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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to split the bill when the difference is less than £1 each

114 replies

Sonders · 06/01/2016 16:58

I'm guessing this might have been done to death so apologies if I'm stirring up old territory!

I'm all for paying for what you eat/drink when there's a big difference, like an extra course or significant extra alcohol consumption.

Just before Christmas, about 10 of us went for a meal to celebrate and old member of the group who had moved to the states and was back for 2 weeks only. This member and her boyfriend plus 2 others shared a bottle of white, everyone else had soft drinks or had ordered and paid at the bar before we sat. We each had one course.

At the end of the meal, the bill came to dead-on £150 (inc. tip), most of us had put in £15 each when one couple said actually they want to pay for what they ate as they didn't have any wine. A few people pointed out the difference would be pennies as they had 2 soft drinks each. The couple were visibly very offended, and we could see them chat to each other about how ridiculous the rest of us were.

We all took back our cash, and started passing around the receipt to work out who should pay what. After all the fuss, the couple in question actually spent more than the wine people, bringing their total to £31ish including tip.

One of the other guys in the group then said something along the lines of 'you guys just talked your way out of £1' and their answer was that actually, they don't want to pay a tip, so are just going to pay £30 any way.

A couple of us then chipped in another 50p each to cover the damn tip and the couple remained in a sour mood for the rest of the evening.

So...

AIBU to just want to split a nice round number when we've had a nice evening instead of all this rigmarole?

I ask because they want to meet up again in 3 weeks time and I'm not sure if I can be bothered.

OP posts:

Leelu6 · 06/01/2016 19:03

Hahaha suckers didn't save a penny even after being cheap! Love it!

Hope it's put some shame into them.

FarterChristmoose · 06/01/2016 19:14

I never split the bill. Never have done, never will. I either treat the person and pay the full bill or I pay for what I've eaten and the other person/people pay their own.

cannotlogin · 06/01/2016 19:17

surely the OP would know if her friends were in this position and give them some slack. I've subbed friends when they've been broke and vice versa

why? I don't discuss my personal issues with all and sundry and sometimes not even with good friends. I'm proud - not everyone needs to know the ins and outs. And not every person or group of friends is capable of subbing other people - times are difficult for many people.

I am arguing the toss a bit, I know. But it worries me that there are people out there for whom relatively small amounts of money can make a huge difference to getting through to the next pay day. I don't think they should have to apologise for being in that situation or even need to explain. Some of the comments here - without knowing the people involved - are very unpleasant and make me personally uncomfortable.

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 19:26

Cannot bit it was the same.

If it's because they were hard up they would know exactly how much they had to spend. So they knew they had had

2 X main course
4 X soft drinks

If they were asking they would have checked the prices

Mains = £22
Drinks = £8

They would know it was £30. People who are broke don't just order and not look at prices. Especially if a pound really is that important.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 06/01/2016 19:52

The point is that if they are coppering up at the end of a meal, then you should have already totted up your costs before embarrassing yourself and everyone else! That's what is annoying and pathetic about this couple.

Ellybellyboo · 06/01/2016 19:52

I have friends like this. It drives everyone mad.

The couple would be happy to split a bill equally if they thought he'd benefit from it, ie, they'd both had 2 courses and a bottle of while the rest of us has 1 course and 1 coke

We would all decide whether we were splitting or paying for our own in advance, they'd agree to split but during the course of the meal if they felt they'd had less than everyone else they'd insist on only paying for their own when the bill was presented.

They insisted on paying for their own one night, but once they realised they'd be paying about £12 more they desperately tried to back track and split equally. No one would let them, and from then on, we all insist they have their own bill. They're lovely people but extremely tight and we all felt they were taking the piss

DoJo · 06/01/2016 19:52

Surely if they were brassic, they would have been drinking tap water or make one drink last rather than spending so much on soft drinks each - if the couple whose total bill came to more than the others were the ones who were skint, then it's easy to see why!

Original poster

Sonders · 06/01/2016 19:55

Eep, I've been away taking down the tree and had a lot of messages. I don't think the couple are well off but are definitely comfortable, both full-time employed in decent civil service jobs. The husband of the couple posts almost daily with the latest fitness class he's attending so I would think they have spare money each month (they can spend their money on whatever they like, just using as an example).

