How not to BU in supporting IVF couple.

[Ipsos]

Hi,

I wondered if people could give advice on what to say and what not to say to couples experiencing IVF. In particular to say / not to say to the Dad, who may be embarrassed to have all his personal stuff discussed in great detail with all and sundry?

Thanks!

Ipsos you say you are "finding it hard not to get excited about the baby but of course I suppose that there might not be one"

What you need to understand is that it is not just a little risk that it won't work. In fact, the odds are that there will not be a baby. The majority of IVF cycles fail. The HFEA website has statistics on it and you should take a look so that you have a better sense of the reality of the situation.

To put this in perspective , I am currently 6 weeks pregnant after our second IVF cycle. I cannot bring myself to think of my pregnancy being a baby, neither DH nor I ever talk about " the baby" and I will not consider myself properly pregnant until after the 12 week scan, if we ever get there.

I'm afraid that IVF I not a cause for excitement, quite the opposite- having to do it is a cold hard recognition of the fact that you are almost at the end of the fertility road.

cheby you know your friend best but personally I would hate to be asked to be a godparent to any child while struggling with infertility. It smacks of a consolation prize and for my own part additional forced interaction with other people's kids just magnifies the pain. It's like those oh-so hilarious parents whose comedy solution to infertility is to say with rolled eyes signifying " my kids are SUCH a nightmare" "you can have one of mine, ho ho".

Yes that's what I'm saying. I'll leave them in the attic unless requested. :-)