To ask what song lyrics you've totally misheard?!

[ffs78]

Our lips are sealed - Fun Boy Three. I still sing "I licked a seal!" Does anybody else still habitually sing a lyric they know they've heard wrong?!

[CheshireChat]

Not exactly what you're asking OP, but after watching some misheard lyrics videos on YouTube I can't listen to NightWish- Wishmaster without laughing. "Master, apprentice, hard core/ hard porn, Steven Seagal..."

[TheFirstNoelHeadbands]

I'm 41 so bear in mind I have probably drunkenly bawled this song a hundred times, last week I realised that the lyric in 'Rock DJ' was give no head- no backstage passes

And not

Got no, heck no! Backstage passes

As if Robbie was being all fair and even about letting people backstage

[PaulAnkaTheDog]

'Is it that look in your eyes, or is it these dancing Jews?' (Dancing JUICE)

Bruno Mars: Marry You

'Preteen skin was showing' (ripped jeans, skin was showing)

Carly Rae Jepson: Call Me Maybe

'Calling John Major' (Call me when you try to make her up)

REM: Sidewinder Sleeps Tonight

[rollonthesummer]

'Beelzebub has a devil in a sidecar' -Bohemian Rhapsody!!

[MonstrousPippin]

As a very young child, every year, when Christmas came around ...

Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day you gave it away.
This year, two semi-brown tears; I'll give 'em to someone special.

I was well into my teens before I got the real words.

[knobblyknee]

Teardrop Explodes; 'Lost my cotton socks, I'm in the news'. My friend insisted it was 'lost my cotton socks I'm in the nude'. Other people say its bless my cotton socks'.
Another version is 'wash my cotton socks I never use'.

Safety Dance, Men Without Hats; 'Like an African Imbecile.' I though the song was racist for years. Recently discovered its actually
'..And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile...'

Theres one by HIM that I always hear as 'staining shelves'. I cant remember which one it is now.

[Potatoface2]

jason derulo.....having the shits on the floor but nothing on me

[ComposHatComesBack]

You know that song "Groovin'......on a Sunday afternoooooon

Tis called 'Groovin' and is by the Young Rascals.

In terms of misheard lyrics, I must have heard REM's 'It's the end of the world as we know it' many many times and still have no idea what the lyrics are beyond the chorus and the opening line and that Leonard Bernstein is mentioned somewhere.

[aquashiv]

As a child I used to sing I will be your prostitute whenever you want me to. Instead of I'll be your substitute. I was only corrected by a nun at the convent who found it quite amusing.

[LalaLyra]

My DH has spent years doing the "Hokey Pokey"

Now the kids sing it loud and look at him as they do :)

[GreatFuckability]

Bloody hell...im a MASSIVE chili pepper fan yet its only just occurred to me that I've never actually known that By The Way lyric...what the hell have I been singing since 2002????

[ComposHatComesBack]

hydro tits maybe if they wanted to market breast feeding as edgy and cool that's how they should rebrand it.

[imonaplane]

Jump by Van Halen. For 30 years I sang "Maxwell, jump" instead of "Might as well jump"! My children have recently put me right.

[MrsUnderwood]

"She's got a smooth vagina, she's got a loose vagina, she's got a huuuuuuuuuuuge vagina."

-Maroon 5, 'Moves like Jagger.'

[glitterinmyeyes]

DP for years misheard the lyrics from Gabrielle's song "Dreams Can Come True"

as

"brain skin come true"

[ComposHatComesBack]

My wife trying to describe a T Rex song called Mary Lou.

She expressed surprise that I'd never heard it as it was one of their biggest hits. You must know it the chorus goes 'Mary Lou, she's a Jew'.

She meant Metal Guru.

[Caffeinator]

Not me, but my best friend used to think that "When I die and they lay me to rest" from Spirit In The Sky was "When I die in the name of Tourette's".

[wanderings]

From the song "Bad Day":

"The ponies, point is they laugh at what you say..."

Also "Simply having, one double Christmas time".

[Alohamora]

My Mum told me her misheard lyric while we were sitting on a busy train from Edinburgh to Glasgow. I cried laughing

The lyric? Instead of 'tonight I celebrate my love for you' she heard 'tonight I sellotape my glove to you'

[MamaLazarou]

"This year, two semi-brown tears; I'll give 'em to someone special."

[MamaLazarou]

Mind the square faces, you're addicted to love

Mamma mia
Here we go again
My my
How can I assist you?

[EnthusiasmDisturbed]

Sympathy for the Devil

I thought ...
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of down in Hayes why Hayes

The actual line ...
And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
makes more sense

[lostinmiddlemarch]

Bob Dylan:

'Lay lady lay...lay across my big brass band'
It's meant to be 'my big brass bed' apparently.

I always thought it strange that Handel's Messiah begins with an opera singer bellowing out an invitation to 'COME FOR TEA, MY PEOPLE!'.
My DM informed me, weeping with laughter, that the correct version is 'Comfort ye, my people'.

[redexpat]

I am the lord of the dance settee.