I was thinking about what Travelling said and if I knew they were skint, I probably wouldn't have offered sub them before the meal as I know it would have been a nicer evening without them. Gosh, we really aren't friends any more.

OP posts:

Wibblewobble100 · 06/01/2016 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wibblewobble100 · 06/01/2016 20:04

Oops wrong thread!

Original poster

Sonders · 06/01/2016 20:04

Well done Wibble but I think you're in the wrong place!

OP posts:

ItsANewDayToday · 06/01/2016 20:07

So OP, did they know how much the wine was before asking to pay separately as I don't think it would have been unreasonable to think the wine was a lot more than £12?

I think this is an important detail as to how Unreasonable they were being

sarah2011 · 06/01/2016 20:07

Meet up without them - they are embarrassing x

Original poster

Sonders · 06/01/2016 20:13

ItsANewDay they knew the price of the wine before they suggested splitting, tI remember them picking up the receipt as the waiter had used 3 pieces of paper and they commented on it for some reason. There was a chance they thought only 3 people shared the wine but that would have hardly affected it.

They would have seen the price of soft drinks at the time too which I think were £2.40ish each!

OP posts:

ItsANewDayToday · 06/01/2016 20:25

Well that's really weird if they had looked at the bill. Maybe they are just incredibly bad a maths otherwise I don't understand why they would turn ask to pay separately especially when the maths was so simple.

It doesn't make sense.

ItsANewDayToday · 06/01/2016 20:26

Now I think they are unreasonable, really bad at maths and a bit bonkers.

SanityClause · 06/01/2016 20:28

I don't think it's unreasonable for vegetarians to want a range of things to choose from.

I do think it's unreasonable to quibble over a few quid for a group meal. And not tipping the staff is beyond the pale!

Pedestriana · 06/01/2016 20:43

Generally, I'm in favour of splitting the bill. However, I recently went out with a group of people, including one senior person. The group elected to pay for the senior person's meal amongst them, as they do by tradition.

The senior person ordered two bottles of wine, which they shared with two other people at the table. Other people ordered single drinks.

I have some dietary requirements, and my choices cost far less than the majority, but all in, I ended up stumping up £40, effectively for a pizza and a slice of cake with a glass of wine.

For me this was one of those cases where it'd have been better to remove the cost of wine/more appropriately divide up the cost of drinks. I was quite happy to pay my share of food/dessert for the senior person.

dustarr73 · 07/01/2016 10:36

I think splitting the bill sometimes is ok.Depends on who you go out with.In the ops case i wouldnt moan about a couple of quid but some people do take the piss when it comes to splitting bills.

Pedestriana thats when you split the bill.

pasturesgreen · 07/01/2016 10:59

I cannot abide such ridiculously tight people.

I wouldn't bother meeting again, just imagine the fuss when the bill comes!

Dollymixtureyumyum · 07/01/2016 11:02

We had it the other way round, one couple ordering expensive steak and downing gin cocktails all night and then wanting to spilt the bill and going in a huff when the rest of us declined. I have just posted about said couple actually

Murphyslaw21 · 07/01/2016 11:18

When we go as a group there are some non drinkers so all we do is keep drinks on seperate Bill. Split food between us and drinkers pay for there's and non drinkers pay for there's.

Although once went out two of them drank cocktails at £8 a throw whilst the rest had a couple of glasses of wine, that bill was not split there's came to over £80 alone for drinks ours came to £30 two bottles of wine. But it was agreed before hand and was fine

Leelu6 · 07/01/2016 11:27

I go the other way. I always insist on paying my share if I have spent more than others but happy to split the bill if I have spent less than others.

Except - I don't drink, so if lots of wine is being consumed, I will pay my own share, especially as I prefer tap water to fattening fizzy drinks.

BarbarianMum · 07/01/2016 11:29

I'm tee-total and won't subsidise other people's drinks bills but I do actually check that this makes a substantial difference to my bill before quibbling about splitting (I have to say it usually does, maybe I have very boozy friends).

Refusing to tip is really mean unless food or service was dire.

Whathaveilost · 07/01/2016 12:02

When a crowd of us go out we now get things sorted out before we order food about what is going to happen.

We've had too many times when someone has worked out the price per head and most people have gone 'OK, there's my twenty' and then someone pipes up 'well, actually.........' When this happens it ruins the dynamic of the evening.
I won't put it up with it anymore, I'm too old for faffing or cheapskates.

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