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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you get bossy types in the WI?

49 replies

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 17:25

My friend wants me to join the WI with her,.
I'm hesitant, because I have a feeling it's the type of environment where Queen Bees (for want of a better word) flourish , those types who enjoy bossing everybody aboutv and getting all weirdly competitive about silly things, like who's wearing the best christmas jumpers and bakes the best cakes and makes the best jam.

I would rather chew off my own leg than be involved in all that!

I'm going to hate aren't I?

Please tell me they're a friendly lot and I might give it a whirl.

OP posts:

LemonySmithit · 08/01/2016 17:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FlatOnTheHill · 08/01/2016 17:36

How old are you may I ask?
I can imagine you will always get a Queen Bee and competitive ones.

Figwin · 08/01/2016 17:37

I think there is no set type. My nana used to go to one that was just pensioners in Barnet but my friend went to one in Balham expecting that but was really disappointed as they were all in their 20s and 30s. She was looking for some sage company to learn from.

I would imagine though there would be one bossy type in there though as that's just law of averages but you might get lucky

MyNameIsSuz · 08/01/2016 17:45

My friend goes to her local one and loves it, she's 30 and most of the others are a similar age. She's definitely not a queen bee! And it doesn't sound like the others are either, she's made some good friends.

Original poster

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 17:45

Claiborne hill I am 47

OP posts:

Original poster

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 17:46

Flatonthehill

OP posts:

sooperdooper · 08/01/2016 17:49

I'm in the WI & I love it! :) guess all groups are different but ours us very lovely and friendly - not full of bossy queen bees at all

I'm 38 btw and our group is all ages, from early 20s up to 60

Give it a try, but if the first group you go to isn't you then try another, there's a few near me and they're all quite different, some more traditional, some only a few years old :)

dingit · 08/01/2016 17:51

Haven't noticed at ours. I admire the people on the committee, they work very hard. We have had a couple of women who love the sound of their own voice during any debate

dingit · 08/01/2016 17:52

Oh and I am 47 too ( until tomorrow!)

NinjaClaws · 08/01/2016 17:54

It doesn't have to be like that. Maybe if you go in with a positive helpful attitude, you might actually enjoy it and make some lovely new friends?

I'm a member of the Irish version of the WI (Irish Countrywomen's Association) and my biggest bugbear are those women who clearly enjoy partaking of the activities but won't entertain any notion of sharing responsibility for organising an event within the small group.

It's always down to the same ladies to keep things running and several of us have young families to look after as well as paid work to do. In fact, on our committee, there's only one actual retired lady.

Honestly, if you're remotely willing to lend a hand, you'd be massively welcomed by our lot.

Original poster

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 17:57

Sounds as if a lot depends on which wi group we join. She wants to join the nearest one, which makes sense.
But I bet it's one of the fuddy duddy ones.

OP posts:

Ellybellyboo · 08/01/2016 18:00

I belong to the WI, totally depends on the group

Our local one was a bit Queen Bee-ish, but the one in the next town is lovely.

I go to the one in the next town

Ellybellyboo · 08/01/2016 18:02

Oops, posted too soon.

The one I go to has a range of ages from 19 to 80. I'm 39

A very lovely lady at ours, with the patience of a saint, managed to finally teach me how to crochet

Original poster

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 18:04

There are two we could try, both within a 10k radius.
I.m gonna suggest that I will go, with a positive attitude and if it doesn't work out, she has to agree to trying the other one.

OP posts:

Racmactac · 08/01/2016 18:13

I went to a local organised WI event thinking it would be opportunity to get to know some local people.

I walked into the event on my own and I was barely spoken to. I tried a couple of times to start conversation and despite the pleas that they wanted new members they clearly were not willing to make an effort to make me feel included.

Never again.

Original poster

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 18:34

Racmactac ,

Both the WIs are based in 'posh' villages.
I live on an estate (not rough by any means) but it is still an 'estate'.
I'm hoping those that live in the,village (more than likely the majority of members) don't mind us 'rif raf' joining their ranks.

OP posts:

Racmactac · 08/01/2016 18:48

I live in a nice little Shropshire town. You would think that they would have been welcoming but sadly not.

And it's not me (well I don't think so) I have professional job and have been to lots networking events over the years yet I left feeling very upset and deflated.

But I'm sure you will be fine, you don't know unless you try!

frikadela01 · 08/01/2016 18:52

That's a bit pants Rac

I'd love to join WI but there are none in my area, clearly it's just far to rough where I am.

HerBigChance · 08/01/2016 18:58

Our one is great, urban/edging into suburban London. No bossy types, but some very practical ones, which is definitely needed. I was welcomed onto our committee and enjoy getting involved locally. I'm mid forties and our age range is 20s to 60s. We have worked with local charities, mental health organisations etc. I like it.

EponasWildDaughter · 08/01/2016 19:43

Those who are a member - what do you do at the groups?

Honest question. I can't picture what goes on

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2016 21:06

They're all different.

Generally there is either a speaker (which can be on a multitude of different subjects, some more interesting than others), or activity (craft, dance, keep fit) then 'business' which is explaining other events going on in your WI or at Federation (County) level.

There are often other groups within - book club, craft club etc. Events can be theatre trips, wine evenings, charity nights, coffee mornings.

Every year there are Resolutions which the membership vote for and should get behind - last year's was 'It's time to talk' promoting conversation with your family and friends about organ donation.

There's lots more. Older WIs may be more formal, newer ones not so much.

Try different ones till you find one that suits. I wish I'd joined years ago, but I thought you had to knit or bake and I don't do either. And it doesn't matter a jot.

If you're on Facebook, type Women's' Institute in the search and have a look around. Their FB pages will tell you what sort of thing goes on. There's some brilliant ones out there.

Horsemad · 08/01/2016 21:14

I've never been tempted to join the WI. I'm not interested in seeing how many items I can fit inside a matchbox, ta!

Nanny0gg · 08/01/2016 22:21

I'm not interested in seeing how many items I can fit inside a matchbox, ta

Good. Because it's not something that's tested that often.

Horsemad · 08/01/2016 22:49

sooperdooper · 08/01/2016 23:37

horsemad it's not the scouts

We have talks, activities, we support local women's charities, we have events like cinema trips, wine tasting nights, private shopping evenings, meals out - it's whatever you make of it really as long as you can find the right group

frikadela you could start your own? There's loads of new groups starting all the time :)

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