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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Football matches and racism. Ds year 8

54 replies

Badbadtromance · 12/01/2016 16:27

Would I be unreasonable to stop ds year 8 travel by car two hours with another parents plus male relative yo a football match. What worries me is the racist chants and banana throwimg , drinking and fights. Its a first league match. I only know what I have seen on TV.

OP posts:
Collaborate · 12/01/2016 17:36

Let him go. You're just as likely these days to encounter racism walking down a street.

When I first took my kids (I had a season ticket at Anfield (Liverpool)) it was the swearing I was worried about. It was a real eye-opener for them both, but they never added those words to their vocabulary (at least not in front of me or my wife!).

Sandsnake · 12/01/2016 17:40

YABU. I go regularly and that sort of thing just doesn't happen and would not be tolerated by fellow fans / stewards if it did. Please let your son go, he'll love it. When I was about 12 my best friend at the time (an Asian girl) was desperate to go to a game with me at our local league club. Her parents wouldn't let her due to wanting to protect her from a perceived threat of racism. It was such a shame as she loved football and I'm sure would have really enjoyed coming to watch a game with me.

balletgirlmum · 12/01/2016 17:41

Year 8 as in aged 12-13? Not aged 8?

Hell probsbly hear plenty of swearing but nothing a year 8 boy won't have already heard at school.

As for the racist bansna throwing stuff - you might get some of that at Eastern european away matches (Russia etc) but I've been going the matches since the 80s & never seen that.

These days you can't do anything without stewards breathing down your neck.

YABVU.

ghostyslovesheep · 12/01/2016 17:44

is your TV tuned to 1986?

He will hear lots of choice language - he may hear the odd twat saying racist stuff and the adults he is with can obviously explain to him that it's wrong- just as everywhere else in the big wide world - he wont hear racist chanting as the norm or witness banana throwing

stardusty5 · 12/01/2016 17:51

I rarely hear bad langauge, and have never heard racist langauge at football matches I attend. There are always lots of children having fun.

DoctorTwo · 12/01/2016 18:21

I used to go to football every week and at the club I went to any racism is blasted down by other supporters. The last time I saw violence outside a ground was 1989 at fucking WOKINGHAM of all places. That was down to Chelsea, West Ham and Millwall hooligans who wanted to kick the shit out of some non-league fans.

I took DS there from the age of 2. When other fans swore excessively I'd point him out and they'd apologise and stop.

BeverlyGoldberg · 12/01/2016 19:12

Helpfulchap Were we the same pub! PM me the teams Grin

Lndnmummy · 12/01/2016 19:20

My son who is mixed race will not be going to any football matches as a child. Decided by his black father (who is a massive football fan and who played at Aston Villa in his very youth).

scarlets · 12/01/2016 20:23

I've definitely heard sweary language at football (no worse than on Mumsnet though, and it doesn't bother me anyway) but I've never heard racist comments or chants at matches.

I've heard it at a England v Wales rugby match though (England fan chanting, "I'd rather wear a turban than a leek")

Your Y8 child is old enough to rise above it, regardless. He won't hear anything he hasn't already heard, and presumably he's too intelligent to copy it. I hope he enjoys the match.

Herrerarerra · 13/01/2016 02:17

As seasidesally said it can be expensive so hope that it doesn't become a habit Wink
We get the train from the Midlands to Manchester and we've been to 11 matches this season so far - factor in match tickets, train travel and food (meal deals from Sainsburys at the station to keep costs down) and it's around £100 a time. The ridiculous thing is that out of all of that, my son's match ticket only ever costs £13 with him being under 16.
Still, it's something that we can do together, we both love football and it's nice that at 15 he's prepared to still have an afternoon/evening out with his Mom. And he's lucky that I love it because his Dad hates it (and he'd hate it even more if he knew how much it cost Hmm).

ChristineDePisan · 13/01/2016 02:46

I would let him go too (the only fixture I won't let DS go to is Millwall away, so if it's at the Den then disregard that!)

SalemSaberhagen · 13/01/2016 03:11

Really Paul? What is funny about banana throwing at non white players?

araiba · 13/01/2016 03:15

where is the match? 1970?

all clubs and most supporters will do something about any racism. In England is really is becoming a non-issue. If you live in Spain, italy, eastern europe or scotland then there are problems there

Ludways · 13/01/2016 03:38

My DS year 9, regularly goes to see two teams, a championship side and a northern league side and he has never heard any racism, plenty of bad language though.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 13/01/2016 04:51

What have you seen in tv? Old 70's replays? Because banana throwing didn't happen In the 90s so I very very much doubt it happens now.
In fact I support a team Cyril Regis one of the players that was famously abused in the 70s and 80s played for in the 90s and I remember him ver clearly doing an interview about the racism when he first started and pretty much everyone phoned in to the radio station going we know it happened but it's so alien to to think about.

