To not understand this Mum's reaction?

[Talcott2007]

During my commute this morning I saw (it assume) a mum with her DS no more than 5yrs old on the opposite platform. She was charging along holding his hand and he was practically running to keep up with her. She skirts around one of the metal posts that hold up the roof in the station and essentially drags this little boy straight into it! He smacks his head off it with such a force I heard the bang from where I was standing and he was obviously hurt and shocked - immediately clutching his head and sobbing. (Fortunately someone form the station was there really fast as started offing 1st aid etc) Horrible accident right?

What I can't get over though is the Mum's reaction - she starts screaming at him "why the hell don't you look where you're going?!?" "Oh my God your so stupid!!" Etc.
Apart from the fact that it was actually 100% her fault that he hit his head surely the first reaction should be to make sure he was ok or comfort him, not just to start screaming at him and blaming him? Am I missing something? This can't be considered a normal response to a child being injured?

If she had slapped him, would there be so many people on here making excuses for possible stress? What she did was abusive. She may not be an abusive parent overall; but her actions in this instance were to abuse her child.

Sometimes if ds hurts himself my first reaction is to shout at him. He's quite clumsy, and doesn't look where he's going, and has started this annoying habit of walking backwards when he's hyper. So I think it's exasperation. But I always feel bad literally seconds later and will say sorry and give him a cuddle and kiss the injured area while reminding him to be more careful. The difference here is that it was the mums fault the child hurt himself, and she didn't comfort him at all, or check where he'd hurt himself. Is it possible it was an aunt or similar who isn't used to kids?

And she shouldn't have called him stupid. Okay to say "acting stupid" but not to outright call your child stupid.

"Shock can bring out very strange reactions."
Indeed. I was just thinking to myself that if I'd been in that mother's place, I would probably be hysterical with laughter. Not because I think bouncing children off architecture is amusing, but because it's a response to shock that I can't control. Despite this, my daughter has not grown into an adult who thinks that her mother finds her misfortune funny.
I also cry when I'm angry, it's very frustrating.

SenecaFalls

get a grip will you. You are perfect yourself, are you?

I agree with Seneca. The reaction described (screaming, calling him 'stupid', the blame, a lengthy rant rather than a brief 'snap') DOES sound abusive. I imagine a lot of abuse is perpetrated when under stress, the stress itself isn't a good enough excuse for terrifying a small child.

Es me give up now, you'be got no chancw

Yep pretty sure I've told both of mine to look where they're going at some point. It was partly the 5yos fault imo.

It really is hard to know whether the op is exaggerated imo. Calling him stupid and screaming isnt on though.

I also agree with Seneca. Was my mother abusive? No, she loves me. But was her behaviour abusive? Certainly. I wonder if everyone so quick to say "It wasn't abuse!" has any experience at all of living with an abusive, angry, out of control parent.

I've seen something similar. A mum with a buggy and another holder child walking alongside. "Hold on to the buggy!" She ordered and then swept through a set of shopping centre door, wiping the buggy-holder child into the window and then screaming at them.

I wonder if she realised on some level it was her fault and that was why she was so angry or she genuinely didn't get why her child just bounced off a window.

Not normal behaviour. Even if the mother was stressed on anxious or at the end of her tether it doesn't make it OK to take it out on the child. Especially not one who has just hurt himself. She might not be a terrible mother and it may have been a one off but that doesn't make the behaviour ok.

I expect she was about to miss her connection and was really stressed. My DM would have reacted in that way, and my DM's favourite expression was "you stupid child" . TBH I expect I'd have done exactly the same with DD's 1-4.

Indantherene Sat 09-Jan-16 11:02:24
I expect she was about to miss her connection and was really stressed.

I was thinking this. I'm generally very calm but I do get stressed in the morning when I start running out of time.