To just leave nursing

[Faye12345]

Hi I posted the other day about my new job. Im a nurse and I hate it Ive had enough and i just want out. Im married and ttc but no news yet. I just cant hold on much longer. I cant believe Ive wasted 12 years of my life. I just want to hand my notice in and get agency or bank work as I cant cope with FT but im non clinical so ill need to relearn skills. I just hope im young enough still to do it. Got 10 grand savings so a bit of a safety net. Worried about pension etc but i just cant live like this

The thing about nursing is that there are so many different things you can do. I qualified in 1977 and I have done so many different types of nursing jobs - I have worked in industry, schools, social services, community, hospital - I think it would be a shame if you lost your registration.

Has there been anything about the last 12 years you have enjoyed? Could you identify anything positive and see if you could look into related careers?

Most jobs offer training. I have retrained several times to take on jobs to fit in with family and caring commitments.

Could you take some leave and just look into the possibilities?

I'm happy doing part time night shifts in the care home. It's not hugely challenging clinically and there's very little stress as it's quiet.

I had to come off days due to the stress and pressure from relatives and the general environment.

I earn decent money and then tootle home to a nice, warm bed.

Agency work was good as well when I did it, but that was over a decade ago now.

I'm a nurse. Worked ward based for a while and absolutely dreaded every shift. Now in community and feel like my old self again. I'd rather work in Tesco than go back to ward work.

" I think it would be a shame if you lost your registration."

Why? OP has been nursing for 12 years and has moved around different areas, including jobs that aren't 'hands-on' clinical type roles. If being a Nurse makes her feel stressed and unhappy and has done for a number of years then why would the loss of her registration be such a bad thing? I'm genuinely not trying to be argumentative or disputing that this advice comes from a well meaning and supportive place. I suppose I'm just curious as to why, when someone expresses that they want to leave Nursing as it's making them miserable, the default position is often to persuade them to stay and whether the response would be the same if it was any other profession?

We've all worked with Nurses who are knowledgeable and technically competent but should really have gotten out years ago as their hearts just aren't in it and clearly haven't been for a long time. When I started out I couldn't imagine ever relating to those burnt out, cynical, apathetic Nurses I used to feel sorry for (and exasperated by) as a Student Nurse but now I'm seriously worried that, given time, I might become one of them. I've changed roles several times, worked in some nice teams, and still feel the same. I always said that if I ever found myself starting to feel that way I would get the hell out while I was young enough to make a fresh start elsewhere but if I'm honest, I never really thought it would be me. I still care about providing a quality service to patients and am a passionate supporter of the NHS so that's why I'm looking at non-nursing roles within the health service. If I manage to get one of these roles I have no idea yet whether I will maintain my registration or not but at the moment, when I think about it lapsing I just imagine an overwhelming sense of relief.

YANBU. I think Nurses must have the patients of Saints !

DH is an A&E Nurse is a major hospital and he says he would never want to work on a ward (but I think that's mostly he likes the variety of A&E).

He has been a Nurse about 17 years and I think it seems exhausting, I don't know how when you get older you managed the regular night shifts.

Have you looked at Nursing for the Police, Advanced Nurse Practitioner or Walk in Centre or the NHS Helpline (or whatever it's name is)?

Feel free to pm me as DH has been doing it a long time and Nursed abroad too. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi,
I think 12 years is plenty long enough to decide whether a job is for you so maybe you should look at other choices. I agree with other posters that if poss it would be best to line something else up before resigning.
That said, as a jnr dr I've had to rotate jobs every 4-6 months for years and I do agree with another poster that one month in is the worst - you're still finding your feet a bit but feel like you should have it sorted by now. So if you thought it was a good post when you applied it might be worth holding out another few months...
The main reason I wanted to post though was to say thank you to all the nurses posting (including OP of course!) for all your hard work in often difficult conditions - you're all heroes to me and it's so sad to see such disillusionment across all areas of the nhs :(

It is just that once you lose that registration it is so hard and expensive to get it back. You only have to work a limited number of hours a year to keep it, so I think it would be worth the OP looking at all the possibilities before making that decision.

When you work in hospital you don't have time to really look into all the other possibilities that are out there. I wouldn't leave a job until I had sorted something else. It is easier to get a job from a position of employment than unemployment.

Do you have any thoughts as to what you would like to do OP?

PM me if you like. I don't want to detail my long and varied career on here!!

Thanks everyone for your thoughts. Its like i need someones permission almost to throw the towel in! I would like to work community bank. My old manager told me im a fantastic nurse and should never jack it in. The irony! X

Im 29 so i still feel young enough to move on aswell but i have no idea what to!

