to have struggled not to laugh in his face

[MeAndCoolioDownByTheSchoolYard]

On the bus home from town. DS (17 months) had just fallen asleep when we got on. A couple got on a few stops later with a 3-4 year old and then a toddler and a newborn, the latter two in some kind of behemoth double buggy the size of a camper van.

I got up and tried to squeeze my buggy sideways (even though I was wondering what they were seeing that I wasn't as there was no conceivable way they were both going to fit.) Mine wouldn't fit fully sideways because of the stupid pole so had to sit slightly diagonally. The mum then started stropping and asking me to move even though there was no other possible way I could have moved it that would have let theirs fit (apart from me taking a sleeping DS out and presumably handing him to a stranger while I collapsed the pram).

Her partner then said (passive aggressively to another passenger rather than to my face) that I should have got off the bus and waited for the next one as they had a newborn and therefore priority.

AIBU to think he must be on glue? If you go on public transport with such a big contraption surely you have to accept that you might sometimes have to wait for a bus with no other buggies? Or maybe put the newborn in a sling and then use a normal size pushchair for the toddler?

Home now, kettle is on. Eurgh.

Why should you have got off the bus. The cheeky twunt. With the huge risk of sounding like a 12year old. You were on the bus first.

I think buses should have size restrictions for buggies, with exceptions made for parents of twins.

Would make life easier for everyone! If you need to use the bus on a regular basis, use a normal sized pram, or come up with some sort of alternative which doesn't inconvenience everyone else!

OP - I think this family were being totally unreasonable and total arsehats to boot, but at the same time I do sort of feel sorry for them. It is much more difficult to be a nice, rational person when you're struggling with two young kids, a newborn, and massively regretting your pram purchase!

I think buses should have size restrictions for buggies, with exceptions made for parents of twins.

Double buggies in general, I'd say, (and SEN buggies should go without saying, naturally) but yes, this is a bit more reasonable.

In general though, I'm just not sure it's really necessary, is it? Honestly? There might be the odd git, but surely most people just get on with it...?

I'm not sure how to respond to your post, mrddevere. It almost seems to be positing some sort of dystopian future.

Better bus facilities are accessible to everyone. They encourage people to walk more - walking into town and getting the bus back rather than driving everywhere, so will likely have a positive effect on the pavements.

There are women on this thread (me, the DSis with epilepsy mentioned by a PP) for whom banning unfolded prams on buses would have had a massive impact. About a year or so, not being able to take a pram on the bus would have had pretty devastating consequences for me and my daughter. I genuinely don't know how I wont have coped.

And on the other hand we have your hypothetical women staying at home because they are worried about not being able to get on the bus.

In my experience getting a place on a bus is not a big deal. Maybe there are other areas where this isn't the case. Maybe the use of the space does need to be policed more closely but I cannot emphasise enough how devastating an outright ban would have been to me.

One the one hand, someone might have to wait for another bus (or even two). But on the other hand, lots of people will not be able to use buses AT ALL.

Basically what this thread shows once again is the sense of entitlement that some parents have these days, there's no compromise, polite conversation or verbal negotiation, they are number one and everyone else can go do one.

there are different kinds of double buggies tho. The 2 tier sort are not any wider than a single buggy. The double wide variety are not welcome on public transit here.You were remarkably restrained in these circums , op. Congrats on standing your ground and not letting the super self entitled win. As a retired teacher i always think about the poor teacher who will have to deal with that lot.

Mrsdevere, I'm sorry. You're right that I overreacted. I did read your post as an argument for banning prams on buses, and I would ask you to read my post in the light of me being the parent of a child with a disability, who relied strongly on buses during a particular, very difficult time in my life, hence why I'm prickly about this, as well as the general thoughtlessness towards invisible disabilities. But I took it out on you, and that wasn't fair of me.

I think I probably agree with you about a lot of things, actually. If your husband can't use buses that's awful and something needs to change. I would argue quite strongly that thing should be better policing of the space, and more thought and consideration for other people, rather than banning prams outright.

