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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

not to buy overpriced champagne for parents on cruise.

73 replies

NuclearFreeZone · 08/01/2016 20:00

So my parents are off round the world on one of them floating office blocks for the next 4 months. It's costing a fortune but they've worked hard, it's their money, etc My idea of living hell but they love it.

The parents love a grand gesture so massive cards rather than handmade, M&S flowers (leave the label on) rather than some from garden. It's Dad's birthday while they are away.

I'm still in a tricky teenage I'm 44 stage; rejecting their values and choices so what should I do:

a) send nice email message, picture of grand kids, e-mail card
b) purchase at enormous mark up bottle of wine/champagne for ship to deliver on day.

a) is what I'd rather do
b) is what they'd prefer (we could afford without hardship but we drive old cars, make a MN chicken last three meals, UK camping hols, etc)

votes/ideas please.

OP posts:
EnriqueTheRingBearingLizard · 08/01/2016 20:17

Err, please don't call the OP when you don't know their circumstances.

NFZ, why not do a package of printed out messages, with scanned in photos. Do one a week and special one for DF's birthday enclosing a scanned copy of a voucher for your local off license or a pic of a bottle of champagne for them on their return home. You could tie it with ribbon and pretty it up if you're a bit creative, or get help if not.

I've had a quick look and you could gift them a cake on-board for much less than a bottle of champagne, so much so that a bottle of champagne for home and a cake on-board would be much more affordable. Hopefully the letters and photos from home, creatively done, would also be a lovely thing for both your parents.

Another idea, if there's an on-board florist (surely there must be) is to get them both a button hole/corsage made up for DF's birthday evening?

whois · 08/01/2016 20:24

If you can afford it easily then B - its about them not you.

mineofuselessinformation · 08/01/2016 20:24

OP, if it wasn't too much would you want to do it?
Thomson don't charge much for a bottle of fizz in your cabin when you go on board.

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/01/2016 20:27

A is essentially nothing. Harsh I know, but it's not time, money or effort.

B is money but they'll like it.

C would be getting a few nice things for them to take and open on board.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 08/01/2016 20:31

A is something you'd do anyway, right? It's effort, but not much, and there's no cost.

B is what they'd want, so that's what I'd do. The mark-up on most cruises isn't horrific, but if you really can't stomach it, you could phone and see what else the cruise could set up? You might be able to buy a fancy meal or something.

You could send them with a little selection of presents too, but I don't think you'd save much if they are more about the labels than the thought, and it'd have to be things that kept well if his birthday is a while after they join the cruise.

I think B works best. Your dad's birthday isn't the time to be showing that you disapprove of their materialism.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 08/01/2016 20:31

Why don't you buy him something your mum can give him from you on the day? Whether it's champagne or something else.

Original poster
NuclearFreeZone · 08/01/2016 20:32

OK, the B's have it and of course I'll do A as well.

Glad I asked, DH thinking of his parents said no.
My parents are isolated from my frugal everyday existence and love this sort of thing as a symbol of success.

We're more of a cider/prosecco house which is why we can afford to give them a £40 bottle!

OP posts:
iklboo · 08/01/2016 20:33

I was going to suggest a cake as well. We got one for our anniversary - it was beautifully decorated & delicious. Plus most ships do other gift ideas such as breakfast in bed, photo packages etc.

Bearbehind · 08/01/2016 20:33

Who are they sailing with?

Many ships provide some kind of fizz for all cabins when they arrive so it's a bit wasted to send on the day of arrival as they take out what you would had had for free no this has never happened to me ggrrr

I'd do the email and send the champagne for your dads birthday

Bogeyface · 08/01/2016 20:34

If they are grand gesture people then I would do c)

Arrange for a cake to be presented on his birthday, in the restaurant for all to see. Champagne would be delivered to their room, you cant really swank with that, whereas "Oh look what our DD arranged for us!" in front of a room full of people is swank central (and cheaper), so win win!

iklboo · 08/01/2016 20:34

And the posh posh onboard dining is usually only something like £25 a head for a really fancy meal.

cdtaylornats · 08/01/2016 20:37

I would go with the cake. It may well be that the ship will do something special as well, a meal at the Captains table, for example if they know about the birthday.

londonrach · 08/01/2016 20:39

Let the ship know op as i bet they do something too.

SaucyJack · 08/01/2016 20:40

Bottle of house white?

MimiSunshine · 08/01/2016 20:40

How about a telegram? There are online shore to ship websites you can order one on.
It will get printed and hand delivered which I'm sure they'll love and they get to keep it and I'm sure it'll be cheaper than onboard champagne

MisForMumNotMaid · 08/01/2016 20:40

Or arrange for the ships photographer to do a special birthday portrait of them dressed for dinner. Probably under £20, based on P&O prices. They could then get extra show off value from it on their return - wonderful DD arranged this on our wonderful hols etc.

toots111 · 08/01/2016 20:41

What would you get your dad for his birthday if he wasn't away?

Original poster
NuclearFreeZone · 08/01/2016 20:41

Now there's C) cake!!! Cake is cheaper, could be more public, ticking the being made fuss of box I would die of embarrassment which is why I'm asking here

For the crusin' experts it's P&O, the gift line is closed now but I've got to sort it tomorrow.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 08/01/2016 20:42

The ships don't generally do anything about birthdays as there's too many of them.

Think about it, many people go for a special occasion anyway plus there's thousands on board so there's loads of birthdays.

They have lists/ menus for things you can buy like cakes, flowers etc but it's all chargeable.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 08/01/2016 20:44

I'd do both.

RJnomore1 · 08/01/2016 20:44

£40?
That's really very little for a bottle of champagne.

Op it does sound like you grudge it though and tbh if you were my kid is far prefer you didn't bother. You may well have a good reason to grudge it, I don't know.

ExasperatedAlmostAlways · 08/01/2016 20:49

I'd do cake and champagne for a special bday for my dad personally.

You will need to let your mum know though so she doesn't order a cake or something too.

FinestGrundyTurkey · 08/01/2016 20:49

what's an MN chicken????? Confused

MisForMumNotMaid · 08/01/2016 20:57

A mumsnet chicken is a roast that does many meals. Some posters appear to scoff at that those who stretch their roast meat to last more meals. Its all go a bit exagerated and the mythical bird lasts a whole week and feeds a family with four teenagers etc.

GraciesMansion · 08/01/2016 20:58

Arrange a cake. When I've been on cruises there's always been plenty of people getting cakes at dinner for special occasions. I don't know what p&o do but the ones I've been on sing happy birthday too, that surely ticks the 'fuss made' box.