To think this is rude

[toastedbeagle]

My Dsis came up yesterday to visit us and we exchanged Christmas gifts. Her husband didn't come as he was at work so she took his gifts away with her. I'd bought him a couple of items (map, calendar, coffee table book) and also some aftershave that he wears.

I've just received a text which says "Bob sadly already has one and a half bottles of Smelly stuff. Can it be exchanged for A.n.other? Where is it from?"

I'm a bit speechless that there isn't a "thank you" in any of this. I feel quite pissed off. She didn't bring my husband anything at all because "she ordered something online - aftershave he already has ironically - but it hasn't come yet".

I haven't responded yet as I am seething but wondered if I am old fashioned expecting someone to give thanks first, or that I shouldn't have to replace the gift?!

Reply "Tell you what, why don't you give it back to me and you keep the stuff you said you've ordered for DH. He also has a lot left of it but I was too polite to say anything yesterday. But thank you for the thought."

I'd go with this. I do think your sister, and indeed, Bob have been rude and YANBU. I'd probably suggest to them, that next year, you don't exchange gifts.

Very rude indeed. How about a text back saying "didn't understand msg at first had to re read it, sorry are you saying he doesn't want/need present? If so do whatever you wish, the gift was kindly meant".

"Bob sadly already has one and a half bottles of Smelly stuff. Can it be exchanged for A.n.other? Where is it from?"

Sadly now I have handed the gift to you, its nothing to do with me anymore, however please feel free to sell it.

Am tempted to say "stick it on eBay" if you want. Can't be bothered doing an Amazon return. I haven't responded to the text and heard nothing back!

Given he's a grown man who earns a decent wedge, he can easily buy himself a different aftershave if he needs it. I don't think adults are obliged to buy Christmas gifts, and having spent £70 on him without even a thank you, could well be the last year I do so!

My DH view is to request aftershave at Xmas, he usually gets 2-3 bottles of his favourite and then use it all up throughout the year. Assumed BIL would adopt same approach but clearly not!

I am voting for "Tell her you got it from the market" just for the sheer fun of her reaction!

Tell her you shoplifted it.

Or just a very pass-agg 'You're welcome hun!!!!xxx'

Ha ha, go with Bogey's text

Good job she's not my sister I would have texted back before drawing breath.

Don't bother next year OP

I would ignore it. this will probably annoy your sister much more than a snotty reply. You know is is rude. I wouldn't engage about it at all.

Is it possible it's your BIL's favourite but DSis hates is and is thinking please God, not another year of this?