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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have let DS (5) spend all day on the x-box (also most of the Xmas holidays)

96 replies

FatArsedSofaSloth · 09/01/2016 15:43

I get quite worried that it may affect his eyesight/brain.

He doesn't want to go out on his new bike and I can't be arsed to make him, it's wet and grey and he will whinge, pretend he can't pedal and we will give up after 5 mins anyway.

I have set up painting and he painted a rainbow which took precisely 2 minutes so now have all the paint to clear away for nothing!

I can't stand taking him to softplay paying for over priced warm mochas for me and slushies that give him brain freeze, and the other DC are 'rude' to him and hit him anyway. I did my duty last week.

He is snotty so swimming is out and I am so fat, I can't risk it for fear of being harpooned.

If he had friends over, he would only want to play on the x-box, ipad anyway, cue disapproving looks from the other parent.

We have done the library already this week after school.

He has been on there on and off since 8am Shock, DH let him on it before he went to work Angry. It's all he talks of from the time he gets up.

He is quite happy when on it although gets a bit red faced through to the stress of being eaten.

Other (teenage) DC have been on their phones/fighting with little DS for x-box/raiding the fridge all day.

Feel like a shit parent. Obviously when spring comes we will be out and about more on weekends.

Am I BU to leave him in peace (making him run on the spot occasionally) until then?

OP posts:
ChubbyChubster · 09/01/2016 18:02

So you're worried about it but just can't be arsed to do anything about it? Righty ho Hmm

GloGirl · 09/01/2016 18:04

Sounds to me that if he's at home all day he's on it all day. I would think that it would be good for him to be bored sometimes and not expect the only entertainment in life to come from a games console. Certainly not at 5.

I would probably instigate a bit of a timetable, it's what has helped me keep TV time limited for my younger kids. No Xbox till after 10am etc. Those kinds of rules. As said thr first day will be a drag but he will learn to entertain himself.

wizzywig · 09/01/2016 18:13

OP i know how you feel. My kids are young like yours and spend way too much time on ipads etc. They have various disabilities so i cant take them out, my partner sees nothing wrong with them spending 24 hours a day online as he would happily do the same thing.

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/01/2016 18:17

A child with a cold had been on and off the Xbox all day, that's entirely normal.

Yes, but OP has also said he was on it for pretty much the entirety of the Christmas holidays! That's not normal or healthy for a child as young as five - they're too young to decide how they spend all their time.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 18:20

I think that's pretty normal actually. Did he get games for Christmas? If so he's probably excited.

Would anyone mind if he read books all day?

HermioneJeanGranger · 09/01/2016 18:21

Books are not the same as a screen Hmm we're not talking about teens or adults, we're talking about a five year old. I don't know how anyone can argue that two weeks of screens is a good thing for such a young child (being seriously ill/bedridden an exception).

Alrighty · 09/01/2016 18:27

I think it's too much.Set up a time limit,if it's miserable outside you don't need to go out,let him get bored and find himself something to do! And why the angry face at your DH for letting him play before he went out when you leave him on it all day?

Artandco · 09/01/2016 18:29

I wouldn't think that's very good at all. At 5 they really do need daily exercise and to do things with you or outside

Mine are 5. They would be crazy if they had been indoors most of the last month.

If you go into the museums, tip, never go to science or history on a weekend. Go to he smaller less known ones as not so busy. The national gallery and victors and Albert are large ones but far less busy in comparison. Take pencil and sketch book to national gallery and he can sketch things and they have nice cafe. The museum of London is also very nice

eastwest · 09/01/2016 18:37

Painting and library are not just one-offs, are they? Once he'd painted a rainbow couldn't he paint something else? And what about going to the library again, or reading the books you borrowed together?
I do sympathise about it being hard to get outside, it is miserable when you're stuck somewhere small. We are in a very small place nd it is difficult when it is raining all day.
Some stuff that works for us with DC, 3 - playing cards (like snap), some building kits from The Works that are cheap , or lego/ duplo, drawing, sticker books (Usborne's are great), play-dough, toy cars (cost about £1.99 each from a supermarket usually). A lot of these would entertain a 5 year old as well, I think.

eastwest · 09/01/2016 18:39

I really do sympathise though - the weekends are shit.

PurpleHairAndPearls · 09/01/2016 18:48

Do you have a garden?

