time OP but I have a feeling you may get a bit of stick for this post as your definition of "suffering" may be very different to many people.

SirChenjin · 15/01/2016 09:41

Right. So in a fair world, it would go like this

Not a fair world - a normal, non-MN world where people have normal friends and don't spend their lives in angst, picking apart every single tiny thing their friends and relatives say and then going NC with them as a result Grin

MadamCroquette · 15/01/2016 09:42

Actually MIL has a mahoosive house, chocolate box pretty exterior, very old, loads of period features, incredibly valuable, and I LOATHE it with a passion. It's cold, miserable, dirty, full of insects, labyrinthine, dangerously unstable and very, very scary. It actually got exorcised in the past, before she bought it. Now I am not a religious or woo person at all but it's not what you want is it?

I think old houses can be lovely but it needs care and attention and money to make them nice to be in.

NerrSnerr · 15/01/2016 09:42

Surely it's better than them telling you your house is shit and you still having to live in a cold house.

Is it possible for you to move house?

tootsietoo · 15/01/2016 09:42

Well, I see what you're saying, but YABU! It's a nice thing for people to say, and presumably you chose to live there. We live in a rattly cold old house, and yes we've spent a bit of money getting it warmer (v. thick curtains all round, put in a woodburner) and we all have electric blankets/hot water bottles/2 duvets at this time of year, but I like it! And it feels nice when other people like it!

Katenka · 15/01/2016 09:44

But OP hates it and has to 'deal' with it so they clearly need to stop.

no they don't. They are commenting on how it looks, not what it's like to live in.

Do you really think people must stop saying something nice?

Original poster
DyslexicScientist · 15/01/2016 09:44

Yes RiverTam and others, I'm the same - totally over these character features. I knew it wouldn't be super comfortable in the winter, but its not that comfortable for most of the year. The lounge is nice if there is a decent amount of sun.

Shock at 5k heating! Mine is a fraction of that, but it never really gets warm, just takes the edges of. If I kept the themostant at 20 it probably would cost similar.

I can't move at the moment, but would like to. Its just a real shame I want a big plot and all new builds seem to have a garden 1/10th of the size I need.

Thinking about putting in an insulated log cabbin and wood burner. Could use that to sleep in!

OP posts:
Owllady · 15/01/2016 09:44

This house is freezing as well. I have the heating on high and the toilet seat is still as cold as a caravan seat

Leelu6 · 15/01/2016 09:44

Is this a stealth boast? Confused

Hard to feel sympathy for you when so many people are struggling to get on the property ladder. Sell up and buy an energy efficient home.

Callthemodwife · 15/01/2016 09:44

My house is gorgeous and ancient. But we have secondary glazing so although it's not as efficient as a new build but heats up beautifully. The damp is an issue but we're tackling it as we can afford it.

I don't like people telling me my house is beautiful but only because I don't really feel I'm worthy of owning such a beautiful piece of history, and I get embarrassed. If you don't like it just move!

SonyaAtTheSamovar · 15/01/2016 09:45

Period homes are like "interesting" and "exciting" men.

I have learned to steer clear.

SonyaAtTheSamovar · 15/01/2016 09:46

Buy a slanket!

GreenishMe · 15/01/2016 09:46

Put a sign up >>> 'No compliments about my house please'

Why are you complaining - I don't understand?

Last night I was so glad to get into my house, out of the real cold and it made me think about how horrible it must be to be homeless in this weather. I can't even really imagine how they must suffer....because I have a home.

My house is old and draughty and I can't afford to maintain it properly and I moan about it a lot, but I'm very lucky to have it....and you're lucky too.

Is this even a real thread?