To think my best friend can't take 5 minutes out of her busy day?

[Icandoanything]

My best friend works for a national company that sells school uniform and last week I asked if she could get me some t-shirts for my son on her discount, which she said was fine, but to remind her on 9th/10th as that's when she gets paid. I text her today with the details saying that if she told me how much they would be, I'd transfer it to her and could she order them today or tomorrow.

Her reply was, sorry but I can't do it today, am working all weekend and barely have time to eat. Call me on Weds and I'll do it.

I know this may seem a bit petty, but as far as I'm aware, it would take all of 5 mins to do it, and I fail to believe she hasn't got literally that time to do it, even on the train to and from work. Also, I know she has a high-pressured job, but it's not like she's saving lives working 18 hour days. Saying she barely has time to eat seems a bit dramatic to me, and I know what her work hours are like - they are long but not the way she is portraying.

I think I'm so annoyed because it's not only this. She lives in London, I'm in the East Midlands and the last time she visited me was June 2014. For my birthday in June, I suggested a weekend away in Newcastle which my other friends were really up for, and she said Air BnB was too expensive at £50 a night, despite earning twice as much as me and having booked a holiday to Barbados! It all just seems very one sided at the moment.

I know I could just let it slide, but it makes me wonder if pursuing this friendship is worth it, if a 5 minute favour is too much to ask!

[Only1scoop]

She fobbed you off to 9/10th and has now fobbed you off a few more days.

Don't demean yourself by asking again.

[Icandoanything]

No, I wasn't intending to ask again. I got the message from her!

[Saxons]

It's totally acceptable and normal for someone to do something in their own good time. It's unfair to expect someone to do something straight away because it suits you. She's doing you a favor after all.

I also think its fine for people to say rooms/flights are too expensive. A holiday has to meet everyone's expectations.

If you want to see more of your friend, talk to her. Explain you'd like her to visit you more often.

It might be that while she's your best friend, she has quite a few close friends.

[shazzarooney99]

Have you been in touch with her without asking for favours?

[SevenOfNineTrue]

I think you are unreasonable asking to use her discount. People can get sacked if they get found out.

[rosewithoutthorns]

OP, things change when you have a child. I think it's more about you feeling sad but choosing the "being cross" approach instead.

Leave it and don't ask again. See what she does about it.

[Icandoanything]

I think you're right rosewithoutthorns, this isn't just about the t-shirts.

I can't really put the history of our friendship on mumsnet but just to say that my birthday suggestion wasn't expensive for our friendship circle, more expected to be honest! The restaurants that the others do for their birthdays are of a similar price to the whole weekend for my birthday

[DameMargaretofChalfont]

If I hadn't seen a friend since June 2014 there's no way I'd be asking for her staff discount.

Sounds a bit cheeky of you OP.

[Icandoanything]

I have seen her since 2014, she hasn't been HERE since then.

[rosewithoutthorns]

Asking a friend for a discount is hardly a bad thing to do

If I were you OP I'd just hide this thread. It's only going to serve to make you feel worse.

[Icandoanything]

Anyway, as I said again, thanks for your opinions

[Saxons]

When she told you to remind her on the 9th, she was obviously concentrating on having enough cash to do the transaction. However once the date arrived, she was surprisingly quite busy. And yes you really just have to take her at her word for being busy. What's a few days waiting anyway?! It makes you sound pedantic

[rosewithoutthorns]

It's very painful when a good friend seems to have left you behind. This happened to me with someone I grew up with, I had to leave it and get on with my own life. We are now very close again.

[TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge]

If the price of £50 a night,or way more just for a meal, is the general and 'accepted' cost of birthday celebrations in your friendship group, why are you moaning about her not wanting to pay it -saying she managed a holiday to Barbados- yet you want her staff discount on your childs school shirts because the £5/£6 quid saved on them will make a difference to you?!?!?!

[Saxons]

I think you need to talk to her and ask her to visit more often.

[ThruUlikeAshortcut]

I would cut her some slack - things are tough for employees at the moment, it's an employers market, if you're not pulling your weight you're out, people are working through lunch breaks, having to do the work of two people due to redundancies - everyone is on tenterhooks clinging on to their jobs and mindful of the fact that there are thousands of people out there willing to step in and take over for less money.

You say she earns twice as much as you did but living in London is damn expensive! Fares have gone up, rents and mortgages are through the roof, food is expensive. Just back off a little bit sounds like she is under a lot of pressure.

[MissBattleaxe]

She may earn more than but she lives in London so her outgoings are likely to be more than yours too.

[backinthebox]

I am able to get discounts for friends and family at work. It's not as quick a process to apply for them as people think it is. Over the years I have been asked so many times to look up prices for something, taken the time to do it, and then been told they don't want the discount I am able to get and that I am only fussed to waste my time when I have time to spare. And I am often very busy. This does not mean I don't like my friends and family, it just means that I will only apply for discounts for them when I have the time and more importantly when they are prepared to sit with me while I look and commit there and then to making a booking - if they can't be bothered I can't be bothered either. It really irritates me when people keep nagging me for a discount, especially because I know the worst naggers are also the ones who are most likely to say 'I know you put the time and effort in but I don't want it now because I can get it cheaper elsewhere.' And don't get me started on people who ask for upgrades....

[Itscliffmas]

I think yabu about the t shirts as something could have happened meaning that she has more on her plate than she expected this weekend.

It sounds like it is the straw that broke the camels back though, and I understand where you're coming from, I stopped speaking to my best friend a few years ago because he didn't send me a Birthday card (that was the straw that broke the camels back for me after a long period of feeling like you do now) there was no big falling out no upset I just walked away, we occasionally speak and it's all good I just invest my time into people that are less selfish these days.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

Most people are not allowed to use their staff discount for mates - in some firms it's prohibited in fact

Let it slide OP

[expatinscotland]

Wouldn't dream of asking for a discount. I'd be afraid she could get sacked.

[MsPavlichenko]

She might be overdrawn, for example so has to wait till she is in credit. Especially at this time of year.