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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in a complete panic about my episiotomy?

62 replies

strawberryandaflake · 03/01/2016 01:56

I had my boys three weeks ago and was given an episiotomy that I didn't consent to. That's not so much the issue rather than it's given me a massive panic. I am nowhere near healed and have 2 holes down there now as well as lots of sharp pulling pains. I keep crying about it and searching how to get it fixed privately, it's becoming an obsession.

I had a bad experience with some facial stitches before that meant my lip was stitched to my gum by 'accident' and now I am in a stress that the NHS has messed up my chacha without permission.

I suppose I just need someone to calm me down!

OP posts:
DropYourSword · 03/01/2016 02:00

I commented on your last thread. Have you seen your GP yet?

LorraineQuiche · 03/01/2016 02:05

Congratulations on your new babes.

This sounds a like mine when I had an infected stitch, it healed and the pain stopped quickly after my GP prescribed antibiotics.

Original poster
strawberryandaflake · 03/01/2016 02:32

Yes, the doc didn't seem interested, didn't even want to check it. It's not just sore, it feels wrong. I was on antibiotics for a week when I came home. It doesn't look infected, just stitched up randomly.

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 03/01/2016 02:43

You can bring it up at your six week check. I know a few friends who had repairs but both had the repairs about six months later. It takes a long time to heal up.

Can you phone the hospital / midwife to have a look?

Congratulations on your Ds btw

Original poster
strawberryandaflake · 03/01/2016 02:48

Ah thankyou. No sadly not. They also discharged me from midwife care without checking it, said it was up to my GP. I've just been passed around since I got pregnant. Feel totally let down.

OP posts:
2boysnamedR · 03/01/2016 02:57

Both you and baby should be checked at six weeks so bring it then. If you get fobbed off ask to see another GP at your practice.

My hospital was great and even readmitted me at two weeks so can you phone and ask them for advise?

I think it's early days I know the feeling of things never being right again. It should come right by itself but you shouldn't be left in pain. Don't risk a infection growing.

But two of my friends had it fixed so don't despair. One had a hole so it was fixed as didn't look right. Another friend was left with it being uncomfortable ( not painful it just alway felt weird) both fixed in day surgery under general.

Ditsy4 · 03/01/2016 03:02

Get some Calendula cream...it will help the healing. Congrats on your babies.

Sleepybunny · 03/01/2016 03:11

Hello, it's 3am so everything seems worse and problems become scary at this time.
It's early days, and these things take time to heal. Remember even tears heal up without stitches and your episiotomy will change quickly over time.
Take some ibuprofen try to get some rest (haha!)
If you still feel a lot of pain or not right, you need to phone your GP and insist you are not happy and need advice.

Mmmmcake123 · 03/01/2016 03:16

It's early days yet, give yourself time to heal and do early stage pelvic floor exercises. You will be fine xx

Original poster
strawberryandaflake · 03/01/2016 03:21

Thanks all. Will try the cream.

I know it's early... The boys are feeding... but I've been stressing about this for days now. Just paranoid I'll end up disfigured. Again. Xxx

OP posts:
Dipankrispaneven · 03/01/2016 03:36

Are you sure you didn't consent? You may have signed something agreeing to their taking necessary steps in your or the babies' best interests.

mariposa10 · 03/01/2016 03:37

You won't end up disfigured. If the stitches have come out it will take longer to heal. I did the same, I panicked and obsessed about it but mine healed. It took months before it went back to normal. Do pelvic floor exercises, it will promote healing by sending blood to the area. Sometimes an episiotomy is necessary and i think you need to make peace with the fact you've had one so that you can get on with enjoying your babies. You'll be fine, really!

katienana · 03/01/2016 03:42

Phone the hospital. I was worried about mine as still in pain 5 weeks PP. I was given an appointment and seen very quickly by a consultant who was very gentle and kind. There was another (female) Dr in the room too. They reassured me, explainEd what the procedure would be if it needed any further correction and even drew a diagram as I couldn't face looking at it myself. I really recommend you do this there is no point waiting and worrying about it.

icklekid · 03/01/2016 04:39

Mine took a long time to heal too I saw a nurse from our gp surgery weekly until it did after getting infected / stitches coming apart leaving a gaping hole. Don't be fobbed off demand to have it checked. Very sad your midwife refused I would write and complain when you are feeling stronger

mathanxiety · 03/01/2016 04:46

Another saying don't be fobbed off. Even if you went to the A&E with it they might look and see if there is something wrong.

