to be the tiniest bit flattered?

[SabinaTheBean]

went on a date last night (wish I actually had nightmares about beforehand as I thought he was very out of my league) and got wolf-whistled while walking down the street with him

DISCLAIMER: i'm not pretty, was wearing lots of make-up, it was dark. Also wolf-whistling never happens to me. Also it's offensive and outtdated

But, in spite of all this, AIBU to be a tiny bit flattered? awaits flaming for being horrible sexist woman with no life

"I don't think people see other people as objects, regardless of the context. People always understand that people are people and not objects.

I think it's all a load of rubbish to be honest"

Wow. Did someone mention sweeping generalizations?

It's always the aesthetically-challenged types who whine about objectification, in my experience. They've never been considered beautiful or sexy and they deeply resent it when anyone else is. It's probably why they spend their lives on Mumsnet.

Given the circumstances, i.e. that you got dressed up, were worried about your appearance in comparison to your dates, etc. I don't think YABU for feeling a tiny bit flattered. You were hoping to impress with your appearance and in a caveman way a wolf whistle is a signal that you did a "good job."

You acknowledge that its offensive and outdated, but knowing something on an intellectual level, and feeling automatic emotional disgust don't always go hand in hand.

Horsehead ha ha ha. You gots to be a man because that statement is very stupid and misogynistic. If by any slim chance you are a woman, work on your self-esteem. You donut.

My self-esteem is such that a wolf-whistle could never make me feel intimidated or objectified. I know I'm attractive so why be surprised when a man agrees? If he were to accompany it with a menacing posture or if he were to physically invade my space then I would feel justified in concluding he was an unhinged creep.

When I was 16 and on holiday with my Dad I got wolf whistled at. It felt so horrible and embarrassing. I felt even worse (if that was possible) when I realised it was a parrot that did it .

My Dad thought it was hilarious.

And so ends the story of the only time I've been wolf whistled at.

furiosa

OMG Furiosa was it a toy parrot?

I remember exactly the same thing happening to me on holiday.

It wasn't until I realised it was happening whenever I walked past a souvenir shop, that I finally twigged!

"Wow. Did someone mention sweeping generalizations?"

Yes. I did.

Worra No it was a real parrot.

When it first whistled I didn't dare look in the direction it came from but then it spoke in that distinctive "bird accent", something like "nice bum"

I'm getting embarrassed just remembering this

..and you should work on that resentful aspect of your personality that allows you to reprimand other women for being attractive.

There was or is simply no female equivalent to those diet coke ads. Sure, ads use beautiful women in them all the time, but I cannot think of an ad where a woman strips half naked, for no apparent reason, with half a dozen men practically masturbating over her.

The Lynx ads?? It's a similar premise.

Also the diet Coke ads subvert something that has been going on for centuries (women being defined in relation to how sexually attractive they are). I see the ads as a bit of lighthearted fun

Also I would argue that what makes men's advances more threatening when they sexually objectify women eg by whistling, is the fact that they are able to physically overpower a women, should they wish to. Thus one can assume an element of threat

If a woman propositions a man in this way, it's not exactly pleasant, but there is rarely the same element of physical force/overpowerment attached to it.

Anyone know what I mean?

It's always the aesthetically-challenged types who whine about objectification, in my experience. They've never been considered beautiful or sexy and they deeply resent it when anyone else is. It's probably why they spend their lives on Mumsnet.

Wow

What a horrible and rude thing to say.

Now, I don't think I'm an oil painting but I'm not awful to look at. I get the odd wolf whistle, car honk and gross comment when I'm out and about and I have never once found it flattering. I find it quite intimidating actually.

It's not to say that's how others should feel. OP: YANBU to feel how you feel. But I think you already know - on the whole - men who do this are not trying to compliment you, from my point of view it's always felt like they do it to watch you squirm, like they enjoy making you feel uncomfortable. walking to school as 13 year olds in school uniform it happened a lot to me and friends, and it was always like it was one big laugh for the blokes who did it. For me and my friends it was horrible.

Oh, horseshead- you are funny!

Irishdad- not sure if I understand you. Are you saying that there have never been advertisements where women's sexuality has been used to sell things?

HorsesHeads you are incorrect. People only resort to such rude comments if they're losing the argument. There are many beautiful feminists and people aren't ugly just because they disagree with you.