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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is rude

60 replies

toastedbeagle · 31/12/2015 00:40

My Dsis came up yesterday to visit us and we exchanged Christmas gifts. Her husband didn't come as he was at work so she took his gifts away with her. I'd bought him a couple of items (map, calendar, coffee table book) and also some aftershave that he wears.

I've just received a text which says "Bob sadly already has one and a half bottles of Smelly stuff. Can it be exchanged for A.n.other? Where is it from?"

I'm a bit speechless that there isn't a "thank you" in any of this. I feel quite pissed off. She didn't bring my husband anything at all because "she ordered something online - aftershave he already has ironically - but it hasn't come yet".

I haven't responded yet as I am seething but wondered if I am old fashioned expecting someone to give thanks first, or that I shouldn't have to replace the gift?!

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 31/12/2015 08:31

Text back "tell Bob he's welcome."

Borninthe60s · 31/12/2015 08:36

I'd text back and say how upset you are that the first thing bob didn't say was thank you. Then say that aside you've not kept receipt!

Borninthe60s · 31/12/2015 08:37

Or just say well your husband is rude but at least he smells nice!!

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 31/12/2015 08:37

Maybe people are trying to tell Bob something.

TaliZorah · 31/12/2015 08:41

Badly worded but I don't think there's a problem, surely you would rather he's got something useful than waste your money

Roussette · 31/12/2015 08:42

I wouldnt answer. That would be so annoying to Bob's DW. Then she can take your silence how she likes.

YakTriangle · 31/12/2015 08:44

'I don't have the receipt sorry. Still, Bob won't run out for a while will he? Thank you for your lovely message of thanks, it made my day.'

CallieTorres · 31/12/2015 08:45

how about the classic MN

Hmm head-tilt, did you mean to be so rude?

voodoolooloo · 31/12/2015 08:45

Very rude not Include a 'thank you'. I received 2 bottles of the same perfume. It's my signature smell therefore I'll eventually use both. Is Bob not the same?!
I'd tell him to Bob off if I were you! Or exchange it with your husbands aftershave which she hasn't yet purchased waiting for the sales,no doubt cheeky bugger.

Higge · 31/12/2015 08:52

I am so glad we avoid the lovely exchange of unneeded gifts with relatives - why bother when it causes this kind of shit.

LordBrightside · 31/12/2015 09:05

That is unbelievable. Tell them to fuck off. It amazes me that grown adults see Christmas as an opportunity for material gain in this way. People should just accept what they are given and say thank you. That's that.

BathshebaDarkstone · 31/12/2015 09:07

BOF Grin

BalloonSlayer · 31/12/2015 09:21

Reply "Tell you what, why don't you give it back to me and you keep the stuff you said you've ordered for DH. He also has a lot left of it but I was too polite to say anything yesterday. But thank you for the thought."

MamaLazarou · 31/12/2015 09:24

Very rude! A similar thing happened to me last year - I just ignored it. If you don't like the present someone has bought you, you just smile and say thank you, then re-gift.

Surely if it's a fragrance he already uses, he can just put it away til he has run out?

ilovesooty · 31/12/2015 10:36

It's very rude. I agree with people who say they wouldn't reply at all.

goodnightdarthvader1 · 31/12/2015 10:51

So odd. It's not like a duplicate coffee cup or an iPod. It's a resource that will run out and he will need more of. Why bother exchanging? SO rude and entitled, especially without even a token thank you.

JacquesHammer · 31/12/2015 11:02

It isn't difficult to deal with that situation in a far more polite way surely?

"Thank you so much for the gifts - Bob loved them. Unfortunately he has quite a stockpile of smelly stuff so was wondering whether you have the receipt and we could exchange. Thanks again"

As an aside......why isn't Bob messaging himself?!

DownstairsMixUp · 31/12/2015 11:05

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 31/12/2015 11:16

That was abrupt!
I would just text back:
I'll have it back for DH then. You keep what you ordered for him for (BIL's name).

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 31/12/2015 11:23

Did she not say thank you when you gave it to her?

If she did and you have the kind of relationship where you can be quite frank with each other then I don't think it's rude.

So I don't know I yabu. It depends on the above.

RB68 · 31/12/2015 11:25

if you have receipt just let her have it, but I would also make a point of telling her its ditto re hers for your DH

VintageDresses · 31/12/2015 11:27

Texts often come across ruder than intended. Is she usually rude? I'd like to think my relationship with my sister is such that she could ask me to swap a duplicate present, although I would find it rude from anyone I wasn't close to.

I dont think it's worth making a fuss over - just tell her to give it back to you and keep/exchange whatever she bought for dh.

GinandJag · 31/12/2015 11:31

Tell her you got it from the market ;)

Buttons23 · 31/12/2015 11:33

Surely she already said thank you for the gifts when she saw you do why would you need her to say thank you again. I certainly wouldn't see it as overly rude, it's my sister I know her.

It's her husband who still needs to say thank you.

TendonQueen · 31/12/2015 11:37

Yes it's rude and I'd send BalloonSlayer's reply.

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