Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

to think DP is not 'expanding the kids vocabulary', he is being a dick

46 replies

livvielunch · 02/01/2016 23:00

DCS are aged 9, 4, 3 and baby. DP keeps purposely using alternative words for things when speaking to the DC. For example, he told them a friend we were going to visit had a bouncy castle in their garden. It was actually a trampoline and he was pissed off that the DC pulled him up on it and said it's the same thing He asked one of them to pass him bog paper and moaned at them when they didn't know what he was talking about. He asked the eldest if I had finished my 'brew' and again got annoyed when she didn't know what he meant. He told one to pass him the stroller instead of the pushchair for the doll and so on.

After about the fourth instance of him getting arsey with the DC over not understanding him today, I asked why he seems to be being purposely difficult. He said he's trying to expand their vocabulary by using alternative words for things...! Don't get me wrong, I do this but I change a word in context so they can understand the meaning. For example, if we're pretending to be magic I'll say I've transformed a dog into a cat rather than changed and they'll pick up and use the word in future. If they describe something as big, I'll agree that it's huge/massive/ginormous etc.

AIBU to think the DC are right yo be frustrated with his way and that he's being unfair by moaning at them for it?

OP posts:

AgentZigzag · 02/01/2016 23:05

How can they know WTF he means if they've never come across the words before??

Sounds to me as though he's setting them up to fail, it can't be anything else, unless he knows they all have an amazing psychic ability and hasn't told you about?

I'd get onto an online thesaurus and memorize some obscure words you can use throughout the day with him

PerspicaciaTick · 02/01/2016 23:08

Using lots of words and phrases - great.
Getting arsey when not understood - fuckwittery of the highest order.

Mmmmcake123 · 02/01/2016 23:08

Is he worried that their use of words will be superior to his? Bog paper????

VenusInFauxFurs · 02/01/2016 23:10

Calling a trampoline a bouncy castle isn't expanding anybody's vocabulary. Its just getting stuff wrong.

Dipankrispaneven · 02/01/2016 23:12

The sort of vocabulary he's purporting to teach in itself sounds odd. It's just inaccurate to describe a trampoline as a bouncy castle, stroller isn't the normal term for pushchair in the UK, and the term bog roll hardly amounts to an enhancement of their vocabulary. Suggest to him that the best way to widen their vocabulary would be simply to read books to them.

CocktailQueen · 02/01/2016 23:13

Bouncy castle does not = trampoline!

If you're trying to teach dc new words you do it in a way and in a context that they will understand...

Your dh is being a dick, sorry.

AgentZigzag · 02/01/2016 23:14

'DP? Did you manage the gardening floricultural task we'd talked about today?'

'Darling, could pour us a very large G and T you administer the potation for us tonight?'

'Oh, why are you such a fuckwit hairbrained clodpate DP?'

CFSsucks · 02/01/2016 23:21

YANBU. Why would something think calling toilet roll bog paper is a good thing to teach? It sounds shit and I don't know anyone who calls it that. Bouncy castles and trampolines are 2 different things. Stuff like that makes my teeth itch!

It sounds like he is following your example and getting it spectacularly wrong.

wakeupandsmellthecoffee · 02/01/2016 23:31

He just got the area because they pulled him up on being wrong on the word trampoline .what an idiot to be in competition. With your own kids .he is not very nice

ReallyTired · 02/01/2016 23:37

I think your partner has good intentions, but unless he knows what the words mean and uses them correctly he will not expand anyone's vocabulary.
In laymen's terms he will end up looking like a dick.

Seeyounearertime · 02/01/2016 23:43

Are they all his DC too? Has he spoken to them before today?

Seems an odd thing to just random ly start doing after 9 years? You'd thinknhed have at least a vague idea he's being a jack ass fanny badger.

IguanaTail · 02/01/2016 23:47

He's being a nob. The trampoline was the wrong word, and the other words are vernacular that the kids aren't used to.

Yes it's normal to expand vocabulary within context, so saying "transform" rather than change is absolutely correct, because they can work it out.

You should look up some Yorkshire or Scottish terms for things and use them with him - see how he likes it.

ReallyTired · 02/01/2016 23:51

Maybe he should stick reading stories. If he picks children's books written at least 50 years ago then he will come cross different vocabulary used in the right context. (The kids might laugh if he picks Enid Blyton with names like Fanny and Dick and words like queer and gay.)

theycallmemellojello · 02/01/2016 23:52

Apart from the trampoline thing, which was just inaccurate, I don't see anything wrong with him using those terms. They're kids, they'll hear lots of words they don't know all the time, and yes it is expanding their vocabulary. However, this only works if you explain what words mean when they ask, so yes he is an arse for being annoyed that they ask what words mean, that's an important part of learning.

Potatoface2 · 02/01/2016 23:52

has he been watching to much trash tv over christmas?

Twitterqueen · 02/01/2016 23:57

He's being a dick - and also EA. He is deliberately setting out to cause confusion and uncertainty in your DCs, which will undermine their confidence.

I think this is horrible actually. There are ways of increasing vocabulary and this isn't one of them.

ReallyTired · 03/01/2016 00:00

I think it's a little excessive to describe him as emotionally abusive. He is being a numpty, but his behaviour is not extreme enough to emotionally scat his kids for life.

teeththief · 03/01/2016 00:04

seeyou the 9 year old isn't his

Twitterqueen · 03/01/2016 00:13

The 'DP' is getting "pissed off" and "annoyed" when the DC don't understand what he means. To deliberately set out to confuse children and then display anger and irritation at their confusion is abusive in my book.

CalleighDoodle · 03/01/2016 00:14

What else is it if not a brew?

AgentZigzag · 03/01/2016 00:20

To a 3 or 4 YO Calleigh, a cup of tea?

sleeponeday · 03/01/2016 00:23

Like hell is he trying to expand their vocabulary.

maddening · 03/01/2016 00:26

Teaching them would not involve him getting arsey - eg the stroller - what do you mean dad? - I mean the pushchair, it is a word people in America use for pushchair, so by explaining the word he is trying to teach them (apparently) he accomplishes the apparent plan without being a knobend.

BertrandRussell · 03/01/2016 00:27

Nobody in real life actually says "brew" do they?

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 03/01/2016 00:27

He's a pathetic twerp. Trying to make yourself feel superior to young children isn't that hard, and getting annoyed when you've deliberately set out to confuse them is unkind (putting it mildly). What is he, bloody twelve?

Tell him to eff off with his cruel antics.

Flip

1 2