to be shit scared of getting cancer?

[watchingthebox]

n/c for this as worried I might cause offence to people have been affected, and this is really not my intention I promise

3 weeks and a third person in the public eye has died of this horrible disease. lemmy from motorhead, david bowie and today we have lost alan rickman :( ....all only in their late 60's . the stats are not good, and seem to be getting worse. isn't it now 50% of us are expected to get it?

it seems indiscriminate, you can be healthy, normal weight, not smoke, be fit etc and you can still get it

there just seems to be no escaping it....I am 36 and remember years ago it seemed to be quite rare and then only if people were heavy smokers and / or / elderly. but sorry to sound morbid people just seem to be getting it left right and centre nowadays

i had a scare myself a couple of years ago, found a lump, needed a biopsy, thankfully was nothing. but i will never forget those few weeks of hell it made me physically ill, I lost tons of weight, couldn't eat or sleep or function. since then it has been on my mind a lot.

death itself actually doesn't scare me. if i dropped dead tomorrow then so be it. what scares me is the idea of losing a loved one. or it happening to me, falling ill and being told i am going to die. and sort of, waiting to die. possibly going through treatment getting my hopes up and it doesnt work. again I am sorry if this post is morbid or offensive to anyone ...I do suffer from health anxiety so that doesn't help

I identify with so many posts here.

I am another one with health anxiety and cancer is my particular fear. My parents died 10 weeks apart from cancer, aged 65 and 66. They were non-smokers, healthy-eaters, didn't drink much, very active (skiing, cycling, gym etc).

Since their deaths two years ago, I have visited my GP more times than I care to remember! I have had two mammograms, a pelvic scan and two mole scans.

I am well aware that it is spoiling the 'here and now' but I find it impossible to control it. Unsurprisingly, all the anxiety is causing physical symptoms which then creates more worry. Vicious cycle!

I am now on a high dose of Sertraline and on a waiting list for CBT. I am also doing yoga and meditation.

Hope you find a way to live more peacefully OP.

Yanbu but worrying can make you unwell.

I'm a bit concerned about having root canals done, some sites link them to cancer

I totally, completely understand OP. I have terrible health anxiety. I've tried everything to cope with it, including CBT, and nothing has worked...it goes through periods when it's better, and periods when it's horrendous. Being pregnant has made it a lot worse.

However, it isn't true, really, that more people are getting it or more people are getting it younger now - the real truth is that actually more people are getting diagnosed a lot earlier now and having treatment. There is a lot more awareness (amongst both doctors and patients) of what symptoms to look out for earlier. So that is why it probably seems more and more people are diagnosed - they are being diagnosed, but they would have always had it, IYSWIM.

Also people are living much longer now so older people are getting diagnosed with cancers.

I'm a bit concerned about having root canals done, some sites link them to cancer

If you look on the internet you'll find all sorts of bollocks linking basically anything to cancer. You need to be really careful about the source of your information. The link between root canals and cancer has been totally debunked. I've attached a link with a readable explanation of how and why (scroll down to "myth 2").

www.aae.org/patients/treatments-and-procedures/root-canals/myths-about-root-canals-and-root-canal-pain.aspx

agree with purple. IME the absolute worst thing you can do with health anxiety is feed it by reading anything that isn't based in scientific fact from reputable organisations. you will scare yourself silly otherwise.

YANBU, I felt like this after my dad died of lung cancer last year at 69 (what is with this age!?) and sometime still feel the same, especially after the last few weeks. But then I think.. Well 69 isn't that young, basically 70. All 3 of those people smoked, they are famous so will have probably drank more than the average person, it's the lifestyle. Bowie and Lemmy did a lot of drugs back in the day. Fast paced lives. My dad smoked like a chimney. I do think there is some genetic element to cancer but people put themselves at more risk of these genes mutating by not looking after themselves.

Most people I know who have had cancer have either been a current smoker or excessive drinker.
Trigger from Only Fools died on this day 2 years ago, aged 69 from cancer!

Just look after yourself but don't miss out on lifes pleasures in moderation

U2
Yes about the pain! My dad was on minimal morphine and was really suffering at the end. They finally got some big doses for him, delivered after he'd passed away..

I don't think it's an unusual thing to worry about. You only have to Google any common health symptom and you've got it!

Kurrikurri speaks sense though :)

I was diagnosed with thyroid papillary cancer in my thirties. Tbh I wasn't afraid anymore and just went along with the process of healing, surgery and radiation. My view is that I don't want my loved ones getting cancer but I wouldn't feel worried if I had it again.

thanks for all the replies....I am sorry to hear of peoples experiences, both with cancer itself be it a loved one or themselves, and also sorry to hear so many have this bloody health anxiety! (I didn't even know it was even a "thing" till mumsnet tbh)

I should perhaps go back to the doctor about it but tbh I am embarrassed because I feel its not a "real" problem, I will probably go in there moaning about being scared of getting an illness that I currently have no symptoms of, and the next patient might be someone who actually does say have a breast lump or other worrying symptoms! I feel I am just being silly

interesting that some say they would rather have cancer or similar than be hit by a bus and die instantly (I paraphrase) ...I would rather die instantly ...quite selfish of me I guess as I imagine that would be harder on the ones I left behind. but I feel I would never cope with knowing I had limited time iyswim.

