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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU/WWYD I think DS has had his hair cut...

76 replies

TakeMeToYourPlanet · 08/01/2016 14:58

I'm not entirely sure how to approach this as I don't know for sure but my DS 5months has a lot of hair and on Tuesday he went to stay at his grandparents for the night. Usually no major issues with him being at PILs, nothing to prevent me letting them look after him at times.

Anyway on Wednesday when we got home he was going to sleep on me and I was stroking his hair and I felt something at the back. Like he had something stuck & matted into it, just a little bit in a few strands, which I combed out no problem.

I noticed his hair at the back looks to have been cut. Without my permission or even my knowledge. He had lovely curls right round to the back and it was quite long, the curls coming down his neck a bit. Now it goes almost straight across the back of his neck as if it's been cut and has uneven whispy strands that look like they have been missed.

It's looking to me like whilst at PILs he has got something stuck in his hair somehow and they've gone ahead and cut it without even mentioning it to me.

I have no idea how to approach this and to find out the truth without getting upset or going nuclear on them!

OP posts:

SavoyCabbage · 08/01/2016 16:20

She was joking!

diddl · 08/01/2016 16:20

It does sound as if they cut something out & then evened it up.

I only asked if you'd noticed straight away as you seemed unsure whether or not it had even been cut!

Wearing away where they lay on it usually leaves thin/bald patches like this rather than it looking shorter & as if it has been cut across!

Asskicker · 08/01/2016 16:20

Fair enough. That didn't even occur to me. Most pointless post in MN history?

So they didn't cut it an you accept that?

Hope you are feeling better about it.

Ds rubbed hair off on the back and sides. He looked like he had a comb over for a while

JessieMcJessie · 08/01/2016 16:21

Oh. My. GOD. They cut a tiny bit off the back of his hair!

He'll be scarred for life, think of the abuse he'll get at school, the self-esteem issues, the years of therapy.

Oh no, wait, hold on, he is 5 months old, it's invisible and hair grows back within, like, 2 weeks.

Yes, you probably do have control issues and need to chill out.

TrinityForce · 08/01/2016 16:22

She doesn't have control issues.

Not wanting people to cut your baby's hair without your say so is not 'control issues'.

DeAtHnOtE · 08/01/2016 16:25

and need to chill out.

Said the poster who puts a full stop after every word in' Oh my god'.

DeAtHnOtE · 08/01/2016 16:26

Janice

diddl · 08/01/2016 16:27

So his hair hasn't been cut?

JessieMcJessie · 08/01/2016 16:30

DeAtHnOtE - don't you recognise a parody when you see one?

And they didn't give him a haircut they snipped off a tiny amount that was not even obvious (and in fact probably, it turns out, didn't cut anything at all).

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2016 16:31

"It makes me feel like they have no trust in me as a parent to make these decisions."

It sounds much more as if you have not trust in them as grandparents..........

Orrla · 08/01/2016 16:33

My baby lost all his dark hair after a few months, he had this baldy spot at the back where it would rub against the mattress. Then he was bald for ages until finally he got a bit of peach fuzz and its only now he's three that he's got a decent thatch of hair.

So it is possible that its where its rubbing off the mattress?

CheesyWeez · 08/01/2016 16:34

Someone cut my daughter's hair while she was at their house once. I was SO upset. How dare someone do that? I never spoke to her again.
I'm not at all precious about the kids, and if it had been a little accident or something I wouldn't have cared but the person knew I had just taken her for her important first haircut at a hairdresser's specialising in toddler cuts.

The explanation was "Oh I was cutting my son's hair with the clippers and she wanted hers done too" She was 2. Still upset about it. and she's 17 now. So I understand your reaction OP. But you don't know who did it or if it's just worn off on the pillow, that happens, like the PP said

Crumbs Schwabisch that was tough. Well done though. How did you stop her cutting the others' hair?

Hihohoho1 · 08/01/2016 16:36

Not sure this mystery will ever be solved op.

However as a soon to be gran I wouldn't dream of cutting grandchild a hair unless cutting it would save his life (caught in the vent of a swimming pool and he under the water)

I know I know!

BertrandRussell · 08/01/2016 16:40

"I was SO upset. How dare someone do that? I never spoke to her again"
"I'm not at all precious about the kids"

MrsLeighHalfpenny · 08/01/2016 16:47

You know the great thing about hair? It grows back.

LonestarStateOfMind · 08/01/2016 16:56

Kurri Kurri

Hope you're feeling better now op and it was as innocent as suggested.

LaurieLemons · 08/01/2016 17:03

I wouldn't be happy with MIL cutting my DS hair either. If something was stuck in it then bit weird for not mentioning but all ok.

Tell her it looks like it's been cut and see what she says.

musicposy · 08/01/2016 17:07

I think you have to forget about this, OP, and assume they are telling the truth. Otherwise you risk ruining a good relationship for possibly no reason.

CheesyWeez · 08/01/2016 17:11

Apart from haircutting Bertrand

Cutting a fringe in with a buzzy electric clipper

SlatternIsTrying · 08/01/2016 17:25

I cannot get worried about a bit of hair that may have or may have not been cut off.

The reaction to some hair not being there is disproportionate.

It's a bit of hair. It grows back. The child is fine.

munkisocks · 08/01/2016 17:34

I'd be pissed if my mum cut my dds hair. She cuts her dogs hair around their face and even she admits they look like twats afterwards!

DeAtHnOtE · 08/01/2016 17:39

DeAtHnOtE - don't you recognise a parody when you see one?

Obviously not, although by definition that would make it a shit 'parody'.

DeAtHnOtE · 08/01/2016 17:41

Ah, it seems your first comments were your 'parody' and the last line aimed at OP. Which is funny, an OP hasn't overreacted in any way other than to ask her MIL about it. So you did a parody which wasn't a parody of OP and they used it to belittle OP.

I eagerly await your sketch show.

Schwabischeweihnachtskanne · 08/01/2016 19:58

CheesyWeez your friend/ relation took her to the hairdressers for her first haircut for absolutely no reason without even asking you? To answer your question my older 2 were pretty much bald til the age of 3 - DC3's surfer blond locks were a source of awe and wonder to everyone well DH, me and DC1 and 2 they were part of his identity too, as he was very verbal and very sure of himself, and I had asked him regularly whether he wanted his hair cut like his big brother, but he had shoulder length hair which had only been cut once at the back by me (I hacked about 6 inches off on holiday when it was so long it needed either cutting or plaiting!)

I was, to be honest, upset mainly because he looked ridiculous, it was neither his choice of style nor mine, and had been proud of his hair, which always attracted positive comments from nice people, and was old enough to notice people laughing at him and also IMO to have a bit of say over his hair - it was up to his parents and himself how his hair was. His siblings were also unhappy about the cut and he was a bit confused by it and upset when he actually looked in a mirror. I think wonderful though caring grandparents are, first hair cuts and radical changes in style are not the unilateral decision of grandparents or anybody who is not the main care giver!

Hihohoho1 · 08/01/2016 20:13

munkisocks

Love your post. How goes a dog look like a twat?

Photo please!

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