Theres been a massive kick racism out of football campaign since the 90's. We've had the likes of John Barnes, and Paul Ince be lauded as England heroes and caption the national side.

How old is your son? 8 years old or year 8 ie 14? Because I've been going to football since I was 6 in the 80's just was in the family stand by the time I was 14 I was a season ticket holder in what used to be the home terrace where the die hards sat.

Yes plenty of bad language but certianly at 14 I heard at school anyway!

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 13/01/2016 04:56

You might want to read this site to see how much racism really isn't tolarated by anyone in football www.kickitout.org

knobblyknee · 13/01/2016 05:15

Racism isnt catching. If he's not racist he'll be disgusted by it. Let him go.

TooSassy · 13/01/2016 05:58

YABU.

My DC's have both been (one is younger than yours) and LOVE it.
Racism is actually pretty frowned on now amongst most fans (I went to a match when I was younger and other fans took on someone who used racist language). People will be removed immediately for racist incidents.

Re the bad language? My two came home and I asked them did they learn any new interesting (bad) words. They said they heard one or two. They followed it swiftly by but mummy we know never to say them. They never have.

Let them go. It's a rite of passage and he'll really really enjoy himself

WahhHelpMe · 13/01/2016 06:12

Banana throwing and Racism, as someone said before would be Italy or Russia/ Ukraine perhaps Spain to some extent. Mostly Russia I believe in the UK I would say you're generally fine outside the stadiums I've always seen peace 99% of the time even between different fans, except for a Derby but even then they sort themselves out mostly as its hooliganism isn't part of the game any more it's not 2:28 get off the station 2:40 attack some people in an alleyway game 3pm kick off, 5 o clock Barney before train home for 5:49. Everyone's there for a laugh and with racism and everything thankfully less accepted than it were, even on the off chance of something being said the person would have it be known to shut up or piss off. He should be fine, especially with adult company

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 13/01/2016 06:55

Oh hoolisgim really isn't tolarated in anyway these days. The clubs get massively sanctioned if even one person goes on the pitch or is caught on CCTV (and all grounds have that) even trying to insight an incident.

Football has come a very very long way from the banana throwing, pushing everyone against fences, fights before during and after matches!

thecitydoc · 13/01/2016 10:17

I think you are living in the 1970s when racism was a problem at some grounds and amongst some supporters. I have been going to football match -Manchester City and Celtic - since mid-1960s and I have never heard any racist chants or seen bananas thrown on to the pitch. Let the boy go

araiba · 13/01/2016 10:29

I have been going to football match -Manchester City and Celtic - since mid-1960s and I have never heard any racist chants

really? celtic?

the two big glasgow clubs are the two grounds i would never go to for fear of all sorts of craziness in a very bad way

NetballHoop · 13/01/2016 10:43

I have never heard any racist chanting at the matches I have have taken my DCs to, and have never felt unsafe.

I've only ever been in the "Home" end though, away fans tend to be a bit more boisterous, so you might prefer to avoid away games.

goldierocks · 13/01/2016 10:47

Hello OP.... I have been taking my DS to two premier league matches a year since he was in Y7 (the team we support is 200+ miles away from where we live and it takes over three hours to get there - it's not Man U!)

Do you know if the tickets are in the family area? They have these sections at most league grounds now. In our case, this area is VERY heavily marshaled. 'Normal' swearing isn't allowed never mind anything worse. Marshals give one warning then eject any offenders. I've never, ever seen racist chanting or banana throwing from either set of supporters in any part of the stadium.

We've also never had a problem with any drunk people nor have we seen any fights. I thought I might have a problem on one visit when a group of fans were sitting in our reserved train seats for the journey home, but they were really nice and moved with no drama at all.

If it's something your son really wants to do, then I think YABU to refuse.

balletgirlmum · 13/01/2016 12:45

The city- have you been to a manchester Derby recently. Thinking of taking ds but we would have to go on the train and ds (aged 12 & ASD) can't quite understand that his friendly 'banter ' might not alwYs be appreciated.

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