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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to split the bill when the difference is less than £1 each

114 replies

Sonders · 06/01/2016 16:58

I'm guessing this might have been done to death so apologies if I'm stirring up old territory!

I'm all for paying for what you eat/drink when there's a big difference, like an extra course or significant extra alcohol consumption.

Just before Christmas, about 10 of us went for a meal to celebrate and old member of the group who had moved to the states and was back for 2 weeks only. This member and her boyfriend plus 2 others shared a bottle of white, everyone else had soft drinks or had ordered and paid at the bar before we sat. We each had one course.

At the end of the meal, the bill came to dead-on £150 (inc. tip), most of us had put in £15 each when one couple said actually they want to pay for what they ate as they didn't have any wine. A few people pointed out the difference would be pennies as they had 2 soft drinks each. The couple were visibly very offended, and we could see them chat to each other about how ridiculous the rest of us were.

We all took back our cash, and started passing around the receipt to work out who should pay what. After all the fuss, the couple in question actually spent more than the wine people, bringing their total to £31ish including tip.

One of the other guys in the group then said something along the lines of 'you guys just talked your way out of £1' and their answer was that actually, they don't want to pay a tip, so are just going to pay £30 any way.

A couple of us then chipped in another 50p each to cover the damn tip and the couple remained in a sour mood for the rest of the evening.

So...

AIBU to just want to split a nice round number when we've had a nice evening instead of all this rigmarole?

I ask because they want to meet up again in 3 weeks time and I'm not sure if I can be bothered.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sonders · 06/01/2016 18:06

Merguez I'm pretty sure it was a family dining place in the burbs. It didn't seen that cheap, I had mushroom risotto and a tonic water and £15 seemed to be at the top of what I thought was reasonable!

OP posts:
DinosaursRoar · 06/01/2016 18:08

sounds like they got themselves in a fuss about "not subsidising the drinkers and steak eaters", (which people on here can get themselves into as well I've noticed!) but it not occurred to them that their bill might be the same. Veggie food and soft drinks can often cost just as much.

I would not bother with them again. Life's too short for hard work people.

SparklyPenguin · 06/01/2016 18:09

They sound like twats, tightarsed mean ones at that. How embarrassing. And non-tipping too, from a big group, when the service was good, such a no-no. Don't go out with them again, they sound like a right headache.

ItsANewDayToday · 06/01/2016 18:12

Did they know the cost of the wine before they piped up? Might they have thought it could be an expensive bottle. £12 is a cheapo bottle of wine.

If they didn't know then it's understandable that they said they would rather pay for themselves. Obviously they should have backed down once they realized the wine was so cheap.

cannotlogin · 06/01/2016 18:13

whilst I agree it sounds like a pain, there have been times in my life when I was so very hard up that spending an extra £1 made a difference, particularly when I was coppering up to be at an event such as you describe in the first place. I am on the fence as to whether you are unreasonable or not.

diddl · 06/01/2016 18:15

Well I think in this case there obviously hadn't been enough alcohol consumed to make a difference.

But then it's surely something that you make clear at the start & get seperate bills?

reni2 · 06/01/2016 18:17

I'd say tell the waiter next time those two are one bill, everyone else splits.

If they want a glass of the communal wine mark the bottle and get out the ruler and calculator.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2016 18:18

'there have been times in my life when I was so very hard up that spending an extra £1 made a difference, particularly when I was coppering up to be at an event such as you describe in the first place. I am on the fence as to whether you are unreasonable or not.'

No excuse, IMO. And I copper up just to get by every month. If you're at that point, you decline the invitation, not stiff the wait staff.

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/01/2016 18:18

I was going to suggest that next time you make it clear from the start to the waiter that those two are to be billed separately but the rest of the table is one group ... but then with your subsequent posts, I have to say I'd just not invite them ever again. They are joyless.

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 18:19

cannot that's very true.

But thy ordered their own food. Surely they could have rotted up in their head that their meal came to £31

cannotlogin · 06/01/2016 18:21

And I copper up just to get by every month. If you're at that point, you decline the invitation, not stiff the wait staff
except this was a situation where a friend of the job who lives abroad was back at home for a limited period - not an invitation a good friend would want to decline.

I do think it sounds petty, but we all have a right to simply pay for what we drink and eat, surely?

WhereYouLeftIt · 06/01/2016 18:27

"we all have a right to simply pay for what we drink and eat, surely?"
Absolutely. And when I have wanted to do that, I have said so right at the start of the meal, and asked the waiter to keep my order separate from the rest of the table. It's the not piping up until the bill has arrived that is the problem in this instance. (as well as the rest of this couple's behaviour.)

DinosaursRoar · 06/01/2016 18:28

I do understand some people are skint at the end of the month and owuld need to only pay for what they ate, but a) you keep a tally in your head what you've ordered so they should have realised it was about £15 each anyway and b) you say at the start "is it ok if we just pay for our own as we're not drinking." and then c) as you order, tell the waiter you want a separate bill - rather than having to split it later.

Waiting until the bill arrives is just being hard work.

expatinscotland · 06/01/2016 18:31

'not an invitation a good friend would want to decline. '

If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. If you're such good friends you tell them that and suggest some other place/activity.

TravellingHopefully12 · 06/01/2016 18:32

Cannot, surely the OP would know if her friends were in this position and give them some slack. I've subbed friends when they've been broke and vice versa. Also, the amount they spent indicates they weren't broke, surely, or they wouldn't have ordered that much - or at least been apologetic about it and not made it not about subbing other people.

Did they then come to the pub across the road OP?

Dieu · 06/01/2016 18:33

How embarrassing, and very bad form indeed. Not company I'd like to keep.

Asskicker · 06/01/2016 18:33

I do think it sounds petty, but we all have a right to simply pay for what we drink and eat, surely?

But it worked out the same. If you are short of money, you keep a tally of what you have spent. They must have known they had spent £30, if sticking to budget was that important.

Only1scoop · 06/01/2016 18:34

Ugh cringe cringe cringe

reni2 · 06/01/2016 18:39

I think it is quite funny, "We'll only pay what we had", pleased as punch thinking it will be much cheaper and then it turns out they spend MORE than the rest.

Only1scoop · 06/01/2016 18:41

Oh and I don't think I could put myself through this in another 3 weeks.

dustarr73 · 06/01/2016 18:43

I would have loving to see their faces when they realised it worked out teh same.Faces liked slapped arses the pair of them.

BogusCatAndThePunk · 06/01/2016 18:43

Well as I'd have pissed myself laughing I think chances are they wouldn't want to go out with me again.

We do all different ways of paying depending on who we're out with but it's decided before we order. Doesn't have to be a big thing, just a quick are we splitting the bill or paying our own. Done!

But then none of our lot are fussy tight arses.
Time to dump them OP

MoMoTy · 06/01/2016 18:46

Do people like that have no shame, how embarrassing to ever be in their company.

Imustgodowntotheseaagain · 06/01/2016 18:50

Veggies often get a raw deal on 'split the bill' nights so I have a tiny bit of sympathy there, but I'd bin them for not tipping.

Whathaveilost · 06/01/2016 19:00

And I copper up just to get by every month. If you're at that point, you decline the invitation, not stiff the wait staff
except this was a situation where a friend of the job who lives abroad was back at home for a limited period - not an invitation a good friend would want to decline

Over the last 30 years when I have been skint (or my friends have been a bit hard up )and a similar situation has happened, I have always said that I couldn't make them for the Mel ( no need to say that you are stoney) and you will join them for drinks after. No embarrassment, no un necessary expense and jobs a good un.

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