I was never a nurse, and never wanted to be but when I was in a similar career changing position, I tried to list people who had jobs which I thought sounded interesting, and to see whether those jobs were something I could do or train for. It was also useful to eliminate jobs I wouldn't have wanted to do e.g. someone left teaching for social work, and I thought, why on earth?

Have you looked into going into health visiting or being a school matron? Both options ex nurses I know are doing now.

have you considered the many training jobs that are necessary in your profession. You wd be using your years of knowledge and experience and you wd be out of the actual pressure arena .Also many types of facilities need a nurse , including old folks homes, homes for different disabilities, schools, armed forces, prisons, dangerous work places,--

If you can't live like this, then leave.

You only have one life. Live it.

No one is indispensible.

Thanks guys but i dont think i could hack yet another nurse role

If you're feeling disillusioned with nursing I would say leave and do something else but have another job lined up first.

My DH quit as a staff nurse on a busy oncology ward without having anything else, not even on the nurse bank. I supported him in this as he was really unhappy and it was affecting his mental health, plus he had savings he could live off until something else came along.

That something else took six months to find, but he is now working as a HCA on a ward and is happier than he ever was as a trained nurse.

Good for him Joyless. How did you cope with wage drop? Dh will support me but cant live off thin air

How about being a school nurse less pressure and shorter hours

I am a RMN/RGN with 30 years nhs experience (started the day I was 18 ). The nhs is being destroyed and I don't think sustainable , however with a nursing qualification there are so many opportunities out of a hospital. What about writing nursing reports for legal firms ? I have seen quite a few of those jobs advertised and think about this as a possibility in the future.

Four years ago when DH left the nursing job we had a smaller mortgage and no childcare costs for our 18 month old DS as MIL had him on the days we both worked. We now have a bigger mortgage, a 12 month old DD and are paying afterschool fees on two days for DS, but are still managing financially although cash can be a bit tight on occasion!

Life's short enough without doing a job which will probably put you into an even earlier grave through stress.

I just have no fight left and it worries me

It's interesting that a lot of people are recommending school nursing/HV. I used to share an office with a team of health visitors and they all seemed extremely stressed and unhappy in their jobs, which surprised me as I had always thought it was something I might quite enjoy. Essentially, they were frustrated that they couldn't provide a quality service to the women and babies/children in their care as all their time was taken up with child protection issues. That really put me off as I remember feeling the same way when I worked in a school nursing team (did a 12 month secondment a few years back) and it was awful. I spent way more time sat in child protection conferences being verbally abused and threatened by angry parents and writing reports than anything else, there was no time for actual contact with children. It felt like we were being used as Safeguarding Nurses but paid a lot less. I imagine a lot must depend on where you are geographically though as I work in quite a deprived area with lots of social issues. OP, maybe see if you can speak to any HV and SN in your area and find out what it's like. If you want to work on the bank in a community role anyway, it might be a good bet as I know the SN team I worked in relied quite heavily on bank/agency.

Medical rep?

Pay comparable to a band 6/7, company car, private health care insurance, 9-5 Monday to Friday and you're already qualified to do it.

Hello, as a medic I totally understand where you are coming from. I changed career at 31, and love it although have been financially strapped for 12 years and hopefully turning the corner soon.

However, practically speaking, if you ate TTC, stress won't help and for that reason I thing you are right to do bank shift and be free to choose your hours. I only had maternity pay for my first child and the nhs doesn't pay much.

I love the NHS, however after almost 20 years working in it, if I see a new color, patterned uniform of some nursing manager 'type', holding a clipboard and going to meetings.....I shall scream.

I have noticed that once these nursing managers leave nursing, they pull the ladder up and forget their nursing colleagues. Do what is right for you, your health and your family. Xx

I'm a paediatric nurse, acute paeds wards and a school nurse (both part time) I've been nursing on (majority) and off for 32yrs. I've done adults in the past but nothing would get me on an adult ward, school nursing is ok but frankly a little dull at times but it could suit you as its a complete change from the ward. I've also done loads of agency everywhere: every type imaginable wards, and A and E, clinics, nursing homes schools prisons the lot, I loved the variety, the advantage is that you don't get involved in departmental politics of you don't like it just refuse to go back, you only have to be 1/2 decent and you get numerous requests to go back and endless job offers, it's a good way to get to see a place before applying for a job, and I learnt loads just look interested and most ward staff are falling over themselves to teach you about their speciality hoping you'll come back or even better apply for a job. You also get paid weekly which was great. Your also free to work when you want or not, no hassle, less paper work.
You won't have forgotten your basic clinical skills, just don't be afraid to ask if you don't know no one will mind. Also when you have small children agency or bank, really comes into its own, you can pick and choose your hours, and take holiday when you like.
Good luck.

I was looking at an advert for a part time phlebotomy position in a private hospital. (London)

Excellent salary, company car and free private health insurance.