Friend has cancelled me for a holiday that's already booked and paid for.

[Snowyxmastree]

I don't know how to handle this situation.

9 friends 4 couples and 1 single have booked to go on a holiday. I have paid for the flights outright and the hotels get paid for on check in. Everyone has paid for the flights bar the single friend.

I have had to rearrange the booking once already as we have booked non refundable rooms and 4 in the party got invited to a family members wedding.

I have just received a message from single friend to say that she is embarrassed to say that she can no longer go due to the cost. She's owes me for the flight and I have been chasing her for a couple of weeks now. Plus the hotel needs to be paid for nearer the time.

Everybody knows this all non refundable but she hasn't mentioned reimbursing me.

How do I go about doing this?

I will not be doing this again despite this being a annual thing for 5 years now with no issues.

I am so pissed off with friend as the hotel was booked mainly as she was unhappy with a lot of hotels as they didn't do single rooms.

Please help me ask her for this money I am owed. It's £550.

[BarbaraofSeville]

Disagree about the rest of the group covering the cost and the friend still going. Why should everyone else pay so she gets a free holiday.

OP do you know if anything has changed in her circumstances that means she can't afford it now but could have before?

Is she genuinely skint or just bad with money? She needs to pay her share either way.

[yakari]

Unless there is a big back story on why her circumstances have changed I'd start by being checking with the airline and hotel on exactly what can't be recouped and then email back saying you're sad she can't come, you've double checked what you can do BUT the costs of X still need to be covered. Break it down very clearly in an email --- then call and speak to her but refer back to the email for the details.
Shit situation all round but you just need to be very open about it

[intothewoods]

Doreen that's so aggressive! Softly softly to begin with.

[Hulababy]

Sorry but would should the other travellers have to pay towards her costs?! It's not their job to find someone's holiday.

And why should the op have to be out of pocket, or even accept instalments? That's just not fair.

Presumably this single friend is an adult and made a decision to join the group holiday. As such they should have organised finances accordingly. Unless there has been some major unplanned financial issue such as an unexpected redundancy then I can't see why others should even have to suggest bailing her out.

First op, you need to text back and let her know that's its unfortunate she can't make it. But then you do need to let her know which costs are non refundable and when they are due I.e. When your credit card payment is due.

£550 is a lot of money for the op to have to write off!

[rollonthesummer]

I can't believe that this friend seriously expects the OP to just cough up the £550+ and expect to continue their friendship.

Surely, either

1. she's fully expecting to pay the £550 and just can't afford the spending money
   

1. Knows she can't pay any money and is expecting a massive backlash/repercussions from her text
   

More info is needed though
How long have you known this friend?
Is she financially ok usually?
Has she ever pulled out of similar events before? If so- what has happened?
Was she ok being the only single in a couples holiday? That's an bit of an unusual set up anyway.

[Damselindestress]

Your friend was aware that the holiday was non-refundable when she booked. She owes you the money. Do you know if something unexpected has affected her finances, like a job loss, or is she just bad with money? I would be more sympathetic if she is going through a crisis but she still needs to pay you back. Offering her the opportunity to pay in installments is a possible compromise but it depends on your financial circumstances, I know I wouldn't be in a position to do that. Getting written acknowledgement of the debt, such as her admitting that she owes the money, will help if you take the small claims court route.

Sorry but I think it was a bad idea to pay for everyone in advance and then they pay you back. I'm glad you are not doing it again. Everyone should pay for themselves upfront next time rather than putting that kind of pressure on you.

[GabiSolis]

Gosh yes, this is very difficult. I booked a group holiday for four of us a couple of years ago and I initially was quite worried about getting people to pay up even though they are close friends. They all did, but it's been enough to put me off organising it from a financial perspective again.

I think you have to discuss from the view that it was never a consideration she shouldn't pay. Something along the lines of 'oh what a shame, you already have to pay for flights and hotel though, so how much more were you expecting to pay out? Surely spending money won't be that much?. You need to make it explicitly clear that she owes you this money and that paying is not optional.

