not to buy overpriced champagne for parents on cruise.

[NuclearFreeZone]

So my parents are off round the world on one of them floating office blocks for the next 4 months. It's costing a fortune but they've worked hard, it's their money, etc My idea of living hell but they love it.

The parents love a grand gesture so massive cards rather than handmade, M&S flowers (leave the label on) rather than some from garden. It's Dad's birthday while they are away.

I'm still in a tricky teenage I'm 44 stage; rejecting their values and choices so what should I do:

a) send nice email message, picture of grand kids, e-mail card
b) purchase at enormous mark up bottle of wine/champagne for ship to deliver on day.

a) is what I'd rather do
b) is what they'd prefer (we could afford without hardship but we drive old cars, make a MN chicken last three meals, UK camping hols, etc)

votes/ideas please.

Its not about you OP, just do what they would like its their day!

Cakes are usually given for free anyway

Have you got enough time to give them a bottle to take with them? P&O let you take your own booze on board. Maybe that's a compromise, if you pop in a nice card as well.

Seriously? A £40 present that would make him happy? Why wouldn't you? I'm a single mum working for rubbish wages and I still, happily spend more than that on my parents birthdays! I can't afford a car and love off a very, very small amount a week. Principles are yours, not your families! amy parents went to the Maldives for a big wedding anniversary a few years ago and I paid for them to have a vastly more expensive bottle of champagne on the actual anniversary (as unbeknown to us all...did each of my siblings and grandparents..think my parents were pickled for the duration as their villa gave them as and when for the duration of the stay). The email version surely would be what you would do anyway, without a birthday, if gps were away from gc for 4 weeks?

I would buy the bottle and arrange a cake. My folks do so much for me and my dd so I wouldn't bat an eyelid at it.

live not love my not amy

Thank you, MisForMum (roasts of any kind barely last overnight here)

re OP, I'd be most inclined to send some nice wrapped gifts with them to open on board on the day. Paying £40 or whatever, for a bottle of champagne that would prob be about £10 in Aldi would pain me, regardless of it being Their Day; I'd rather buy the £10 one from Aldi & donate £30 to unicef

If I knew something my dad would really like to receive for his birthday then that's what I'd get him, that's kind of the point of gift giving isn't it

This really - so b or c for their benefit, and then a for my own

You can get a personal message put in the daily newsletter on the big day for about $20 with Royal Caribbean, we did it for DH when it was his birthday. We found the dining room staff were only to happy to make a fuss for birthdays. They take photos of you every opportunity they get, so a special one for birthdays might not really work though.

I'd probably do A) regardless, b) given that you know they'd like it and also try yo get a few little gifts to open on board eg books you think he'd enjoy and could read onboard, any special chocolates he is particularly fond of etc

I'd do C, because my DM, D though she was, adored bring made a fuss of in public and people saying how wonderful her family was to her and how she must be special. It sounds as though your DPs are a bit similar.

I'd ring the P&O people and ask how much fuss they could make and explain you were on a limited budget. They might be able to deliver cake with candles and canned happy birthday noises. Or cake, flowers and champagne. They'll want other passengers to go away going " the nice couple we met, well his daughter organised..hint hint" .

Cake definitely. As long as it's nice and public and makes them feel spoilt and noticed and singled out.

I heard recently that some cruises do not let you take alcohol on board & bags are searched

I'd say B (assume your mum will arrange cake) or if you will get chance to see them before they go, buy a gift, wrap it and give it to your mum to take in her luggage to give to him on his birthday from you? (assuming you'd buy him a gift if he was in the UK and you were seeing him on his birthday).

P&O let you take a reasonable amount on board for you to drink in your cabin. Saved me a fortune recently & it's all done openly with no need to smuggle it on-board. I think Royal Caribbean take the opposite approach to persuade you to buy a pre paid drinks package.

Part of me thinks pah- grand gestures are fine if you don't want to be able to afford your own cruise when you are older too! But then, maybe your parents managed both saving and showy at the same time, as a working family with children?

[https://ask.pocruises.com/help/PO/before-you-sail/alcohol]

Corkage is pricey though if they want to take it to one of the restaurants.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease I fear this kind of thing will be very different for most subsequent generations

There's already a sheep & goats thing between those retirees of that generation who stuck with long-term employers (esp govt ones) & those who didn't. It'll only get worse I'm afraid

My parents did a P&O round the world cruise past year & were away for Dads birthday & mothers day. I sent him a small present that they packed along with his card.
I also ordered flowers to be delivered to their cabin for my mum on mothers day. I have to say they looked beautiful & were very reasonably priced.

They had looked forward to their world cruise for years & years & worked incredibly hard to pay for it. They had such an amazing time . I hope your parents enjoy it as much as mine did. Be prepared for an emotional call from them at sailaway!

By the way we joined them on a cruise a couple of years ago & totally loved it. We are converted & I hope one day to be able to set off around the world on a luxury liner .

YABU

Or, C: get something you'd normally get him or something he could use on board (linen shirt, outrageous straw Panama hat) and give it to your mum to smuggle on board and produce for his birthday. Or even give it to him before they go as an early birthday present so he can use it for the whole cruise.

Hi Nuclear my DM also left today on 4 month cruise but I don't think it's P&O. Her birthday also whilst she's away and I'm ashamed to say I haven't even thought about it so you're streets ahead.! I was going to suggest what Enrique said up thread but actually it's probably best just to send the champers goes away to investigate sending some to own parent

I did both for my parents on a cruise for a special anniversary and they could t open emails!! Technophobes! They loved the champagne and told everyone at their table about it. Do it to ease them - that's what a gift is all about, we also put cards in the cases.