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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To do this for my big birthday?

29 replies

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 18:25

I will be 40 next year, and we are having major works done to our house and also two big trips abroad so we can't afford to have a big party. I would, however like to do something to mark the occasion. I have finally come up with an "open house" idea, say from midday till late, where people can come any time, stay however long they want and then go home. I will provide food, but nothing huge, so sandwiches, tea, cake and booze. I will also ask some people who are very close to me to make or bring something to add to the food; I know they won't mind, and as I always do this for them I know it won't be a problem. DH however thinks this is unacceptable; he thinks we can't ask people to come a long way for anything less than a sit down meal. I have said I would make the food arrangements clear on the invitation so people have the option of declining to come if they think it's too much effort. AIBU?

OP posts:

rosebiggs · 29/12/2015 18:26

Sounds fab!

FlopIsMyChristmasGuru · 29/12/2015 18:29

Sounds ace. I'd much rather not have a sit down meal if travelling as it's an added stress to get there on time. Besides - your birthday your choice

venusinscorpio · 29/12/2015 18:29

So it's basically a party with afternoon tea and a buffet? Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

PingpongDingDong · 29/12/2015 18:30

Do it! We've done this a lot for various occasions and it's worked very well. The only thing that can be tricky is judging how much food/drink you're likely to need if the open house lasts a long time. Also it can be quite tiring!

HackerFucker22 · 29/12/2015 18:30

As long as you are clear then all is fine.

I go anywhere for cake and wine

Original poster

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 18:31

Thank you, I have been worrying, I thought the more informal it is, the better but DH has also said that if people have kids they will want them to have a proper dinner, which is weird as I wouldn't expect that for our DC.

OP posts:

January87 · 29/12/2015 18:32

It's your birthday you do what you want.

JE1234 · 29/12/2015 18:32

It sounds good to me. We have done similar in the past as I like low key dos. People will have fun regardless of whether you do a sit down meal, you are still feeding and watering them.

Original poster

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 18:33

It is, but the buffet would all be home made, so nothing fancy and not in abundance, that's the worry! Plenty of wine and bubbles though, I'm already stocking up on that!

OP posts:

AwfulBeryl · 29/12/2015 18:34

Sounds perfect to me, I would be happy to bring a bit of food and drink to a friends party if I got to spend a happy occasion with them.

BackInTheRealWorld · 29/12/2015 18:37

I much prefer informal parties like the one you are suggesting.
What shall I bring?

DurhamDurham · 29/12/2015 18:39

You're braver than me, I'd hate the idea of friends and family being able to pop in at any time.......I'm more into fun and parties in a very structured time limited type of way.
My teen girls call me Monica and I don't think they are being entirely affectionate

Original poster

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 18:42

I feel so reassured, thank you! Those of you who have done this before; what time did you give on the invitation? We have young DC so I don't want it to be too late.

OP posts:

JE1234 · 29/12/2015 18:44

We did ours from about 2 until 10. I intended it to be shorter but people can be hard to shift after a drink. Most people had turned up by 3/4 and about two thirds stayed to the end. Those that didn't left between 7 and 9 to put babies and toddlers up bed.

Original poster

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 18:44

Ah, but I'll be drinking so I doubt I'll care! And pavlova sounds good!

OP posts:

Postitblue · 29/12/2015 18:44

Sounds grand! BYOB /cake is a winner in my books

Plasticbagpandas · 29/12/2015 18:51

Sounds great to me. We did this for my friends birthday and it worked really well.
We did hers from 2 till 9 on the invite. The last guests left at 10. The people with young kids came earlier and left around 6-8 whereas the guests without young kids came later and stayed to the end.
My friend really enjoyed it.

sidsgranny · 29/12/2015 18:56

Sounds perfect to me! What time of year is it?

ClashCityRocker · 29/12/2015 19:04

Yes!! It was only on Mumsnet that I learnt that most parties aren't a byob pot luck supper type affair I don't get out much

2pm is a good time to start ime - anything much later and becomes more of an 'evening' do dynamic

Original poster

Lovestosing · 29/12/2015 19:16

2 - 9 sounds good to me, it will be in April so it will be an indoors thins unfortunately!

OP posts:

ladygracie · 29/12/2015 19:20

I think it sounds fab. If people are bothered about feeding their children then they will time when they come to fit in with that.

MoMoTy · 29/12/2015 19:20

I think it's a great idea, and mostly because people can pop over when it's convenient for them.

RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie · 29/12/2015 19:21

Sounds perfect. I'd be inclined to go for sarnies and crisps and then have a couple of slow cookers, one with a curry and one with a chilli, for later - with a load of French bread and some salad. Cake. Coffee and tea. Booze. Bob's yer uncle.

whois · 29/12/2015 19:28

Yeah but don't ask everyone to BYOB or bring a dish, it's your birthday and you are hosting so you really should provide the food and booze!

SeaCabbage · 29/12/2015 19:37

Make sure you put on the invitation when the party finishes! Otherwise you may find it going on forever. I too have had an all dayer and it was knackering. And that was in my 20s.

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