I also agree about the lazy assumption that everyone has cars, and the impact on pavements, but I read your post to mean that better facilities on buses were responsible for this, which seemed totally backwards to me, hence my snarky dystopia comment. If you meant cars I wholly agree.

I take your point that I am coming from a place of privilege, living somewhere with a half-decent bus service, and that other people aren't so lucky.

I really am a very reasonable person, honest.

Anyway, I'm sorry. I stand by my previous comments but I dowish I'd been a little less arsey In conveying them.

I stand by my previous comments but I dowish I'd been a little less arsey In conveying them.

This is my motto for 2016.

YANBU, plus behemoth is a fantastic word.

MrsDeVere I had to do just that. Bought a really expensive and rather large pram when pregnant and never once thought how am I gonna get this beast onto a bus. Once my DS was born I realised that it was going to be impossible and bought a small stroller and always take that out if using buses.

Its still a nightmare though. I don't mind waiting if there are already prams in the space but it really boils my piss when perfectly able bodied people sit in the pram space and refuse to move even where there are loads of other free spaces. The worst was a few weeks ago... me and another lady with a pram waiting for a bus. It pulls up and I can see a pram in the wheelchair space and 2 women with loads of shopping bags in the pram space ( so if they had moved to one of the other seats on the empty bus both me and the other lady could've got on ). Doors open and one of the women shouted " Don't let them on, there's no space" and the driver shut the doors and drove off! Me and the other woman were all at each other. Had to wait for nearly 30 mins for another and missed a really important medical app for my DS.

I really hated getting on buses when mine were in a push chair. I used to regularly encounter old ladies sat in the wheel chair/ push chair area on a half empty bus and refuse to move. I would never be offered help when I had to hold a baby in one arm and fold down awkward chair with the other. I feel sorry for mums on buses when I see them now.

It's great that you can take babies on the bus. When mine were little if you need d the bus you had to carry the baby in your arms and leave the pram at home. I'd have loved to be able to take my babies up town in comfort on the bus. Trouble is there just isn't room for everyone. Having a newborn certainly doesn't give automatic rights to the space though. It's the risk you have to take, whether there's room on the bus or not.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 I guess you were too shocked to take the bus's number plate so you could complain to the company about the driver?

I used to regularly encounter old ladies sat in the wheel chair/ push chair area on a half empty bus and refuse to move

Sorry but those old ladies have more right to the space at the front of the bus than you. Those spaces are firstly for wheelchair users, then elderly & infirm, then able-bodied people.

For 18 months I had a temporary disability and still had to use the bus. I had very limited strength, balance, and most of one side of my body was out of use for more than basic walking, standing etc. It was very very hard to stand on the bus. I was so needful of the front seats on the bus sometimes. But they were generally occupied by able-bodied people with prams. SElfish tossers.

You'll be old one day (well, as they say the alternative is far worse!) - and you'd better hope that young people then treat you better than your own attitude now.

God I love my car

Multi although buses are designed differently and where I live the pram space is never at the front, I believe thecat was probably talking about the space in the middle of the bus, where there are also seats

My worst encounters with prams on buses were the times when a bus driver trying, I guess to be friendly, and let me on and when I get on I realise that the pram space is already full! really awkward to try and stand in the middle with a pram and getting dirty looks. If I had been able to see that the space was already taken I wouldn't have got on!! This was in an area with loads of buses so I wouldn't have had to wait particularly long for the next one

Surely the busses go often enough that they could have waited for the next one where the pram space could have been free, thereby a) not being pricks and b) being able to enjoy their chicken at the busstop while not stinking out the bus.

Saying that, what I wouldn't give for the busses here to smell of fried chicken once in a while. We dont have KFC or anything like it in this country, I miss it

Surely the busses go often enough that they could have waited for the next one

I think it depends where you are. In London and other big cities, they are probably every few minutes. Where I grew up, there were two a day.

But given they wanted OP to wait for the next one, it shows they considered the buses to be frequent enough that they could have waited instead

I actually think yabu for not laughing in his face!

Where I grew up, there were two a day.

Luxury ! I (being a Londoner) remember the shock at discovering a part of Wales where the weekly bus left the village 10 minutes before the daily train arrived. This was 1988.