to have struggled not to laugh in his face

[MeAndCoolioDownByTheSchoolYard]

On the bus home from town. DS (17 months) had just fallen asleep when we got on. A couple got on a few stops later with a 3-4 year old and then a toddler and a newborn, the latter two in some kind of behemoth double buggy the size of a camper van.

I got up and tried to squeeze my buggy sideways (even though I was wondering what they were seeing that I wasn't as there was no conceivable way they were both going to fit.) Mine wouldn't fit fully sideways because of the stupid pole so had to sit slightly diagonally. The mum then started stropping and asking me to move even though there was no other possible way I could have moved it that would have let theirs fit (apart from me taking a sleeping DS out and presumably handing him to a stranger while I collapsed the pram).

Her partner then said (passive aggressively to another passenger rather than to my face) that I should have got off the bus and waited for the next one as they had a newborn and therefore priority.

AIBU to think he must be on glue? If you go on public transport with such a big contraption surely you have to accept that you might sometimes have to wait for a bus with no other buggies? Or maybe put the newborn in a sling and then use a normal size pushchair for the toddler?

Home now, kettle is on. Eurgh.

YANBU, they sound unhinged.

BUT I don't think any unfolded pushchairs should be allowed on buses to be honest.

Those spaces were originally put in for wheelchair users and, even if they are empty the majority of the time, I think that's better than a wheelchair user having to feel uncomfortable or an inconvenience for wanting to use an occupied space that was put there for them in the first place.

I know many (most?) pushchair users would fold without complaint for a wheelchair user but a) not all will and b) that doesn't mean that the wheelchair user doesn't feel awkward and like they're putting the pushchair user to an inconvenience.

If the pushchair was already folded and the space empty the issue wouldn't arise.

Yes me too. I love self important cunts that think the world revolves around them personally, and who try to bully others into making them the priority when they've got no fucking right. They are the best kind of people.

We haven't had a thread about families trying to sit together on budget airlines for a while.

Not sure why I thought of that ....

The newer buses round here have a space for a wheelchair AND a pushchair. Swish!

I disagree empahatically that pushchairs should be folded up to get on the bus...what sort of hell is that?! No - it's great that pushchairs can just wheel on and off the bus like they do. I drive now, but I didn't when my kids were babies and had to rely on the bus. Thank fuck for buggy spaces is all I can say.
I did encounter a handful of selfish me me me twats like the OP describes but it was mostly ok. People were generally willing to share the space if possible, or wait for the next bus if not.
As it should be.

Her partner actually said you and your child should have gotten off the bus completely and waited for another?

If so, then that is outrageous.

If he had not said that, then the situation would have felt much different to me. If I had seen tired parents with three small children, probably as desperate as I was to get home, try to board the bus with the huge double stroller, I would have done everything in my power to help get on including holding my baby and collapsing my stroller enough for them to squeeze past me to find seats; or I would have moved to a seat farther back on the bus so they could board without being blocked by my stroller.

I would bet they were frazzled and grumpy hence the outrageous statement by her dp. They simply were desperate to get on and felt you could have done a bit more, rightly it or wrongly.

Ynbu but ask yourself if they had been people you knew and loved getting on the bus, complete with giant double stroller, would you have done a bit more to help them board?

It was one other poster.

I certainly wouldn't have struggled not to laugh in his face.

I'd have relished doing it quite openly

Ok maybe two or three.

Its times like these when i'm glad I drive a giant gas guzzling 4x4.

I can eat my fried chicken in peace

Hmm, is it OP's fault though, that they had 3 under 5s? They should've thought about that type of situations before they made so many. I doubt they gave it any thought.
If they chose to have 3 so close together, they need to deal with their issues without affecting other people. If they expect everybody to move for them (or get off the bus), they are just entitled cunts.

Pictish, self important cunt. Do you realise what I was saying now ornis the implication now that I am a self important cunt. Because if being called a cunt because I think something is different to how others see it, then right back at you.

BEAR. STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER. Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude(r), but I really do fear for your reading comprehension. You don't seem to be with it on this thread.

Pictish is saying the couple on the bus were self-important cunts.

Ok maybe two or three.

Indeed.

Wanted to add that they should have collapsed their own stroller, with one parent holding the baby and the other parent folding down the stroller and both watching over the toddler and 4yearold. That, combined with everyone on the bus doing what they could to help, may have worked out.

, OP, you did what you could.

I don't see why people have these huge contraptions. They aren't made for travel on public transport at all.