I try not to worry about cancer - 50% won't get it and there have been very few cases in the family (grandmother who smoked had (bowel?) cancer and died at 91). I tell myself it won't happen to me, you'd go mad if you worried about everything that could kill you horribly. I think people are scared of cancer as well because the treatment is so vile.

What worries me more is that my father, my aunt (his sister) and my uncle (on my mother's side) all have Parkinsons. I would say that genetically speaking I could be utterly stuffed. Admittedly they have all been diagnosed late in life (both my father and uncle around 79, aunt only this year and she's 90). And I'm not aware of anyone else in the family having it. But I have the occasional dream where I'm able to "break through" and shout out loud, and apparently that is an early warning sign for Parkinsons, years before you get it as you are supposed to be paralysed when asleep and therefore not able to shout out loud.

My great-grandmother died at 99 in her sleep. DH's grandfather died in his sleep on a train in his 70s.

I understand your worries, it has been a shock to see 3 famous people die of the same disease recently. However, my mum has a stroke at the age of 77 which left her paralysed, unable to speak or swallow food and was in a nursing home, just lying in a bed for 4 years until she finally died. It was so distressing to witness as there was nothing we could do to help her. My dad has had dementia and has been slowly going blind, he's now in a nursing home. He's unable to do anything really now. It's terrified me that I'll end up like either of them, living a half life, vulnerable and utterly dependent on others. They were both relatively healthy but I guess it's just old age. We've all got to die of something eventually and it's never going to be pleasant!

I do think there is some genetic element to cancer but people put themselves at more risk of these genes mutating by not looking after themselves.
I don't mean to be argumentative bill, but the BRCA2 gene means that I had an 80% chance of getting breast cancer and about 40% of getting ovarian. There's really nothing I could have done to prevent it, so while I agree that lifestyle factors are to blame for the majority of cancers, it's simply incorrect to say that if I'd had a better lifestyle I wouldn't have got cancer.

Cancer had always been one of those worries in the back of my mind but I didn't really worry until Dh was diagnosed in August. To me, it was something I may get in old age or something and nothing to worry about for a few years! Then dh was diagnosed and it's really increased the anxiety, he doesn't drink alcohol, doesn't smoke and was always fit and off and about doing all sorts. He was 37 when diagnosed and we have 3 young children.

He's due to have his last scheduled treatment soon. I am worried that the cancer won't be gone, that if it has gone it'll come back, that I may get cancer, that the children might... It is exhausting.

I'm realising that a trip to the doctor might be in order soon, I am sleeping well most of the time but still so tired I'm yawning throughout the day like I haven't slept a wink. I feel like I have no energy and cant be bothered with things. I'm holding everything together to keep things as normal as I can for the children but when we've had the results meeting in a couple of months I feel I may drop.

The positive things I've found since his diagnosis is that I am capable of more than I thought I was, I don't worry too much about the silly little things that I used to, and we've been proactive and made wills, got things sorted 'just in case'.

Weebarra Of course, sorry if I sounded like I was stating fact! I meant it to sound like that is the case a lot of the time, not all the time.. Sometimes it's all genetic like in your case and that's shit.

Wonder why you do OP, and others don't? Worry that is.
I don't worry.
I don't want a long term thing, where I am in pain and how poor quality of life. I'd rather pop and pill and die that way. That is something I probably 'fear' more, than cancer.

3 weeks and a third person in the public eye has died of this horrible disease

I have come to terms with the fact that 1/3 of us will get cancer, and likely die from it. seems to be the trade off for (a) longer life expectancy and (b) a world riddled with man made chemicals

I am more worried about the palliative care I get when I die, and fully plan on my 1-way ticket to Switzerland

yeah,. I got this anxiety too OP

GuyMartinsSideburns. not RTWT but saw you OP, I am so sorry, and I am in no way surprised you are tired, its fucking HUGE and your body is telling you how stressed you are.

oh guymartin that sounds incredibly tough ....I hope your dh is ok x

For myself I'd rather die instantly
For my family it wouldn't be so good. My cat died suddenly recently, with absolutely no warning, and it was awful because I would have cuddled her more and not binned her off my lap the night before if that makes sense, and not told her off for trying to murder me by crossing in front of me on the stairs for the 100th time that day

But I'd want my affairs in order. Clear that cheeky credit card bill, sort my wardrobe and stuff out, organise my photos. Have my passwords written down for DH. That kind of thing! Interview a nanny, scroll about on Tinder and discuss the qualities of his future 2nd wife!

Small stuff in the overall scheme of things though.

I do have life insurance though, and a decent pension, and he knows that if I die young/while the children are still young, that I want to be buried not cremated, so they can visit my grave (I don't know why this trumps ashes in a vase, but there you go)

YANBU. My little brother is fighting it for the 2nd time at the age of 26. It's horrid, and I wouldn't wish it on someone I hated. I worry all the time about what would happen if I should get it.

I don't worry that much about cancer. I'd rather go at 69 from cancer than live to my 90s with dementia and multiple disabilities. That scares me a whole lot more.

Boo bsy
I'm interested in your research re giving self best chance ?
I've been of the I'm indestructable brigade but now re considering !!!