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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be in a complete panic about my episiotomy?

62 replies

strawberryandaflake · 03/01/2016 01:56

I had my boys three weeks ago and was given an episiotomy that I didn't consent to. That's not so much the issue rather than it's given me a massive panic. I am nowhere near healed and have 2 holes down there now as well as lots of sharp pulling pains. I keep crying about it and searching how to get it fixed privately, it's becoming an obsession.

I had a bad experience with some facial stitches before that meant my lip was stitched to my gum by 'accident' and now I am in a stress that the NHS has messed up my chacha without permission.

I suppose I just need someone to calm me down!

OP posts:
Naty1 · 03/01/2016 08:33

Episiotomy with dc1 and tear with dc2. Both took much longer than 3w to stop hurting.
Plus there is swelling.
And you have to sit on it.
I dont think i was asked either, but i knew as i was having ventouse and forceps.
As per pp the gp can check at 6w.
I ended up back in for a large clot and wven though my tear stitches felt awful, the mw said it was fine.
And it hasnt hurt for a couple of months now at 5m.

roundaboutthetown · 03/01/2016 08:33

Whether the stitches have been done well or badly, they can't restitch the wound now, when it's all swollen and trying to heal. If it isn't actually painful most of the time, just looks odd, I would leave it until it is healed enough to know what it is actually going to end up looking like before you decide whether you want it redone. As for an episiotomy scar - that is better than a huge, natural tear that leaves you with faecal incontinence! They would not have given you an episiotomy for no good reason whatsoever - it would either have been for the safety of your babies, to help get them out quicker if they were distressed, or to avoid severe and unpredictable tearing.

So really, it's just the discomfort you should be bothered about for now, as with or without an episiotomy, childbirth does not do that part of your anatomy any good!

kinkytoes · 03/01/2016 08:36

Well that's very understanding of you Newman. (not)

I took issue with your statement "It will take 6 weeks for your body to go back to normal." which in your last post you appear to be backtracking on (thank you). Even someone with a healthy background can take a long time to recover - I had no other health issues.

Time frames can be a helpful guide of course. But that's not what you originally said (see quote).

When a gynae or a midwife tells you you should be feeling fine and you're not, it tends to make you feel a hell of a lot worse. Whether or not the OP has experienced this or will in the future, I don't know, but I wanted her to know that she's not alone if it makes her feel like I did.

roundaboutthetown · 03/01/2016 08:40

I agree - it takes plenty of otherwise perfectly fit and healthy people much longer than six weeks for their body to recover and it annoys me too when the six week thing is spouted, as it implies there must be something unhealthy about you if you aren't "back to normal" at six weeks.

roundaboutthetown · 03/01/2016 08:42

However, if it is set as a guideline for when to check how things are going, because you really aren't expected to be healed earlier than that, it's acceptable!

roundaboutthetown · 03/01/2016 08:45

It is odd that nobody will look at how your scar is healing, though, OP. It really would not take much effort for an experienced midwife or your GP to take a look for you to reassure you and seems like poor patient care to fob you off when you ask and are so clearly worried about it.

Hadron21 · 03/01/2016 08:46

Ask for a referral, if they don't give you one make a formal complaint. If it doesn't feel right then get it checked now - it's easier to fix now than in a few months time.

Congratulations too.

Ps if there's anyone else who can call on your behalf get them to do it. I was a bit to fragile to argue fur what I needed post birth.

Lostthefairytale · 03/01/2016 08:47

Mine definitely didn't feel good after 3 weeks, I had lots of pulling pain. I remember that it still wasn't right at my 6 week check and the GP said I may need a procedure but to give it a bit more healing time. It maybe took another 4 weeks to feel right but I didn't need any procedure. It sounds like this is becoming a focus which may not be healthy for you. It's such early days, your body and mind may just need a bit longer to heal.

Ughnotagain · 03/01/2016 08:50

Is there a different GP you can see? It sounds like it needs looking at.

