AAAH friend and money what do I do?

[PotterBot]

About 3 years ago a friend of mine was very hard up. She phoned me crying and asked for help, I know it must have taken a lot for her to do that but she is my oldest friend. I sent her £500 and then on another occasion sent her £250.

I am a single mum myself, she is married. She never told her husband she borrowed the money from me as far as I am aware.

3 years on, I am now in a tight spot with money. She always tells me how skint she is still but her kids both got those segway/hover things for Christmas, she now works and her husband now is in steady employment too.

How do I approach this? There was never a suggestion that the money was a gift, I don't have that much to give away but how do I ask for it back? A payment plan like £20 a week isn't really going to help at the moment.

Thanks

How rude! I appreciate that things have been tough for your friend over the years, but how can you borrow £750 from a friend and not even attempt to pay it back?

Even £5 a month over the past 3 years would have been better than just hoping you might forget/never ask.

I hate confrontation too, but you really do need to ask for the money back. It's your money, and it sounds as though you can't afford to write off £750 at the moment.

Personally, I'd probably send a polite request via e-mail to start with - something along the lines of things being hard for you financially just now so you really need the loan to be repaid. I imagine her response to that will either be to address the issue straightaway (whether she can afford to pay the whole amount in one go or not) OR she will ignore you and suddenly become very hard to get hold of. If she does the latter, I would be very tempted to apply to the Small Claims Court as she is clearly not a true friend.

Definitely ask for it back, it's a lot of money. If it were me I'd broach it by text first, the phrasing others here have suggested is good. Even if she saw it as a gift at the time, it would be perfectly appropriate for you to ask for an equivalent 'gift' now that your positions are reversed.

However, please don't do what has been suggested and ask her in front of her husband straight off the bat. You don't know what their situation is, if he ever knew about the loan at all, if it was to pay off a secret debt she had racked up. Please give her a chance to do the right thing before you potentially open up a whole heap of trouble for her.

Best of luck, I hope you get it all back.

AnnieLouise is right do not ask for small amounts as you need money. She may struggle to repay the whole £750 in a lump but as long as she shows willing with a substantial amount (say £250 s a start) at least you'll know she cares enough to make the effort for you in your hour of need.
You can look at another way, she should instantly realise that you would not need to ask had you not lent it her in the first instance.
Also, meet face to face... Let us know how you get on. Good luck.

Not the first time this has happened. Best answer may be to get her to set up a standing order for "x" pounds a month what she can afford rather than risk a bust up and loose it all and get it back that way and as the olde Victorian adage goes,

'ner a borrower or lender be;!

Yeah I'd ask for £200 per month by standing order and if you don't like confrontation definitely do it by text not face to face. She should be embarrassed not you.

TBH, I would just say that now they're both working could she pay it back. Tell her you're in bad straits yourself now, and need it.

OP, if she feels comfortable enough to ask for and take £750 from you then you should be able to ask for it back.
When she asked you for the money it was because she was broke etc, just say thats where you are now and you need your money back.
Considering how generous and considerate you've been any half decent human would give you your money back!

I would say 'I need to speak to you about the money you owe me. You're in a much better place now to pay me it back and I am really struggling and need it back. Can you do it in one payment or split it across 2 - say £400 this month and £300 next?'

Then there is no discussion about was it a loan or not, you are making it clear you expect it back, you need it and the most you can do is allow 2 payments.

And it is then up to you if you are prepared to allow 3 x £250

Well in my past experiences of getting paid it generally works better more small amounts rather then a few none existent bigger ones.