To be hurt?

[FlowersAndShit]

I made a birthday cake (pirate ship)as a gift for my nephew last year and one for SIL for her birthday, both cost about £15-20 each to make. We were talking about designs etc and she mentioned she'd never buy a professionally made cake as they cost too much and she can get one from Tesco for £7. She's just bought a huge princess castle cake for my niece who is 3 and cost her £100.

AIBU to be a bit hurt by her comments?

If OP's baking was good enough to make two cakes for her, why has the SIL now decided that OP's cakes and Tesco cakes aren't good enough and £100 is reasonable after all? It is a little insulting.

Unless the DD's cake was huge and elaborate and she thought it was too big an ask maybe? That would be understandable.

Huh?

Are you hurt that she didn't ask you to make your nieces cake?

Not sure of all the circumstances so just putting an idea out there about the princess cake.

At the time she said she'd buy from Tesco from now on, she hadn't yet seen the brochure or picture of this fancy princess cake. She may have come across this picture from the bakery website or online or in a shop and thought, "I must get that for dd's birthday party!" which would explain why she'd pay so much for it. It was a unique, very large, castle cake and she was impressed with it and thought her dd would love it. Just like if I see something that is really special for my ds, like a knit pullover that has a design he would love, buying that is not a statement against a relative who has knit him pullovers before and it may look contrary to a previous statement I may have made that he doesn't need any pullovers, he has enough already. Does that make sense?

The "not buying professional cake again when I can get cheap one from Tesco" comment after you'd made her family two specialized cakes is strange, thoughtless, and puzzling to me. I'm not sure why she said that. You'll have to give us more information around that conversation.

I don't understand either. Perhaps you SIL liked the the cake she bought and didn't want to impose on you every year.

Wow post a pic so we can see it.
I think she feels a bit hurt not to be asked.

Op people don't realise how long you can spend on making cakes. Perhaps she just saw a particularly beautifully made cake and decided to splurge. I would make sure you get to see it at £100 that is pretty expensive for a 3 yo. Keep baking it's lots of fun. The Range have some cutters etc at a very reasonable price. Roller too now with patterns. Trying not to buy any more stuff.

Sorry I meant I was upset because of her comment about buying one from tesco for £7 and she'd never pay for a professional cake. I found it insulting because i'd spent ages making and decorating it, only for her to make a thoughtless comment.

It's like saying It's not worth that much to buy a professional cake, but she was happy for me to make them for free. They weren't quite professional standard but pretty close.

To be honest I think you're being w bit over sensitive (unless you actually are a professional baker). It wasn't a comment on your cakes at all.

I can see why you're hurt, OP. The comment she made was unkind, what was her goal in saying that to you?

Buying the princess cake I can understand, because maybe she saw it and wanted it for her dd, but the thoughtless comment in the face of your making two specialized cakes, that I don't get. She had to know what she was saying.

I think we need pics tbh. If yours were a bit shit looking she might have just felt awkward telling you she would rather pay for one after all. If they were fabulous then she's just odd.

OP are you my friend?

A lovely friend of mine made a cake for DDs first birthday as a gift which must have taken ages and we all absolutely loved it! It was a beautiful cake! In fact it was so nice that I wanted to again have a "professional" standard cake at DDs second birthday, but friend didn't offer, so I went ahead and ordered one, no way would I ask my friend to do it as she has another job and is short on time and she may have felt obliged if I'd offered to pay her.

Could something like that have happened?

From your other posts op it sounds like you've had a rough time. Do you think your sil might not have wanted to burden you with all the work that comes with baking a big cake?

could be what Boo or Purple said. If it's what Back suggests, then that would certainly be hurtful.

I won't post pics because it will out me. I'm very critical of myself and even I was proud of how the cake turned out. She was thrilled with both cakes. We are both NC now so obviously she wouldn't ask me to make another, but I was just hurt when she said that, especially when I just found out she'd bought one professionally for £100. It felt like a slap in the face.

You say you are now NC?

I don't understand to be honest.

She wouldn't have asked you anyhow?

Perhaps you set such a high standard that when she can no longer ask you because you are NC that she had to pay out and get one made as the shop bought ones weren't good enough after what you had down for them?

What? You are no contact with her so she couldn't ask you anyway?
Ffs you are being ridiculous. If anything you should be FLATTERED, your cakes were so fab that she couldn't face shop bought after those so had to fork out loads to keep to the standard you set!

Or what random mess said!

An I the only one that really wants cake after reading this?

What? You're not in contact anymore?? How would she ask you then, anyway?

There are obviously bigger problems here than cakes.

If you're nc, when did the conversation you've described in your op take place?

I want cake too natty!

Glad I'm not the only one purple
**
Goes into the kitchen on a hunt for cake