My epis was infected and the stitches came apart. I had two courses of antibiotics but as they don't restitch I had to let it heal by itself. It was absolutely devastating at the time, I spent way too much time googling it and reading horror stories, and didn't believe anyone who said it'd heal.

DD is 7 months now and it has healed. I touched it the other day and could barely feel the scar any more. I'd say it felt healed from about 3 months. Sex is still slightly more delicate than before but massively improved from the first time we tried post-birth.

Flowers to you, because I know how shitty this is. Please press to have it looked at though because if it is healing normally then I expect that will help things for you mentally.

chumbler · 03/01/2016 08:50

Completely agree with kinky - my (good) gp looked at my stitches 6 months on and told me that it can take a year - 18 months to completely heal. Not saying that to scare you but it will take some time. That said, newman is right, you should be starting to feel a bit better. And your own peace of mind is so important Don't wait til 6 weeks, see a different gp or call the hospital or ask your hv to call the hospital, don't be fobbed off. I made the Midwife check me 3 times over the 2 weeks I was under them, and have been to gp since to check, as well as being seen by a consultant for an 8 week check. I had an episotomy and a 4th degree tear. You will be fine, I feel great 9 months on, but it's your body and your peace of mind and its so important to check

MummySparkle · 03/01/2016 08:53

OP do you have a minor injury unit near you? We have a lovely nurse-lead minor injuries unit near us. I know if I went there with something similar they would check out the stitches for me and make sure everything was doing okay

EasterRobin · 03/01/2016 08:54

Hi Strawberry,

If you don't feel right about it, get someone to check it in the next day or two. No need to wait and worry. Even if it's all healing fine, you'll feel a heck of a lot better if someone takes a look. I had a few different people check mine as it felt painful (was eventually given antibiotics for an infection and then it felt MUCH better). My health visitors checked several times on progress, so you could arrange that (either get them to visit or go to a drop-in session). You can also see any GP at your clinic as your allocated one doesn't sound much cop. That's probably the best option.

Aesthetically, it's too early to know how it will look, so leave that for now and just make sure it is healing properly.

As a completely 100% separate point, if you are actually feeling mentally unwell, that's REALLY common post-birth so consider having a chat with your health visitor/GP about that too. (Maybe you can book a double appointment with the different GP if relevant, since you'll be there anyway)

minijoeyjojo · 03/01/2016 09:09

My episiotomy got infected and the stitches burst on day 5. The first midwife I told about it wasn't interested and I ended up going to my GP about it who referred me back to the hospital. If your worried it's definitely worth getting someone to look at it, book another GP appointment and ask specifically to get it checked. My infection wasn't obvious (no discharge smell etc) but it was there on testing and I had two rounds of antibiotics to sort it. The antibiotics helped massively with the healing process.

I was really worried as there was a huge (well it felt huge to me!) gaping hole there for weeks. It kept me up at night stressing about it. Also as it was healing I ended up with a bulging bit which worried me. However by 6 weeks it was absolutely fine it has healed perfectly.

It takes a long time and the doctors told me it has to heal from the inside out. This means you end up feeling like nothing is changing for ages then suddenly within a few days it's all healed!

Try not to worry, but do get it checked for you peace of mind in case you need more antibiotics. I wouldn't wait until the 6 week check, book something tomorrow. I always told the receptionist that I needed to see someone asap as I thought my stitches had burst/were infected and I got appointments within the day. Don't let them for you off - the NHS can be far too good at that :(

Finally have tea tree oil baths or use some diluted in a spray bottle to spray along the stitches. It helps to keep it bacteria free.

BalloonSlayer · 03/01/2016 09:09

Sounds like you had a vaginal birth with twins Strawberry? Was that planned or did they arrive suddenly? Was one breech? As far as I know, from researching on behalf of friends who wanted vaginal births for breech babies, an episiotomy is considered pretty much essential for a safe breech delivery - the staff might have assumed this had all been discussed in advance.

