My SS is 18 and still on his christmas break from uni. We've just had a massive row and he's stormed off to his mums house and i feel like shit. Basically, we've never really got on, but i've tried really hard as he's only here at weekends. I find him lazy, selfish and entitled. I gave him a lift the other night to his friends house (after he literally stamped his feet when i said no!) and he said he would be back that night/early morning. On the way i spoke to him calmly about how i understand it's difficult to be back in a family environment after the freedom of being at uni, but we are a functioning family household with a 7 year old, and he needs to be considerate about the noise he makes and the general stomping around. We have a rule that if you aren't coming home, you text or fb message. I think it's fair - no details, just confirmation that he's safe. So, i didn't hear from him until 7pm the next night…was a bit concerned but assumed his phone had died and he was being inconsiderate. He said he'd been too busy to let me know - which annoyed me but i kept quiet.
I arrange tea times according to his schedule, i give him lifts..anything for a quiet life. Conversations are strained.
Tonight, after 2 times of me asking him to keep the noise down i snapped and shouted at him to use his headphones. He shouted at me, so i took my laptop away from him. We then got into the "my house, my rules" thing. My husband is completely on his side all the time and just says he's inconsiderate and to leave it. My problem is i feel like I'm on eggshells whenever he comes over and i don't feel like i should be in my own home. He says it's his home, i say at 18 if you don't like the rules - you find somewhere else. I did! I know i'm pretty bossy and can get passionate, but I'm not nasty. I love him to bits, but can't live with him. I've told him he can come back if he apologises. AIBU?