to hate the term 'passive aggressive' so much ?

[mrsfuzzy]

frequently heard on mn, and it seems to be an 'in' expression, what expressions irritate you. do't be 'judgy' or 'entitled' either !smile

Whenever a name changer writes 'Pom Bear!' 'PenisBeaker!' 'Yoni!' 'Lemon Drizzle Cake!' to indicate they aren't a troll.

Not an expression, but it grates a little.

"No is a complete sentence" (or something along those lines).

"Did you mean to be so rude?"

Both of them really grate on me

i think this thread might grate a few people tbh !

Lots of people in life are very passive aggressive though, so it's useful phrase. Perhaps people use it too much on MN I'm not sure.

'Does he have any redeeming features? / Is he always this controlling?' anytime OP's DH does something inconsiderate / has a different viewpoint to OP.

It's laughable.

"No is a complete sentence" (or something along those lines)

Yes, let's all just go around barking 'NO!' at friends, family, acquaintances and colleagues whenever they think things should/could be done differently. Definitely the route to a harmonious life

Half the time I think people just regurgitate phrases they recall from someone else without considering their deeper implications or unsuitability for the situation under discussion.

Those "I'm not a troll" platitudes could easily be copied by a troll so they're pretty pointless.

Whether you hate it or not is irrelevant really, OP. It is a long-established descriptive term for a specific kind of (very common) behaviour. You may not lile the way it is [mis]used but it's not an 'in' term - that would be like saying 'anxious' is 'in'.

Unfortunately there are many, many people who are unable to express their own feelings or viewpoints - and so this hidden anger or resentment manifests itself in other ways.

It took me ages to work out what passive aggressive actually is, because so often on here it is used incorrectly. It completely befuddled me till I Googled it obvs

Narcissistic, or worse, the handy abbreviation "narc".

Used to describe mums who don't drop everything for their grown up children.

I quite like passive aggressive.

I hate anything along the lines of-

I've just been to the grip shop and have some spare, would you like one?

Have you dropped your grip, do you need help finding it?

Or any of the seemingly endless 'funny' get a grip sentences.

That was quite cathartic, thanks op

Anyone who says stuff like - "If you don't think 'x' or feel 'y' then you must be a 'z' kind of person".

Such arrogance to think they can know and determine who a person is!

you're welcome elsa !

People use the term passive aggressive on here to describe any interaction where someone has tried their best to be diplomatic and tactful, apparently some people seem to want a stand up barney to resolve any given issue. Like they go around doing that in rl

But to be fair that's the trouble with the written word. From one person a sentence can read as being diplomatic but from another person that same sentence might come across as pass agg.

Whether you hate it or not is irrelevant really, OP. It is a long-established descriptive term for a specific kind of (very common) behaviour. You may not lile the way it is [mis]used but it's not an 'in' term - that would be like saying 'anxious' is 'in'.

^^this - sorry OP! I can't get on board with hating 'passive aggressive'. It's a perfectly sensible description of some people's behaviour.

There's a lot of stuff on here which irritates the hell out of me though. The worst for me is "you should be grateful you have a [insert name of relative / friend / pet here]". It's a lazy and nasty argument some people like to wheel out on here and it makes me . Occasionally it's relevant but often not.

I'm not passive aggressive. But I could be. Just sayin'.

YABU. I frequently see posters on here being PA and will call them out on it. It's as bad as people who are joke and then say "It was just a joke, god, you've got no sense of humour!"

If you're going to be rude / an ass, and you get called out on it, as least have the decency to admit to it, not blub "You took it the wrong way!"

I really dislike 'I'm going NC with X'. What's wrong with 'I've stopped talking to X'?

"I really dislike 'I'm going NC with X'. What's wrong with 'I've stopped talking to X'?""

Because there's a difference between stopping speaking to someone and going NC (which applies to their and your children) with a family member that lives in the same city as you.

Only when it's used about these -> :) sometimes they are just genuine, friendly smiles!!!

"No is a complete sentence"

I had never encountered this before MN, and am eternally grateful having found it. I haven't had occasion to use it, and hope I never do. However, it's a powerful reminder that when saying "no" there is no obligation to give any more information.

A point frequently underscored by the posts where someone says "no" and is coerced into explaining their reasons which are then forensically examined for truth by the other party in a manner which can only be described as bullying.

So this phrase is an antidote to the natural urge to politeness we all have which can be exploited by some.

Birds - I'm still not seeing it Surely then that's just stopping talking to X and stopping the kids seeing X's kids?

Granted, if that's what that means, 'going NC' has the advantage of brevity. But the phrase just grates. It's so pompous somehow.