Hope you're OK Flowers

Needtobebetter · 03/01/2016 09:11

My stitches came out with both of my DC, I didn't have an episiotomy but I tore (2nd degree, long) both times. The first time I ended up with antibiotics for a different infection but it seemed to speed up the healing down there. The second time the stitches all came out, one by one, and I had holes all the way through it. I was so worried but by 5 months it had knitted together and I'm just left with scars now (from both DC). It doesn't feel any different. The problem is that if you're left to worry about it for so long you're always going to be anxious about it. My maternity unit offers a 'pass' for 28 days after the birth and I thought this was standard even if the midwives have discharged you? Give them a ring and check but other than that make an appointment with the GP, explain your anxiety about it and the way it feels and they should check it for you.

3 weeks is very early, by 6 weeks I felt like I was recovering which is I think what they mean by the time frame. I didn't feel back to normal for quite a while, my DC2 is 7 months and although I'm not in any pain I still feel like it's recovering. It can be a slow process and it's not nice, but give yourself time to recover without the anxiety. The anxiety is something you really don't need and your GP or practice nurse can easily put your mind at rest.

If it turns out that it hasn't been repaired properly then they will redo it, but they won't until you're completely healed so there's no rush for it to be sorted out unless it's causing a lot of discomfort. And don't forget, everything else down there will be swollen and upset so once everything has settled it might seem fine.

Congratulations on your twins!

Naty1 · 03/01/2016 09:13

Also if bf things can take longer to feel normal as no oestrogen.

Thymeout · 03/01/2016 10:13

It sounds as if a lot of your distress is caused by the idea that you have been injured in some way.

When I had my three dcs, an episiotomy was routine to avoid a tear, which they thought would be more difficult to stitch and cause more problems. Midwives would be criticised if they allowed a tear to happen because they hadn't done an episiotomy.

I know it's different now for a straightforward birth, but with twins, would you really have gone against medical advice and refused?

Three weeks is very early. It's far too soon for it to have healed. As pp have suggested, get it checked out for reassurance, but the chances are it's fine.

Congratulations on your twins!

BrokenVag · 03/01/2016 10:14

Mine still isn't healed after over 5 years. Long story but not checked at 6 weeks then fobbed off and treatment has been ineffective - they are not following promised timescale. Please don't be fobbed off like I have been.

Whatdoidohelp · 03/01/2016 10:18

Can you ask your HV to arrange a mw to come and look at it. Stress that no one has actually bothered to check it and you are worried.

BrokenVag · 03/01/2016 10:19

It is odd that nobody will look at how your scar is healing, though, OP. It really would not take much effort for an experienced midwife or your GP to take a look for you to reassure you and seems like poor patient care to fob you off when you ask and are so clearly worried about it.

The GP I begged to check it after many many months didn't even spot it was a midline episiotomy or that it wasn't healed at all and told me to "just get on with it". I'm considering a complaint.

BrokenVag · 03/01/2016 10:20

Stress that no one has actually bothered to check it and you are worried.

It wouldn't normally be checked at 3 weeks anyway!

LBOCS2 · 03/01/2016 10:41

My stitches were checked at home by my MW (on the sofa which felt very odd!) at about 3/4 days, and then again at 6 weeks by my GP.

I didn't have an episiotomy - I tore in two places instead - but I was asked about the stitches frequently and they were checked more than once. If I were you I'd push to see a second dr.

DropYourSword · 03/01/2016 10:43

Stress that no one has actually bothered to check it and you are worried.

It wouldn't normally be checked at 3 weeks anyway!

It ABSOLUTELY should have been. Best practice is daily when in hospital and definitely before discharge.

BrokenVag · 03/01/2016 10:50

How many people stay in for more than 3 weeks after giving birth? I was discharged after 1 night (stitches were checked 12 hours after birth when catheter was removed and not again) and saw the midwife at home every day for a week. Then handed over to HV.

THE 6 week check was all about DC and a cursory question to me of "how are you feeling?" Nothing about stitches or healing whatsoever.

chumbler · 03/01/2016 10:52

Broken - they should be checked. Especially if she has asked for this. Sorry if you didn't receive this care