DropYourSword · 03/01/2016 07:13

It's not an A&E issue, but you definitely shouldn't have been fobbed off by your GP. They should absolutely check it to ensure its healing correctly, especially if you're worried. Your midwife also shouldn't have discharged you without examining. Insist on being examined, go to another GP if necessary. If you're worried I wouldn't wait until your 6 week appointment.

RNBrie · 03/01/2016 07:20

Ask if your gp surgery has anyone who specialises in womens health. Out gp surgery has a list on the website of each gp and their areas of interest. Book an appointment with that gp. Don't be fobbed off, make sure they examine you and explain what's going on and why it feels weird. Trust your instincts, you know your body best.

DefinitelyNotElsa · 03/01/2016 07:21

Even if you have been discharged by the midwives, you remain under their care for 28 days after delivery. Call your maternity hotline and explain your concerns.

I had an episiotomy during the delivery of my DD. I wasn't aware it was being done, but accept that it was needed. DD is now 15 weeks old and everything has been feeling fine since about 7 weeks. It does take time, but you'll get there.

kinkytoes · 03/01/2016 07:23

Could you see another doctor? I had to have my stitches manually removed for it to heal, although hate to say it's early days for you still. Everything will still be swollen, it takes ages to calm down. I had dreadful panic too so I sympathise wholeheartedly Flowers

It's a long road sometimes to recover from something like this. I hope you get the help you need from your gp. Have you seen a health visitor yet? Mine was brilliant and picked up on things which my gp didn't. Ask as many people as you can and don't be fobbed off. Later down the line you may need physio, don't rule it out.

As for consent, I don't remember giving mine either but in a birth situation they have to do what's necessary for the safe delivery of the baby. My biggest problem was that I had no pain relief at the time which made my recovery even more difficult, mentally as well as physically.

I hope you feel better soon.

Newmanwannabe · 03/01/2016 07:57

I think it sounds like you need a review. Stitches dissolve in 2-3 months but really by 3 weeks I would expect you to be fairly comfortable and healing very well. It will take 6 weeks for your body to go back to normal. Are you taking regular pain relief? Regular paracetamol is surprisingly very good and anti-inflammatories if you are able to take them.. That can really help and are you getting enough rest and able to put your feet up? by writing "boys" I'm guessing you had twins... That in its own can be very time consuming.

Maybe go back to your GP, or hospital, or even a women's physio for a review. I'm a midwife and recommend any of my ladies who still have pain whilst having regular analgesia at 2weeks get a review. Take care Flowers

CaffeineBomb · 03/01/2016 08:01

It could be an infected stitch and in need of antibiotics. If you're worried phone 111 and see if you can get to an ooh today, the key is not to leave it. If you feel something is not right then make sure someone actually looks at it. Hope you feel better soon Flowers

kinkytoes · 03/01/2016 08:06

Sorry Newman but I wish people wouldn't keep spouting the 6 weeks crap. It took me 14 months to feel normal again. Not everyone heals the same way and it just makes you feel worse when people (especially hcps) give unrealistic time frames.

Cuppaand2biscuits · 03/01/2016 08:13

I was worried about mine, it still felt sore and not right. 10 weeks after the birth I went back to the gp who referred me straight to a gynaecology dept at the hospital. I was investigated and she said it was totally normal and very neat. I think a lot of it was psychological as I felt so mutilated

SweepTheHalls · 03/01/2016 08:19

I would also say that the 6 week check csn be a bit git and miss. My GP refused to discuss my recovery as he says dies the appointment was only about baby, do if you plan to raise the issue then, book a double appointment, 1 for you and 1 for baby. To achieve this you probably need to book pre birth!

Newmanwannabe · 03/01/2016 08:27

kinky I'm not going to go there with you, but I stand by what I said

Time frames.. Which are approximate and generally for the "well healthy population" are a good guide to know when to seek help. Obviously if you have underlying medical problems then healing can take longer... Eg. Diabetics may have a slower wound healing, or someone who had a haemorrhage is going to take longer to get their energy levels back

I came to this thread to help the OP, with the benefit of my experience and skills not to argue with anyone because I'm a HCP

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