PurpleHairAndPearls · 09/01/2016 18:49

Or any outdoor space - even if paved?

Lurkedforever1 · 09/01/2016 18:55

Yabu. I wouldn't want dd (12) sat staring at a screen that much, and definitely not age 5.

You say you feel too fat to go swimming, is that how you want your kids to feel as adults? Kids don't melt in the rain, and nobody whose opinion is worth anything cares what you look like in a costume. Limit the screen time and get in some physical activity.

MrsMook · 09/01/2016 19:07

I'm finding it a hard, joyless winter for getting out. I've dragged my 5 year old out for a few muddy walks in the wood, that he's finally enjoyed once he's got going. I don't like pushing it too much as I don't want negative associations with playing out. Our garden is a miserable, saturated swap. As is the local park. There are few indoor attractions in the area, as most things are outdoors and run from March to October.

Mine is quite good at accepting restrictions on screen time. Even with Lego, when he's been concentrating on it for prolonged periods, he gets grouchy and short tempered. (Lego is his big obsession). It takes far longer to set up crafts and clean up than he spends using them, although washing all the paint off his face and body makes for a good play in the bath after Grin

It is worth breaking the time up though.

YouBastardSockBalls · 09/01/2016 19:13

The reason he lacks ability to entertain himself/play normal child games/play out happily on his bike is almost certainly because he plays too many computer games.

You asked - and I think that it is wrong, and is lazy parenting. But you were soliciting for opinions.

melonribena · 09/01/2016 19:14

You don't have to go in country walks, ds could take a scooter/bike and just go to the local shops or pop to a friends for a coffee.

The older dc could go out too? Bus trip to town for a mooch with friends? Cinema and lunch as a treat?

I think sometimes we think we need to be doing day trips to theme parks and country walks but really it's just getting out and about

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/01/2016 19:28

I can't believe the poster who asked if people would be shocked if he was reading all day Hmm reading is not gaming!

Preciousxbane · 09/01/2016 19:44

I game a lot as does DS but he is a teen and still plays football twice a week, does a paper round and nips to the park to play footie if weather ok.

The odd day gaming is for me personally a great thing but no way for a 5 year old. They will not learn to use their imagination. I started gaming in about 1986 as a teen. I wouldn't let DS use the console until he was almost 10.

My friend took a days leave yesterday so we could have a gaming day. That was 10 till 1 then an hour off and then back from 2 till 6. That's a heavy session and as adults we can self regulate, DC and teens often don't so you need to control this.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 19:51

I can't believe the poster who asked if people would be shocked if he was reading all day Hmm reading is not gaming!

What's the difference? There will always be people who prefer to ignore other people and amuse themselves indoors. Whether through reading, painting, gaming, knitting!

How is it any different to any other indoor hobby?

The older generation always insist their childhood was better and the flavour of the generation is causing the downfall of society.

The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise

I believe this was said by Plato. Some of you need to unhoik your judgey pants and realise the hobbies of kids today aren't any worse than anyone else!

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/01/2016 19:54

Playing computer games doesn't use imagination. It doesn't develop critical faculties. It doesn't spark a love of learning or an interest in a new topic. It doesn't contribute towards general neurological and academic development. It stimulates the brain in a way which is frenetic and fast paced and not calm (hence why screens are banned before bed for good sleep hygiene). Hours on a games console results in poor impulse control and a lack of engagement with real life (that's my view, not evidence based)
Reading is pretty much the opposite of all that.

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 19:57

Obsidian

That just shows you don't understand gaming. Gaming does use imagination, a lot of games involve problem solving not to mention getting into the character, and it absolutely can spark a love of learning. You've clearly not spent much time on games, some are educational.

And as for the last bit you've admitted you've basically just made that up!

TheCatsMeow · 09/01/2016 19:58

And knitting doesn't develop critical faculties, involve engaging with real life or any of what you've said either. Would you complain about someone knitting for hours?

WaitrosePigeon · 09/01/2016 19:58

5 year old on an Xbox??????!

ilovesooty · 09/01/2016 20:01

Socrates.

Lurkedforever1 · 09/01/2016 20:01

Tbh, no, I'd not have let dd age 5 dedicate that amount of time to anything sedentary, whether it be reading, knitting or an Xbox.

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