[MooseTrap]

I really wouldn't do instalments not after subbing BIL and SIL for their wedding AND them never paying me back. They went on holiday instead. The instalment plan just prolonged everything Not that I'm bitter

[RB68]

I think there are two optins

1. person cancelling pays (seems unlikely)
   
2. The costs are shared between all holidayers
   

Why should one person bear all the cost of a friend cancelling on the group. I would tell her these are the options too as then she may realise she is costing ALL of them money and likely to loose all friendships.

Lesson - do not book these things without the money in hand

[lighteningirl]

I'm with Doreen polite but firm your friend is the rude one

[nauticant]

Like others have said, the small claims court is an option. I used it to sue redacted for a few hundred quid.

If possible get into an email discussion with her, nothing too formal sounding, in order to get her to acknowledge she'd agreed to make various payments, including setting out when things were agreed, what they were for, the amounts, and then if you fail completely to get the money out of her think about filing in the small claims court. It's straightforward and would utterly destroy the friendship but if someone stiffed me like that the friendship would be toast anyway.

[KatharinaRosalie]

I would also not jump to conclusions - I have read some brass neck stories on MN but a reasonable person surely wouldn't actually expect that a friend will simply pay for her holiday (whether she's going or not). She didn't actually say she's not paying OP back, so before you go to court or anything, just says that oh dear, will see if we can get the taxes back and ask when she's transferring the money

[BarbaraofSeville]

There is the possibilty that the friend doesn't realise that certain parts of the holiday are non-refundable even if she doesn't travel.

[Snowyxmastree]

Hotel is non refundable tried to cancel 2 rooms to be told it was non refundable but as a guesture of goodwill they would change dates for us at no extra cost even tho the new week was a lot more money.

She has been with us 4years in a row now.

She is always pleading poverty but spends her money on expensive items. We are quite close but she is a closed book. Only tells us minimal info.

Worse thing is we had heard from someone not in our holiday group she said she wasn't sure if she was going before booking the flights so I triple checked she was the first to reply and said she would get the money to me that day. It never happened.

Thanks for tips I think the best route to take now is what was mentioned "are you sure you can't come as its all non refundable anyway" will have to think how to word it and will get inspiration from your posts

[TendonQueen]

It very much depends on your history with your friend how you initially approach this, but it remains the case that the holiday is non-refundable and so there is still money owed by her even if she doesn't go. I would reply saying that's a real shame but you will need to work out how she can cover the non-refundable costs, and it may therefore still be less punitive to come on the holiday. See what you get back from that.

[ElinorRochdale]

There is the possibilty that the friend doesn't realise that certain parts of the holiday are non-refundable even if she doesn't travel.

It was her responsibility to find out the t&cs before committing herself.

Last year a friend of mine booked a holiday for a group of us. She dealt directly with the hotel, but I went on the hotel website myself to find out what their cancellation was.

[scarlets]

Given that the tax is almost certainly refundable, I'd find out what exactly is refundable, and then let her know what's owing via email ( in a positive way ie "good news - you owe £400 not £550!"). Don't offer instalments unless she asks because it could get tricky if she ceases repayments.

[rollonthesummer]

How long ago did you book the holiday?

[ElinorRochdale]

*cancellation policy.

[Snowyxmastree]

Hotel was booked months ago.

Flights were booked less than two weeks ago.so if she was going to pull out then would of been the time.

Not in a financial position to do instalments the only money we have in savings is what we have saved for the holiday. Without that, we can't afford to go our selfs

[JenniferYellowHat1980]

OP, I don't mean to sound snippy but why did you part with that sort of money knowing that the only cushion you had were your holiday savings? If she doesn't pay up, can you afford to go?

[bloodyteenagers]

There is the possibilty that the friend doesn't realise that certain parts of the holiday are non-refundable even if she doesn't travel
Read the op - the friend was well aware.

I would be direct.
As you remember before I booked I said it was all non refundable, hence I asked everyone several times if they were sure. And as such, your share still needs paying. The cost of flights and hotel is £550. My bank details, in case you have lost them are xxx

If she doesn't want to pay, then I would go down the small court avenue.