Buses had no buggy or wheelchair spaces when my twins were babies so we walked everywhere because there was no other option. I couldn't juggle two babies and fold the buggy to get on a bus.

If there had been buggy spaces I'd have put one baby in a sling and used a small buggy for the other heftier baby.

But I think if you had a pram that could be folded easily, then you should of really.

But it couldn't have been folded easily, it had a sleeping child in it.

If this couple think it's so important for their newborn not to have to wait for a bus, they shouldn't have taken him out at all. I wonder what they planned to do if there was a long wait for the bus, or if the space was occupied by a wheelchair?

And I rather suspect that in 6 months' time Mr Entitled will no longer hold so firmly to the view that families with newborns take precedence.

I used to take my three on the bus. I had a newborn and a tot not yet walking in a double buggy, plus a six year old.
Not once did it occur to me that I should have had priority over another parent who'd got the space first. I'd have a look and if there was a buggy in the space, I'd not even attempt boarding.
On the rare occasions (and they were extremely rare) a wheelchair user needed the space I got off without complaint. I couldn't really fold that lot down without a whole heap of hassle while everyone watched me. I'd just get off.

If I had had to fold down to get on a bus, I'd have spent about three years never going anywhere. And that would have made me very sad.

Bear - I was referring to the couple in question. Ok it wasn't the sweetest of terms and perhaps I posted in outraged haste (saddo that I am) - but I wasn't referring to you.

BUT I don't think any unfolded pushchairs should be allowed on buses to be honest

That is an absolutely ridiculous stance to take and a guarantee that many people (very likely vulnerable people who are totally reliant on buses) would be cut off and totally unable to use buses at all. What are you supposed to do if you have a young baby? (Hardly safe if the bus brakes suddenly). Or have two children and aren't able to deal with both of them at the same time without a pram? Not to mention what the fuck you're meant to do with the shopping?

DD has SEN, so having to fold the pram would be extremely hard if I had both kids in tow, plus shopping. There's a chance she could bolt.

It's not so much of an issue now that she's at school, but In many cases I wouldn't have be able to use a bus at all, purely to avoid upsetting the sensibilities of someone in a wheelchair. And for the record, yes, I would cheerfully fold up the pram if necessary or get off the bus if that isn't an option. I use buses a lot and can count the number of times it has happened on one hand.

MrsDevere I do agree with that. I had McLarens - narrow and easy to manoeuvre.

Same here MrsDeVere All buggies had to be folded - sleeping tot or not

I don't why everyone can't be just a bit nicer to each other on public transport.
My poor DSIS was berated by a couple of other Mums on the bus for not folding her double pram. The bus was empty other than DSIS and these two women. Both women had buggies with older children, DSIS moved her pram up to fit one buggy but the other one had to fold hers.
It was my sisters first time out with her toddler and newborn. They kept telling her she should use a sling or get a smaller pram.
DSIS has epilepsy so using a sling isn't an option and the pram was chosen because it stops when you let go of the handle so if she has a seizure it won't roll away. It's not the smallest double but certainly not massive.

I had 3 under 3: no buggy spaces, everything had to be folded. We would walk one way into town (app 2 miles+) with oldest (mostly) walking, from choice. Bus home because oldest tired: fold double pushchair with new born in arms, toddler holding eldest's hand: bus arrives - push 2 older DC ahead, lift pushchair and shopping onto bus and pray for seats to be available . Can you tell this was many, many years ago? The only advantage we had then was bus conductors who would (mostly) help and passengers who stood if necessary. I wouldn't go back to it but I do wish so many younger people didn't feel so entitled. I wouldn't have laughed in his face, I would have told him he was pathetic.

Back then, gotolder, I'm guessing that the people who really couldn't cope just didn't go out or perhaps were lucky enough to have extended family networks to help.

I am going to sound really old but why don't people get small buggies for going on the bus and use their mahoosive pram things for when they are walking?

Yup. I've got a wonderful Swedish hand built behemoth that glides through snow. It's effectively a bed on wheels. Minus fifteen here today and we still enjoyed our walk.

I don't take it on the bus though because its absolutely fecking massive. Mini pram fits nicely.

I don't agree with whoever said that all buggies need to be folded. I live in the sticks and I'm dependent on the bus. I'm also still in considerable pain from the pregnancy and I physically can't hold baby And lift pram ...

I think it's better if parents, and let's face it mainly women, aren't forced into a massive undertaking if they want to/have to go somewhere. Having to fold down would limit lots of people and what opportunities are available to them. Even just grocery shopping.

You were rad gotolder, but some mums wouldn't be able to do that. It's much better now.