To do this for my big birthday?

[Lovestosing]

I will be 40 next year, and we are having major works done to our house and also two big trips abroad so we can't afford to have a big party. I would, however like to do something to mark the occasion. I have finally come up with an "open house" idea, say from midday till late, where people can come any time, stay however long they want and then go home. I will provide food, but nothing huge, so sandwiches, tea, cake and booze. I will also ask some people who are very close to me to make or bring something to add to the food; I know they won't mind, and as I always do this for them I know it won't be a problem. DH however thinks this is unacceptable; he thinks we can't ask people to come a long way for anything less than a sit down meal. I have said I would make the food arrangements clear on the invitation so people have the option of declining to come if they think it's too much effort. AIBU?

It sounds lovely to me

Perfectly fine, we went to a close friends open house thing for her 50th, they only put on nibbles but provided plenty of champagne but of course not one person turned up without a gift plus a bottle of bubbly. I would be happy to travel a distance for an afternoon of drinking and buffet food, if it was me I would ensure there is lots of food but as long as you are clear about what you are hosting then people will eat lunch first no doubt.

As someone with young kids, I would much prefer the open house and buffet - kids can eat what they want, aren't expected to sit quietly for ages while grown ups chat, we can leave if they get too restless..

Yes sounds fine. The suggestion about curry and/or chilli later in the day was a nice idea. 2-9 seems like a reasonable time span too. If you could make one room in the house into a room with kids' DVDs playing (minions etc) that also makes it easier for parents to chat.