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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Do you get bossy types in the WI?

49 replies

hollowlegs · 08/01/2016 17:25

My friend wants me to join the WI with her,.
I'm hesitant, because I have a feeling it's the type of environment where Queen Bees (for want of a better word) flourish , those types who enjoy bossing everybody aboutv and getting all weirdly competitive about silly things, like who's wearing the best christmas jumpers and bakes the best cakes and makes the best jam.

I would rather chew off my own leg than be involved in all that!

I'm going to hate aren't I?

Please tell me they're a friendly lot and I might give it a whirl.

OP posts:

PlummyBrummy · 08/01/2016 23:46

Oh no Rac, I also live in a nice little Shropshire town and have been thinking about joining the WI! Am a bit nervous now (also because I tried the local historical society and was the only non-pensionable one).

Scuttlebutter · 08/01/2016 23:46

I've been a couple of times to our local one, and I was bowled over by how friendly everyone was and the lovely vibe - very energetic and positive, and alcohol was being enthusiastically consumed. Unfortunately, it's not on a good night for me, but I'd cheerfully go again. I often see the President (? might be Chair) out dog walking and we often chat, she's lovely. Not QB at all, just very efficient and practical, and she most emphatically doesn't make jam. It's really not compulsory.

RaisingSteam · 09/01/2016 00:41

I'm in a new WI - i'm in my mid 40s. We do have a couple of strong personalities but they are nice with it and honestly you do need a firm lead sometimes to get 35 women to all do something, pay for it and turn up for the coach on time. I am the least bossy person but I've been on committee and had to go round with a clipboard getting people to sign up for stuff.

It's one of the best things I've done and I've made some really good friends outside the school run clique. It is just a good night out with a drink and a gossip and something interesting. We don't make a big thing of "minutes of the last meeting" and all that business and we do have those pointless competitions but only for fun and TBH not many do them.

Not all the groups are the same so don't feel bad about trying a few. TBH most institutes are still majority-retired-age which might or might not suit you, but the county (federation) office will know which are the groups with some younger members. If they have a Facebook page that's a good indicator.

margaritasbythesea · 09/01/2016 00:49

Gruntfuttock · 09/01/2016 00:55

Do they still sing Jerusalem at every meeting?

BirdsInMyPants · 09/01/2016 00:56

It sounds like a post, post, post NCT group.

Not my cup of cava.

frikadela01 · 09/01/2016 01:05

Gab idea to start one if I wasn't ridiculously shy.

RaisingSteam · 09/01/2016 01:09

GF
Most groups don't sing Jerusalem any more, no.

HortonWho · 09/01/2016 08:12

There's a bloody waiting list for our local one. Lots of school gate mums in it so I suspect it might feel very unfriendly and cliquey for a 20 or a 60 year old who didn't know anyone before joining.

Seashell70 · 09/01/2016 08:20

As above I hear there are different types of WI groups. I know of a local one that is full of very serious elderly farming/country women who are mostly very well heeled and don't/haven't worked. Then there are modern, more urban groups that operate more like a younger, working women's networking type group that's possibly quite urban in outlook.

I would like to join too.

HerBigChance · 09/01/2016 08:23

Scuttlebutter and Raisingsteam's experiences sound similar to mine and I think 'efficient and practical' are the watch-words, rather than Queen Bee.

Our group lets women attend for a meeting or two without joining (small donation requested), perhaps your local ones do this too OP? Then you can see if you like it.

SSargassoSea · 09/01/2016 08:28

Wasnt' the WI originally the WRI - the Women's Rural Institute - so hence them being in small villages and not so much in towns.

I'm pretty sure my Mum was in the WRI.

margaritasbythesea · 09/01/2016 08:28

To those of you who like the idea, may I ask what makes you want to join? Curious. I am a WI Federation Secretary in a rural area. I want to set up a new WI as I keep being asked but am so 'inside' now I want to make sure I meet expectations and I am not sure what they are. I am not a WI member btw. I would join the one I started.

margaritasbythesea · 09/01/2016 08:28

Sorry for hijack op.

margaritasbythesea · 09/01/2016 08:30

My answer to your question is that it would really depend on the individual WaI. They are all very different. You can try a few three times before making a commitment.

Seashell70 · 09/01/2016 08:49

Margarita, I would like to join one to find friendship and to experience new activities/interests.

The trick is making it interesting to all members and welcoming I think. Easier said....

margaritasbythesea · 09/01/2016 15:45

I think there are ways to make groups welcoming, like having a member designated to take responsibility for welcoming people in, but not all groups want to.

On the note of bossiness, I think there are bossy people just as everywhere, but that the democratic structure of the WI tends to encourage members to speak their minds and have strong opinions, so bossy people find plenty of other people who are not afraid to speak their minds and they seem to be well coped with. I would say that WIs is supportive of its members, very understanding and accommodating of different personalities and very caring.

sooperdooper · 09/01/2016 23:49

Gruntfuttock no, we've never ever sang Jerusalem and have no plans to - I think thats something some more long established/more tradition groups do but not something our members would be into at all

Nanny0gg · 10/01/2016 21:17

I belong to two. One fairly new, one very, very established. Neither sing Jerusalem except for very special occasions. It's quite special then.

All WIs let you visit for a small fee - usually three times.

www.thewi.org.uk/

Put your postcode in the search and the ones nearest to you will pop up. Or contact your Federation office and they may be able to steer you to the 'right' one.

NeverNic · 10/01/2016 22:23

I'm a member of a brand new one. As our WI is new there were quite a few official meetings at the beginning where a rather bossy and official lady took the meetings, but once we were set up then I've found everyone very lovely. There was someone else locally who was also setting up a group, and she was very queen bee-esque, so I didn't pursue that group, though members I know tell me it's not like that. The best recommendation I can make is to visit a few groups. Each group has a different vibe and the meeting topics are set based on what their members like. We are gin tasting soon!

NeverNic · 10/01/2016 22:29

Margarita would you like me to pm you my group's facebook page? Our group is very large and our chair started a bit of a social media campaign to gather interest in the beginning

margaritasbythesea · 10/01/2016 22:42

Yes please!

NeverNic · 10/01/2016 23:09

Done :)

margaritasbythesea · 11/01/2016 06:55

Thanks. Got to go to work now - where we're having a meeting to discuss membership so will try and have a look beforehand.

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