I am trying to improve my relationship with my MIL but I find it very hard when she says stuff like this, AIBU?

[Addictedtocustardcreams]

I overheard my MIL say the following to my DD yesterday, she is 3.
MIL: do you want to come and stay at my house?
DD: no my house
MIL: why? Don't you love me?
This exchange was then repeated with DD looking increasingly anxious.
At this point I intervened & asked MIL to stop.
Is this normal? It doesn't feel OK to me. Am I over-reacting?

I'm also with NanaNina

No, that isn't a fair thing to say to a child. No child should need a reason for not wanting to spend a night away from home. And clearly, she was too young to understand it was said (supposedly) tongue in cheek.

I wouldn't have let this past either, simply because it wouldn't pass my 'Is this good for DD or not?' test. It would confuse and unsettle my DD and I would have no problem with saying, 'Silly Grannie, of course she loves you. What a thing to say. DD just doesn't feel like it yet'.

This is exactly the sort of thing my MIL used to say. She was quite jealous, I rapidly became scrupulously fair about how much time dd spent with mum and MIl, as MIl would quiz me obsessively about how long mum had spent with her, how many times, every week. I didn't go nc, as I thought the relationship was important to both of them, and also it was important to dh that we were all 'friends', though barely spent 5 minutes in the same room as her himself ("I want to kill her, Jux, she drives me mad" - oh but it's different for me is it?!).

Anyway, I just tried to gloss over the silly or more obvious things, counteract if necessary, and over about 3 years removed myself from the situation and let dh take over.

DD is now 16 and no serious harm has been done! But keep an eye on it, op.