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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To want to live in a fur free home?

105 replies

Yulia989 · 13/01/2016 14:31

Background: Three years ago me and my partner got together. He has a dog. THere was no question of the dog leaving despite my allergy, but I didn't mind as I could deal with it with antihistamine, as long as the dog was kept downstairs and off the furniture. A year ago we had our son and moved to a different house. Recently the amount of fur shed by the dog is ridiculous. We've got a dyson pet hoover, but even hoovering every day, within hours the floor is covered in fur again. The fur gets everywhere - on the furniture, the kitchen counters, the beds - just from being moved around. With our son crawling this is causing me real upset, as every time I pick him up he's covered in fur, and I'm ashamed to say that sometimes it makes me not want to pick him up because of my allergies and the hygiene issue. I'm afraid to bring it up with my partner because last time it turned into a big row over the dog leaving my car covered in fur and me "acting like the dog is a burden". I just want to live in a clean, fur-free home, and have my son play on the floor and come up without fur all over him. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Yulia989 · 13/01/2016 15:43

Yeah sorry - "fur free" was a bit ambitious. Just less fur around would make my life much better.

I'm going to text him now and suggest brushing daily, I'll even buy the furminator brush.

OP posts:
meditrina · 13/01/2016 15:44

I think when people say the dog was there first, they mean the dog was in DP's household first, and the roof that if over that household is secondary to the lives within it.

So I'm leaning towards YABU.

But you need to tell tour DP that he must find the time to brush the dog. It really will make a big difference.

HermioneJeanGranger · 13/01/2016 15:45

Why isn't he brushing his pet? He really needs to do it everyday, it only takes a couple of minutes.

Original poster
Yulia989 · 13/01/2016 15:48

I don't understand the "dog was there first" argument.

What are you arguing? I'm not asking for the dog to go.

OP posts:
SuperCee7 · 13/01/2016 15:49

YANBU to want a fur free home. I love cats and dogs and I hate pet hair, really hate it. But that's life.

YABU to be complaining about it now, you knew he had a dog when you moved in together.

HermioneJeanGranger · 13/01/2016 15:50

I don't understand the "dog was there first" argument.

Because you said you wanted a fur-free home, which isn't possible when you have a furry animal around. You moved in with someone who had a dog, so what did you expect to happen?

Original poster
Yulia989 · 13/01/2016 15:52

YABU to be complaining about it now, you knew he had a dog when you moved in together.

Yeah but we didn't have a baby at the time, and the dog didn't shed as much. What if the dog started going to toilet in the kitchen? Would I have to just accept it because I know he had a dog when we moved in together?

OP posts:
CheerfulYank · 13/01/2016 15:53

Furminators are the business! That plus a great vaccuum should help.

HermioneJeanGranger · 13/01/2016 15:54

But dogs do have accidents, and do get incontinent in old age. I have a cat who shits on the floor sometimes. It's horrible, but I knew it was something that might happen with pets. You can train them, but when they're sick or old, they have accidents.

If you don't want to deal with any of these things, don't live with someone who has pets.

Yulia989 · 13/01/2016 15:59

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HermioneJeanGranger · 13/01/2016 16:02

Lol, you can't tell people where to post Hmm

I don't live with it. He does it and it gets cleaned, but he was abandoned as a kitten and he was never taught proper litter-tray behaviour. Animals shit.

And don't make your DP pick between you and his pet. He'll resent you forever.

descalina · 13/01/2016 16:38

Your DH needs to clear up after his dog properly, or it needs to live outside.

YANBU

gamerchick · 13/01/2016 16:43

He does need to brush his dog, that is the compromise.

It's a pity they won't stand there and let us Hoover them really.

GloGirl · 13/01/2016 16:44

Get the dog taken egularly to thegroomers for a proper wash, groom and blow dry out the dead hair. I agree with comment above about taking dog out for a walk and brushing him outside as part of that routine.

If your dog is elderly and craps on the floor, there is no "get rid" other than to kill the dog. This is a commitent intended to last 14 years, you knew he had a dog and really, dog hair and baby crawling in it should not have been any surprise at all.

SpecialStains · 13/01/2016 16:51

Can your partner take him to a doggy grooming place? Sounds poncy, but my parents have their jack Russell groomed whenever he goes to kennels. They do this weird thing to strip back his fur, and it makes him look half the size and like a puppy again! Maybe get into a routine of that. Sympathies - I'm not a huge fan of dogs, their fur and their smell.

GraysAnalogy · 13/01/2016 16:53

You knew he had a dog and got into that relationship, and had a baby knowing that.

What exactly do you want to happen? get rid of it?

GraysAnalogy · 13/01/2016 16:54

Yeah but we didn't have a baby at the time,

Yet you chose to have a baby knowing the dog still existed Confused

TimeToMuskUp · 13/01/2016 16:55

I agree with the suggestion of a dog groomer. There's a place near us where our idiot spaniel goes and comes back looking spectacular and fur-free (as in no loose-fur, not totally bald. Never seen a bald dog. Wonder if it'd be as ugly as those bald cats that look like testicles?). She sheds far less fur and dander when she's been groomed so I take her every couple of months. If she has long fur it's like living with a yeti.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 13/01/2016 16:58

Yeah I don't think I need the opinion of someone who is happy to live with cat shit on their floor. The dog would definitely be gone if it started doing that, we've got a baby crawling round ffs.

Thanks for your comments, please don't post in here again.

Blimey, how rude are you?? Shock

GraysAnalogy · 13/01/2016 17:04

The dog would definitely be gone if it started doing that,

You do realise when the dog gets older this is a possibility, they can suffer from incontinence?

If you got rid of an elderly dog for that reason you are a vile human being.

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 17:05

I sympathise OP, am also allergic to dogs and dislike fur in houses. Yes, you may have agreed before to live with the dog but things have changed (in a BIG way) and it is affecting you more now, so he should at least listen to your concerns rather than siding with the dog FFS! It sounds like your DH is being overly defensive about the dog and needs to grow up and have an adult discussion with you, particularly as you are not saying you want to get rid of it.

If he is genuinely very busy, would you be prepared to do the brushing/ Furminating?
( since the antihistamines seem to keep the allergy quite controllable, and you could wear gloves).
Can you agree to confine the dog to certain rooms?

iwantbrewstersmillions · 13/01/2016 17:06

So you would just kick the dog out if it had toilet problems because it might happen when they got older.

Our rescue cats poo outside their tray most days. Not saying I jump for joy and I've tried every solution but pets are part of the family and they can't help it

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 17:07

Come on Graysanalogy, pets becoming incontinent is one of the most common reasons for having them PTS. It is arguably cruel not to do it.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 13/01/2016 17:12

I'm wondering just how much fur a totey wee JR/corgi cross can possibly shed??

JessieMcJessie · 13/01/2016 17:17

VeryBitchy (name suits you by the way) people who are allergic notice fur a lot more than those who are not. The total amount of fur is irrelevant here; the point is that it is more than it used to be and it's upsetting the OP. I am sure she's not making it up just to annoy her partner and garner sympathy on Mumsnet.