I just want to be a Mother

[FlowersAndShit]

That's all, I just want to be able to be a mum, have my own family. It's the one thing that has always kept me going and made me hopeful for the future. I have MH issues (depression, anxiety, autism) so it's probably not a good idea. I've never been in a relationship as I'm a bit of a man hater. Despite how fucked up myself and my own family is, I reckon i'd be a really good mother. I've never even had a relationship and have considered using a sperm donor, I'm 25. Please don't tell me I have plenty of time, because I really don't.

I have endometriosis and adenomyosis so I probably won't be able to have children very easily. I don't understand what I did to deserve all of these problems. I don't have a single friend in this world, and i'm heartbroken. I just want the family I never had, and promised to give myself. I feel like i'll always be on the outside looking in.

I advise others to check out the posting history of Pearl143 and under no circumstances PM him/her/it now or ever.

I'm 40ish, and feeling ancient today, so am tempted to join the condescending chorus telling you that you've loads of time and shouldn't be fretting about grown-up stuff yet. However, plenty of women feel ready at 25 (which isn't that young, incidentally, despite what pregnant 44 year olds might need/want to believe) and those with gynae issues obviously need to give particularly careful thought to timing. I don't know whether ttc is right for you OP, or how many more years of fertility you've got, but I reckon professional advice from your gynaecologist and psych would prove pretty useful. If they suggest you wait, so be it.

Bear in mind that if perfectly healthy folk were the only ones allowed to have babies, the birth rate would plummet, with disastrous economic and social consequences. Plenty of unwell people make decent parents, and plenty of tip-top people make mediocre parents. You can't predict very easily what kind you'll be. I've known some really unlikely people step up to the plate.

Look after yourself. Talk to the pros.

I nearly went down the 'married with kids' route in my mid twenties, convinced nothing would make me happier, but (following lots of peer and parental pressure) chose to focus on my career instead. Looking back, had I have stayed with that partner, the relationship would never have lasted because the person I am now (nearly 44) and then are very different (in terms of my values, interests, priorities and what I want from a partner).

Now, finally, I am in a great relationship with a wonderful man who I met in my late 30s. He will be a fantastic dad. Finally, I am ready to be a mum and we are ready to be parents. It feels so right
... Only problem is that I had an early menopause aged 40 and will therefore never be a birth mother.

I am telling you this not because I want sympathy, but because - as Scarlets suggests - there is never a 'perfect time' and for all those in their late 30s/early40s lucky enough to be able to conceive, there are many others, like me, who simply left it too late.

Fingers crossed fu you acorn I hope you manage to give joy to a little child soon